The waves are bigger than the boat I’m in This all seems too much, I’m about to give in The water’s rough and the wind is fierce I grip the sides, my knuckles white with fear
I close my eyes and take a deep breath I try to calm my racing heart, to find some rest But the boat is tossed, it’s hard to stay upright I open my eyes, my future feels so bright
I think of all I have, the love and support I can’t let fear control me, I must resort To the strength within, the courage I possess I won’t let these waves bring me to distress
I will stand tall, I face the sea I will not let it defeat me I am a fighter, I won’t give up I’ll weather this storm, I’ll rise above
Brené Brown, a well-known researcher and author, has a mantra that she believes can help people be more authentic: “Don’t Shrink, Don’t Puff Up, Stand Your Sacred Ground.” Essentially, this means that when we are faced with situations that cause us to feel vulnerable, we tend to either shrink away or puff ourselves up in order to protect ourselves. However, Brown suggests that instead of resorting to these knee-jerk reactions, we should stand our ground and be true to ourselves.
Now lets try something, MEN struggle with vulnerability than women right?
It is not accurate to say that men generally struggle with vulnerability more than women. Vulnerability can be a challenging experience for people of all genders (and non-genders – I know and I am sorry), and there are many factors that can influence an individual’s ability to be vulnerable.
One possible reason that men may struggle with vulnerability more than women is that traditional gender roles often dictate that men should be strong and self-sufficient, while women are expected to be emotional and nurturing. These societal expectations can make it more difficult for men to express vulnerability, as it may be seen as a sign of weakness.
However, it is important to note that these gender roles are culturally constructed and not inherent to men or women. Additionally, individual differences and personal experiences can also play a role in how comfortable someone is with vulnerability. Some people may have had positive experiences with vulnerability and find it easier to be open and honest, while others may have had negative experiences and may be more hesitant to be vulnerable.
It is important to recognize that vulnerability is a natural and necessary part of human connection, and that everyone can benefit from being able to express their thoughts and feelings in a safe and supportive environment.
But why do we shrink or puff up in the first place? It’s often a natural response to adversity, as it’s a way to protect ourselves from shame, fear, and vulnerability. When we feel threatened or judged, we might shrink away, hiding or self-deprecating in order to avoid further harm. On the other hand, when we feel insecure, we might puff ourselves up, grandstanding or bullying in order to feel more in control. As kids, we have built up certain mechanisms to protect ourselves and many of us adults, as still using the same strategies.
But what’s the alternative? According to Brown, the key is to stand your sacred ground. This means being true to yourself and not letting others push you around or make you feel small. It’s about standing up for what you believe in and not being afraid to show your true self, even in the face of adversity.
So how do we do this? One key is to recognize when we are shrinking or puffing up, and to try to understand why. For example, if someone makes us feel small, we might ask ourselves what insecurities are being triggered and how we can address them. Similarly, if we find ourselves puffing up in order to feel more in control, we might try to understand what is causing that insecurity and find healthier ways to cope.
Take a moment to PAUSE here. READ THAT AGAIN!
It’s also important to remember that we all have the ability to make others shrink or puff up, either intentionally or unintentionally. It’s worth taking the time to reflect on our own actions and how they might impact others. Do we recognize when we are making others feel small, and do we try to stop it? Do we learn from our mistakes and try to do better in the future?
Ultimately, the key to standing your sacred ground is to be true to yourself and not let others define you. It’s about being confident in who you are and not letting fear or insecurity hold you back. So the next time you find yourself faced with adversity, remember Brené Brown’s mantra: “Don’t Shrink, Don’t Puff Up, Stand Your Sacred Ground.” Keep an eye out for another post coming soon around Moses and the Holy Ground he found himself on.
