Tag: people pleaser

  • Why emotional (MENTAL) health matters in leadership

    Why emotional (MENTAL) health matters in leadership

    Hey there, so here’s the deal. I want you to take your normal, everyday life – you know, the stuff you do like sleeping, eating, working, and just going about your day – and offer it up to God. Trusting in what God does for you is the best way to honor him. Don’t just blend in with the culture around you without really thinking about it. Instead, focus on God and he will transform you from the inside out. Pay attention to what he wants from you and follow through with it. Unlike the culture that often holds you back, God helps bring out the best in you and helps you grow into a mature and well-rounded person. If you know me you’ll know that I even got Romans 12 tattoo’d on my forearm. (video coming soon)

    Romans 12 says it like this… “but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Your mind. Your thoughts. Your thinking patterns need renewing. The way you think needs DAILY RENEWING. Almost like a daily wash in the Spirit. Maybe some questions if I may?

    • How to do you start/end your day?
    • Do you exercise or even go for a walk?
    • How much do you read? I don’t mean “drugged up addictive” social media scrolling
    • Who are your “sources” of inspiration?
    • How long have you had the routines you got now?

    Emotional and mental health are crucial components of effective leadership. In fact, leaders who prioritize their own emotional and mental well-being are often more effective at leading and inspiring others. This is because they are able to create a positive and supportive work environment, make sound decisions, and build trusting and authentic relationships.

    One of the key reasons why emotional and mental health matters in leadership is because it directly affects an individual’s ability to manage stress and handle challenges. Leaders who are emotionally and mentally healthy are better equipped to handle the demands of their roles, and are less likely to become overwhelmed or burnt out. They are also more resilient, and are able to bounce back from setbacks more quickly.

    In contrast, leaders who struggle with their emotional and mental health are more likely to make poor decisions, struggle to build positive relationships, and be less productive. They may also be more prone to conflict, and may struggle to create a positive work environment for their team.

    Another reason why emotional and mental health matters in leadership is because it is essential for building trust and authenticity. Leaders who are open and vulnerable about their own struggles and emotions are more relatable, and are more likely to inspire trust and loyalty in their team. They also model healthy coping mechanisms, and encourage their team members to prioritize their own well-being.

    On the other hand, leaders who are closed off or defensive about their emotions may struggle to build authentic relationships with their team. This can lead to a lack of trust and communication, and can ultimately hinder the effectiveness of the team.

    Emotional and mental health is particularly important when it comes to building trust and authenticity within a team. Leaders who are open and vulnerable about their own emotions and struggles are more relatable, and are more likely to inspire trust and loyalty in their team. When a leader is able to share their own vulnerabilities and struggles, it creates a sense of connection and understanding. It allows team members to feel seen and heard, and to know that their leader is human and has their own challenges. This in turn can create a culture of open and honest communication, where team members feel comfortable sharing their own thoughts and feelings.

    In contrast, leaders who are closed off or defensive about their emotions may struggle to build authentic relationships with their team. This can lead to a lack of trust and communication, and can ultimately hinder the effectiveness of the team. When team members feel that their leader is not open to hearing their thoughts and feelings, it can create a sense of disconnection and mistrust. This can lead to communication breakdowns, conflicts, and ultimately, a lack of cohesion within the team.

    Therefore, it is crucial for leaders to prioritize their own emotional and mental health in order to build trust and authenticity within their team. By being open and vulnerable about their own emotions, leaders can create a sense of connection and understanding, and inspire a culture of trust, collaboration, and resilience. Overall, emotional and mental health is an essential component of effective leadership, and it is crucial for leaders to prioritize their own well-being in order to create a positive and supportive work environment for their team.

    In conclusion, emotional and mental health is an essential component of effective leadership. It enables leaders to manage stress, make sound decisions, build authentic relationships, and create a positive work environment. By prioritizing their own well-being, leaders can set an example for their team, and inspire a culture of trust, collaboration, and resilience.

    My email address is dean@deancothill.co.za

    How are you, really?

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • Saying “NO” is the hardest thing…

    Saying “NO” is the hardest thing…

    I have a confession to make, I am a people pleaser. I honestly hate the idea that someone might not like me cause I said NO to them… I mean, I can do the thing they’re asking, no worries. I wish I learnt how to say NO sooner.

    Being a people pleaser means trying to please or accommodate others at the expense of your own needs and desires. People pleasers may go out of their way to avoid conflict, make others happy, or gain approval and acceptance. They may feel pressure to say yes to requests or to conform to the expectations of others, even if it means sacrificing their own goals or values.

    People pleasing can be motivated by a desire to be liked or to avoid criticism or rejection. However, constantly trying to please others can be emotionally and physically draining, and can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and low self-esteem. It can also prevent people from expressing their own needs and opinions and from setting healthy boundaries.

    If you think you might be a people pleaser, it can be helpful to take time to reflect on your own values and priorities and to practice setting boundaries and communicating your own needs and desires. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to say no and to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

    Saying no can be difficult, especially if you tend to be a people-pleaser or if you feel guilty when you turn down requests. However, it’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs and well-being. Here are some tips for learning to say no:

    1. Practice self-awareness: Take a moment to think about what you really want and need. Consider your values, goals, and priorities, and use these to guide your decisions.
    2. Be direct and firm: When you say no, be clear and direct. Avoid hedging or apologizing excessively, as this can undermine your message.
    3. Use “I” statements: Rather than blaming or criticizing others, use “I” statements to express your own thoughts and feelings. For example, instead of saying “You’re being unreasonable,” you could say “I don’t feel comfortable with that request.”
    4. Offer an alternative: If you’re unable to fulfill a request, consider suggesting an alternative solution or compromise. This can help the other person understand your perspective and may make it easier for them to accept your decision.
    5. Practice saying no in low-stakes situations: Start by saying no to small requests or invitations that don’t matter much to you. This can help you build confidence and become more comfortable with the process.
    6. Remember that it’s okay to say no: It’s important to remember that it’s okay to say no and that you have the right to set boundaries and prioritize your own well-being. Don’t let guilt or fear of disappointing others keep you from making decisions that are best for you.

    I hope this helps.

    Grace and peace,

    Dean