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  • How to Develop an Opinion: Riding the Tricycle of Perspective

    How to Develop an Opinion: Riding the Tricycle of Perspective

    Opinions shape how we navigate the world. They influence our choices, our relationships, and the way we see ourselves. But where do opinions come from? Are they innate, or are they constructed over time? The truth is, our opinions are constantly evolving, shaped by a dynamic interaction between our lived experiences, our community, and our Traditions—three essential elements that function like the wheels of a tricycle.

    Before diving into these three elements, it’s important to introduce the concept of a worldview—the framework through which we interpret reality. Your worldview is a lens, an internal compass that guides how you perceive and engage with the world. It is not static; it develops and shifts based on your exposure to new experiences, ideas, and relationships.

    Now, let’s break down the three key elements—your lived experience, your community, and your Traditions—and how they contribute to your developing worldview and, ultimately, your opinions.


    1. The Front Wheel: Lived Experience

    The front wheel of the tricycle—the one that steers—is your lived experience. This is your personal journey through life: the things you’ve seen, the challenges you’ve faced, the lessons you’ve learned, and the places you’ve been. Your lived experience is uniquely yours, and it plays a critical role in shaping how you view the world.

    How Lived Experience Shapes Your Worldview

    • The country, culture, and family you are born into significantly impact your foundational beliefs.
    • Personal hardships, victories, and struggles refine how you see justice, fairness, and human nature.
    • The work you do, the places you visit, and the relationships you build all contribute to your perception of reality.
    • Major life transitions—such as becoming a parent, losing a loved one, changing careers—can challenge and reshape your opinions.

    Developing Your Lived Experience

    • Travel, if possible. Seeing different parts of the world (or even your own city) exposes you to new perspectives.
    • Read widely—memoirs, history, and fiction from different cultures can help expand your understanding.
    • Engage in self-reflection. Journaling, meditation, or simply taking time to process your experiences can help clarify your evolving worldview.
    • Be open to change. Recognize that what you believe today may evolve as new experiences shape your perspective.

    Your lived experience is a powerful guide, but it doesn’t function in isolation. Without the stabilizing force of the other two wheels—community and Tradition—your worldview risks becoming narrow or one-dimensional.


    2. The Left Wheel: Community

    The left wheel represents community—the people you surround yourself with. These are the voices you listen to, the relationships you invest in, and the groups you identify with. Your community can be made up of your family, friends, religious group, professional circle, online networks, or social clubs.

    How Community Shapes Your Worldview

    • Your cultural background, language, and upbringing are largely shaped by the people around you.
    • The groups you belong to (e.g., church, book clubs, sports teams, activism groups) influence what you prioritize and value.
    • The voices you listen to—mentors, podcasts, social media figures—can reinforce or challenge your existing beliefs.
    • If you are religious, you may believe that your community includes spiritual voices—God, the Holy Spirit, nature, or an inner guiding presence.

    Expanding Your Community’s Influence

    • Seek diverse perspectives. Engage with people who have different backgrounds, beliefs, and life experiences.
    • Be intentional about who influences you. Are you in an echo chamber, or do you allow for challenges to your thinking?
    • Reflect on how your environment has shaped you. If you had been born somewhere else or surrounded by different influences, how different might your opinions be?

    Community provides stability and accountability. However, without the final wheel—Traditions—you might lose sight of the broader wisdom that transcends individual relationships.


    3. The Right Wheel: Traditions (Capital T)

    The right wheel represents Traditions—the accumulated wisdom of the past. Traditions provide a foundation for understanding the world beyond just your personal experience or current community. They connect you to something larger than yourself—whether religious teachings, philosophical movements, or cultural heritage.

    How Traditions Shape Your Worldview

    • Religious traditions (Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, etc.) provide centuries of collective wisdom on morality, meaning, and purpose.
    • Philosophical and literary traditions shape how societies have historically grappled with big questions.
    • Cultural and family traditions instill a sense of identity, responsibility, and belonging.

    Engaging With Tradition

    • Read the foundational texts of different traditions—scriptures, classical literature, and historical works.
    • Learn about the historical context of your own beliefs—why do you think the way you do?
    • Be open to challenging traditions while still respecting their wisdom.
    • Recognize that your tradition is one among many—other cultures and civilizations have rich histories worth exploring.

    Traditions provide depth to your worldview. However, they must work alongside lived experience and community to create a well-rounded opinion.


    Putting It All Together: The Developing Worldview

    Your worldview emerges at the intersection of these three wheels. Like a tricycle, you need all three working togetherfor a balanced and forward-moving perspective.

    It’s important to emphasize developing—your worldview isn’t static. It grows, evolves, and shifts based on new experiences, different communities, and deeper engagement with tradition.

    Why This Matters for Developing an Opinion

    • Your opinion is not the truth. It may contain truths, but it is still just one perspective among many.
    • Recognizing biases helps you engage in better conversations and avoid dogmatism.
    • Humility allows you to hold strong convictions while still being open to growth.
    • Understanding different perspectives fosters empathy and deeper dialogue.

    A Final Thought on Perspective

    Where you are born, who you are surrounded by, and what traditions you engage with deeply influence the way you see the world. If you had been born in China, India, or Brazil, your worldview would likely be entirely different. If you had grown up in a different faith tradition or in a different socioeconomic environment, your opinions would reflect that.

    The key takeaway? Hold your opinions with conviction, but also with openness. Be aware that they are shaped by a complex and ever-evolving interplay of experience, community, and tradition. And as you continue pedaling through life, be open to the ways your tricycle may lead you into new and unexpected terrain.

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  • Loving-Kindness Meditation: Finding Rhythm in the Practice of Compassion

    Loving-Kindness Meditation: Finding Rhythm in the Practice of Compassion

    In a world that often feels fast-paced, overwhelming, and filled with uncertainty, the idea of cultivating loving-kindnessmight seem like a distant dream—something reserved for monks in mountain monasteries or those fortunate enough to have a personal retreat by the ocean. But for the rest of us—parents rushing to get kids ready for school, professionals drowning in deadlines, or just regular people desperately waiting for the Wi-Fi to work properly—how do we make space for kindness, for peace, for the gentle rhythms of connection?

    Loving-kindness isn’t about escaping life’s chaos. It’s about bringing a deep breath into the middle of it. Rooted in Buddhist tradition, this practice revolves around four simple yet powerful phrases:

    May I be free from danger.
    May I be free from mental suffering.
    May I be free from physical suffering.
    May I have ease of well-being.

    These words are not merely affirmations but an invitation to a deeper rhythm of life—one that fosters connection, healing, and kindness. The practice begins by offering these wishes to ourselves and then extends outward in widening circles: first to loved ones, then to acquaintances, then to those we find difficult, and finally, to all beings.

    This blog will explore how we can integrate these four phrases into our daily rhythm, offering simple practices to help embody the essence of loving-kindness at every stage.


    Step One: Offering Loving-Kindness to Yourself

    “May I be free from danger. May I be free from mental suffering. May I be free from physical suffering. May I have ease of well-being.”

    We often neglect ourselves when it comes to kindness. We extend care to others but forget to offer the same compassion inward. Yet, the foundation of Loving-Kindness Meditation is recognizing that we, too, are worthy of love and well-being. I find it really easy to justify kindest and grace to other people, but find it so hard to extend that same energy to myself.

    Guidelines for Self-Compassion

    1. Begin with Stillness – Find a quiet space, sit comfortably, and take a few deep breaths. Notice how your body feels. Close your eyes and bring your attention inward.
    2. Speak the Phrases with Intention – As you repeat each phrase, visualize yourself in a warm, comforting light. Feel the words gently settling into your heart.
    3. Notice Resistance – If self-criticism arises, simply observe it without judgment. Acknowledge it and return to the phrases.
    4. Use Gentle Touch – Place a hand over your heart or rest a palm on your cheek as a physical reminder of self-kindness.
    5. Set a Daily Ritual – Repeat the phrases when you wake up or before bed. You can also write them in a journal or say them while looking in a mirror.

    Simple Practices for Finding Rhythm

    • Morning Practice: Begin your day by sitting in stillness for five minutes, repeating these phrases.
    • Walking Meditation: As you walk, sync your steps with the words, feeling them settle into your being.
    • Self-Kindness Check-In: Whenever you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask, Am I treating myself with kindness right now?

    Cultivating loving-kindness for ourselves is not selfish; it is essential. Only when we are filled with compassion can we fully extend it to others. Like on an aircraft, the hosts always say, put on your own mask first, before helping other people.


    Step Two: Offering Loving-Kindness to Loved Ones

    “May you be free from danger. May you be free from mental suffering. May you be free from physical suffering. May you have ease of well-being.”

    Once we establish compassion for ourselves, we extend it to those we love. This includes family, friends, and mentors—people who naturally evoke warmth and gratitude.

    Guidelines for Extending Kindness to Loved Ones

    1. Visualize Them – Picture them in your mind, seeing them happy and healthy.
    2. Feel Gratitude – Reflect on what you appreciate about them before offering the phrases.
    3. Speak from the Heart – Whisper their names before saying the words or imagine their smiles as you send them well-wishes.
    4. Use Everyday Moments – Say these phrases when thinking about a loved one, texting them, or looking at their photo.

    Simple Practices for Finding Rhythm

    • Daily Dedication: Dedicate a few minutes to a different loved one each day.
    • Gratitude Notes: Write small loving-kindness notes and leave them where your loved ones will find them.
    • Shared Breath: When sitting with someone you love, take a moment to breathe deeply and silently offer them these wishes.

    Loving our close circle in a mindful way deepens our relationships and reminds us of our interconnectedness.


    Step Three: Offering Loving-Kindness to Acquaintances and Strangers

    “May you be free from danger. May you be free from mental suffering. May you be free from physical suffering. May you have ease of well-being.”

    This next step challenges us to move beyond personal attachments and extend kindness to people we barely know—co-workers, neighbors, cashiers, delivery drivers, and even those we pass on the street.

    Guidelines for Widening the Circle

    1. Notice the Unseen – Acknowledge people you might usually overlook.
    2. Hold a Gentle Smile – A smile, even in thought, can create a sense of warmth as you send these phrases.
    3. Embrace the Unknown – We may not know their struggles, but we can wish them ease.

    Simple Practices for Finding Rhythm

    • Silent Offering: While standing in line or commuting, mentally repeat the phrases for those around you.
    • Handwritten Kindness: Leave anonymous notes of encouragement in public places.
    • Acts of Service: When you open a door for someone, help a stranger, or tip generously, accompany the action with the phrases.

    Acknowledging the humanity in those we don’t personally know fosters a spirit of universal kindness.


    Step Four: Offering Loving-Kindness to Difficult People

    “May you be free from danger. May you be free from mental suffering. May you be free from physical suffering. May you have ease of well-being.”

    Yes, we all have them. You’re thinking about that person right now. This is often the hardest part—offering goodwill to those who have hurt us or whom we struggle to understand. Yet, this step is where deep transformation happens.

    Guidelines for Softening the Heart

    1. Start Small – Choose someone who is only mildly difficult before moving to those who have deeply hurt you.
    2. Recognize Shared Pain – Understand that all people suffer, and their actions often come from their own wounds.
    3. Let Go of Expectation – This is not about reconciliation but about releasing negativity from your heart.

    Simple Practices for Finding Rhythm

    • Distant Offering: Say these phrases for them without forcing yourself to feel warmth yet.
    • Reframe Perspective: Imagine them as a child, innocent and needing care.
    • Use Writing: Journal about your feelings toward them before offering the phrases.

    Holding space for difficult people with kindness doesn’t mean condoning harm—it means freeing ourselves from resentment.


    Step Five: Offering Loving-Kindness to All Beings

    “May all beings be free from danger. May all beings be free from mental suffering. May all beings be free from physical suffering. May all beings have ease of well-being.”

    The final expansion moves beyond individuals to include all life—humans, animals, and the earth itself. It is a recognition of our deep interconnection with the world.

    Guidelines for Universal Compassion

    1. Feel the Vastness – Picture the planet and its countless beings.
    2. Embrace Diversity – Send kindness across borders, to different cultures, species, and ecosystems.
    3. Trust the Ripple Effect – Small acts of kindness multiply, shaping a more compassionate world.

    Simple Practices for Finding Rhythm

    • Nighttime Reflection: End your day with a moment of stillness, sending kindness to all beings.
    • Nature Connection: While in nature, extend kindness to the trees, the sky, and all creatures.
    • Global Awareness: Read about different cultures with a heart of compassion, not judgment.

    When we open our hearts to the world, we participate in a profound act of healing.


    A Rhythm of Loving-Kindness

    Loving-kindness is not merely a practice,
    but the steady pulse of the universe,
    the hush of dawn spilling golden light on a quiet earth,
    the breath between waves as they rise and retreat,
    the unspoken knowing between old friends.

    It is the hush of a mother’s voice
    as she hums her child to sleep,
    the warmth of a stranger’s smile
    shared across the weary streets of the world,
    the gentle unfolding of petals
    as they stretch toward the sun,
    never questioning whether they are worthy of its light.

    Loving-kindness is the river that remembers
    the shape of every stone it kisses,
    the wind that carries whispered prayers
    to lands unseen,
    the silent benediction of the stars
    watching over the restless and the lost.

    It is the candle flickering in the window,
    guiding home the wanderer.
    It is the hand that does not hesitate to reach
    across boundaries of sorrow and time,
    knitting together the frayed edges of our humanity.

    And when we step into its rhythm,
    when we weave its melody into our days,
    we find that we no longer walk alone.
    For every wish we whisper for another
    is a light returned to our own hearts,
    every kindness given
    a thread in the great tapestry of grace.

    May we all find freedom, like birds loosed from cages,
    taking flight into the wide and boundless sky.

    May we all know peace, like the hush of twilight
    settling over fields of wildflowers.

    May we all walk in love, barefoot on sacred ground,
    leaving only the imprint of mercy in our wake.

    Dean Cothill – 2025

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  • From Pastors to Managers

    From Pastors to Managers

    How the Church Lost Its Way in the Name of Scale

    Most pastors don’t enter ministry to build systems. They don’t do it to run organizations, oversee teams, or delegate responsibilities. They do it for people—to love, connect, and walk alongside them in the messy, beautiful, complicated reality of life.

    But as soon as things start growing, the conversation shifts. We’re told we need to scale. We need to delegate. We need to create structures that ensure no one slips through the cracks. And delegation, we’re told, is leadership.

    At first, it makes sense. We can’t do everything ourselves. We need small group leaders, volunteer coordinators, service teams, admin support, communications managers, worship directors—the list goes on. Each layer of delegation allows the system to function more efficiently. We’re told it allows us to focus on what really matters.

    But what does that actually mean?

    Because what starts as a way to serve more people often ends up creating distance from the very people we set out to serve.

    With each system we implement, with each new tier of leadership we establish, we become further removed from the heart of the people. The ones we once pastored, we now oversee. The ones we once knew by name, we now refer to our team leaders. Instead of sitting with people in their grief, we schedule pastoral care meetings through an admin. Instead of knowing the struggles of the congregation firsthand, we hear about them secondhand through staff reports.

    And slowly—subtly—we are no longer pastors. We are managers.

    We don’t walk with the sheep; we manage the systems that manage the sheep.

    And because the system needs to keep growing, we invest in leadership development, management strategies, efficiency models—anything to ensure the machine keeps running. We justify it, believing we are empowering people. But are we? Or are we just spreading the weight of administration across more shoulders, making everyone work harder while still remaining just as disconnected?

    And maybe that’s the real question: Have we lost the heart of why we started?

    But Isn’t This the Model of Jesus?

    Here’s the counterargument: This is exactly how Jesus did it. Jesus had 12 disciples, and he sent them out two by two. Then there were 72 others. Then he fed 5,000. There was scale in Jesus’ ministry. There was delegation.

    Yes. That’s true.

    But look at what Jesus actually did.

    How often did he preach?

    In our modern evangelical system, we are attempting to preach fresh content every single week. New ideas, new sermon series, new branding, new themes. We’ve built an entire system around this weekly event.

    But Jesus?

    How many sermons do we actually know he preached?

    Maybe one? The Sermon on the Mount?

    And even then, we don’t see Jesus setting up a system to make sure people attended a sermon every single Sunday. We don’t see him building an organizational structure that ensured more people heard more content every week.

    What do we see?

    Jesus walking with people.
    Jesus eating with people.
    Jesus talking with people.
    Jesus showing up in homes.
    Jesus listening to people’s stories.
    Jesus healing people—one by one, face to face.

    His model wasn’t content delivery. It was relationship.

    And even when we see the early church in Acts, it’s not built around a weekly service. It’s built around people meeting in homes, breaking bread together, sharing everything in common (Acts 2:42-47).

    That’s the model. That’s the heartbeat.

    So yes, Jesus scaled. But not in the way we think of scaling. He never created a system to manage people. He created disciples who did what he did—walked with people, ate with people, lived among people. The early church followed this model, not by building preaching platforms and leadership pipelines, but by embedding their lives into the daily realities of others.

    Maybe We Need to Rethink It All

    What if the problem isn’t just that we’ve become managers instead of pastors?

    What if the entire way we think about church is flawed?

    What if the weekly sermon isn’t the centerpiece of spiritual formation?

    What if growth isn’t about numbers but about deep, relational discipleship?

    What if, instead of scaling a system, we simply walked with people?

    What if we stopped trying to build a brand and instead built a community?

    What if, instead of focusing on content creation, we focused on living the kind of life Jesus modeled?

    Because at the end of the day, the world doesn’t need more systems, sermons, or strategies.

    It needs people willing to do what Jesus did.

    To walk. To listen. To be present.

    To be pastors.

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  • The Measure of Success: Embracing Safety and Scripture

    The Measure of Success: Embracing Safety and Scripture

    I honestly don’t have the words to even try and begin to unpack what’s going on with Hillsong and Disney or Mike and Soul Survivor. I just weep. There are so many people involved here and so many sore and broken hearts, including mine. I hope that in the tears and sadness I can try and articulate something… I think I do have a comment about how far and how hard we think we need to push to “grow” something for the “sake of Christ and the Gospel”, because if it’s “growing” it must be right hey? If people are coming every Sunday then it must be God’s will, right? So what does it mean for us to be “successful”?

    In a world driven by achievement and materialistic pursuits, we often find ourselves measuring success in terms of wealth, status, and recognition. Doing whatever it take to get “a win”, regardless of who gets in the way or who gets hurts along the way. But what if we shifted our perspective? What if success was measured not by worldly accomplishments, but by the impact we have on others? Imagine if we measured success by the amount of safety that people felt in our presence. This thought-provoking idea prompts us to reevaluate our priorities and consider a different standard for success — one rooted in compassion, empathy, and genuine concern for others. I want to try and explore the concept of measuring success through the lens of safety, and complement this notion with one or two verses from the Bible that illuminate this perspective.

    How do we create a Safe Haven?

    Imagine a world where every interaction, every encounter, made people feel safe and valued. We all have experienced moments of vulnerability, uncertainty, hurt and fear, and in those moments, finding safety becomes paramount. Safety extends beyond physical security; it encompasses emotional well-being, psychological comfort, and a sense of belonging, and for those christians among us it’s about a “Spiritual Home”. To prioritize the safety of others is to create a safe haven where people can thrive and grow. I think this needs to be our stance these days, as I see it being Jesus’ stance, to those who feel uncertain, hurt, abused by power, thrown into the dirt with rocks at hand or clutching for dear life in a crowd of on lookers when no one else notices.

    What does the Bible say about safety?

    As we dive into the concept of measuring success through safety, we find guidance and inspiration in the pages of the Bible, and loads of it, hard to choose two verses here. The verses below highlight the significance of fostering an environment of safety and demonstrate how our actions can have a profound impact on those around us.

    1. Proverbs 18:10 (NIV): “The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.”

    This verse reminds us that God’s presence offers safety and refuge. Similarly, we can aspire to be a source of security and solace for others. By embodying righteousness, kindness, and compassion, we can become a haven of safety for those who seek comfort in our presence. This is really all I wanna strive for when it comes to raising Daniel and Elizabeth, these are the things I wanna pin to and nail to the walls of our home.

    home-is-safe
    1. Isaiah 32:18 (NIV): “My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.”

    Here, the prophet Isaiah envisions a society characterized by peace and security. We can learn from this vision and work towards creating environments where individuals feel secure, both physically and emotionally. Our words and actions have the power to cultivate a sense of peace and tranquility, allowing those around us to find rest and respite.

    How do we go about Redefining Success?

    When we measure success by the safety that people feel in our presence, we shift our focus from personal achievements to the well-being of others. It encourages us to become more self-aware, attentive, and empathetic. Valuing safety as a measure of success fosters an environment of trust, nurtures relationships, and strengthens communities. Maybe one day when I’m brave enough I’ll talk more about this…

    In a world often preoccupied with individual accomplishments, success and “how to win”, let us not forget the profound impact we can have on the lives of others. Imagine if we redefined success and measured it by the amount of safety that people felt in our presence. Let us aspire to create an environment where individuals feel secure, valued, and supported. By embracing this transformative perspective and incorporating the wisdom found in the Bible, we can foster a world that is not only successful by conventional standards but also deeply compassionate, empathetic, and safe.

    be-the-kind-one

    D.C.