Tag: but I cannot do it to myself…

  • Why is caring for people so hard right now?

    Why is caring for people so hard right now?

    If you asked me this question a year or two ago as on online pastor, this would have been my response…

    Here are seven potential reasons why being a church leader may be particularly challenging right now:

    • Pandemic-related restrictions: Many churches have had to adapt to pandemic-related restrictions on gathering sizes and social distancing measures, which can be difficult to navigate and may require leaders to make difficult decisions.
    • Virtual worship: Many churches have had to pivot to virtual worship, which can be less personal and interactive than in-person gatherings and may require additional technical skills and resources.
    • Disruption of regular routines: The pandemic has disrupted many regular routines, which may make it harder for leaders to plan and carry out ministry as usual.
    • Financial strain: The pandemic has had a significant economic impact on many individuals and families, which may affect their ability to contribute financially to the church and create additional financial pressures for leaders.
    • Mental health challenges: The pandemic and related stressors may be causing increased mental health challenges for many people, including leaders.
    • Political and cultural division: There may be political and cultural division within the church or within the wider community, which can create challenges for leaders.
    • Limited in-person interaction: Many churches have had to limit in-person interaction due to pandemic restrictions, which can make it harder for leaders to build relationships and provide support to members.

    These are answers that are based around leadership, church boards and structure, external circumstances like the pandemic and the list goes on and on and on…

    But what do we get to blame now?

    But Jesus addresses another idea and this idea particularly around what it means to LOVE ONE ANOTHER, BUT why is this so complicated at the moment…

    It is not uncommon for people to find it difficult to love others at times. There can be many reasons for this, including personal issues, external stressors, and challenges in relationships.

    One common reason why people may struggle to love others is because they are going through a difficult time in their own lives and are not able to fully focus on and engage with others. This can be due to personal issues such as mental health problems, financial stress, or other challenges that are occupying a lot of their mental and emotional energy.

    Another reason why loving others may be difficult is if there are challenges or conflicts in the relationships themselves. This could be due to differences in values, communication issues, or other conflicts that make it hard to feel connected and supportive towards the other person.

    It is also possible that external stressors, such as the demands of work or other responsibilities, can make it harder to find the time and energy to devote to loving others.

    Ultimately, the specific reason why loving others may be difficult will depend on the individual and their unique circumstances. If you are finding it hard to love others and are not sure why, it might be helpful to reflect on your own feelings and experiences, and to consider seeking the support of a mental health professional if you are struggling.

    Jesus said, love your neighbour as you love yourself, yet we find ourselves in the world, I believe more than ever, where we don’t have a clue about what it means to love ourselves. We talk about self-care and self-this or self-that, as if it’s the exception. It’s just care, and love for yourself.

    So easy for me to do to others, but I cannot do it to myself…

    So Jesus later says, I give you a new command, LOVE ONE ANOTHER, AS I HAVE LOVED YOU. I wonder if could see these guys, these disciples were struggling to love themselves and so it affected their relationship with each other. So He serves them in the lowest way possible in the day. (A topic for another day – but google what it meant to be a bond servant and what it meant to wash peoples feet. I wonder if Jesus was almost saying, Love yourself, as you love others. (Empaths, you feel me?) Love yourself, as you have loved others.

    • Be kind to yourself, as you have been kind to others.
    • Be gentle to yourself, as you have been kind to others.
    • Be patient to yourself, as you have been patient to others.
    • Be generous to yourself, as you have been generous to others.
    • Show yourself as much GRACE, as you do your friends…

    Loving yourself is important for your overall well-being and happiness. When you have a positive and healthy relationship with yourself, you are more likely to feel confident, capable, and resilient in the face of challenges.

    Self-love involves treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and respect, and recognizing your own worth and value as a person. It also involves taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health, and setting boundaries to protect yourself from harm or unhealthy situations.

    Self-love is not about being arrogant or egotistical, but rather about having a realistic and positive view of yourself and your worth. It is also not about being perfect or never experiencing negative emotions, but rather about accepting yourself, including your flaws and limitations, and treating yourself with care and understanding.

    Loving yourself can also make it easier to love others, as it helps you to feel more confident and secure in your relationships and allows you to be more open and receptive to the love and support of others. Love your neighbour, as you love yourself.

    Go easy on yourself today friend.

    Grace and peace

    Dean