Dean Cothill

Tag: authentic pastoral care

  • Story is King: Your local Story is Sacred

    Story is King: Your local Story is Sacred

    In today’s fast-paced, highly competitive business world, it’s more important than ever for brands and churches to stand out and tell their unique story. Why? Because consumers are tired of being bombarded with generic, formulaic messaging that doesn’t speak to them on a personal level. They want to connect with brands that have a real, authentic message to share.

    Content is king?

    As Gary Vee likes to say, “Content is king, but context is god.” What this means is that in order for a brand’s message to truly resonate with consumers, it needs to be communicated in the right way and in the right context. Telling a unique story is one of the most effective ways to do this. We know this, we have all been doing this for 1000’s of years, and today, we still do this, standing around fires at our homes whether BBQ’s or braai’s or even just in our kitchens (How many deep and meaning conversations have you had in your kitchen? Right? LOADS!)

    Think about it: people are naturally drawn to stories. They want to know the behind-the-scenes details of how a brand came to be, what inspired it, and what sets it apart from the competition. A brand’s story is the perfect way to give consumers that deeper level of understanding and connection.

    Authentic Story Telling Matters

    But it’s not just about telling a story for the sake of telling a story. A brand’s story needs to be authentic, it needs to be true, it needs to be unique and it needs to be relevant to the consumer. A brand that has a unique story to tell is one that has a clear sense of purpose and identity. It knows why it exists, and it can communicate that to consumers in a way that resonates with them on a personal level.

    When a brand tells its unique story, it creates a sense of trust and loyalty with consumers. They feel like they know the brand and understand its values. This is crucial in today’s world where consumers are faced with a plethora of options and are often overwhelmed by the sheer number of choices available to them. A unique story helps a brand stand out and be remembered in a sea of sameness.

    Story creates community (Shared experiences)

    Another important aspect of telling a unique story is that it helps a brand to create a sense of community. When consumers feel like they are part of a brand’s story, they feel like they are part of something bigger than themselves. They feel like they are part of a movement, a tribe, a community of like-minded individuals. This sense of belonging is incredibly powerful and can create a deep sense of loyalty among consumers.

    Moreover, a brand’s unique story can also serve as a powerful marketing tool. It gives the brand a way to differentiate itself from the competition and communicate its unique value proposition in a way that resonates with consumers. A unique story can be used to create compelling content, such as videos, blog posts, social media updates, and more, that can be shared across multiple platforms to reach a wider audience.

    However, telling a unique story is not a one-time thing. It’s an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and commitment. Brands need to be willing to be transparent, authentic, and vulnerable. They need to be willing to share their struggles as well as their successes. They need to be willing to constantly evolve and adapt their story as their brand and the market changes. We all have that uncle that comes over every Christmas and tells us all the SAME STORY OVER and OVER and OVER. No one stops him, partly cause we don’t want to hurt his feelings but mainly cause we actually love hearing again. We love it when people tell us the stories that REALLY MATTER TO THEM.

    In conclusion, telling a unique story is essential for brands, communities and churches to stand out in today’s crowded marketplace. It helps to create a deeper level of understanding and connection with consumers, build trust and loyalty, create a sense of community and serve as a powerful marketing tool. However, it’s not just about telling the story, it’s about telling it authentically, consistently, and being willing to evolve it as necessary. As Gary Vee says, “The most important thing in business is to be true to who you are, and be transparent about it.”

    Grace and peace

    D

  • Elsa and Gale (Frozen 2)

    Elsa and Gale (Frozen 2)

    Confession time, Animation movies are my absolute best. Kung Fu Panda, Inside out, How to train your dragon and of course, Frozen.

    Our household at the moment is going through Frozen 2 season. I honestly find it to be one of the most beautiful movies at the moment. Just even the simple example of how Elsa talks to the Wind, Gale, and their relationship speaks so deeply to me. (Jesus and the Spirit, the Wind, The Ruach)

    A lot of it has to do with what I’m personally going through at the moment I’m sure, but I just find myself crying so often in this movie, I’ve literally seen it a 100 times by now I’m sure but the scenes in the film still get me, the music and the melodies still sneak past the dragons that guard my heart and I just weep, even tonight I had to get up from the couch cause I didn’t want the kids to see me crying, and Elzaan shouts, “Hey, you’re missing the best part, where you?”, while I try wipe and hide the tears. Yes I cry in front of my kids and yes we talk about our feelings and naming our emotions, but that’s a story for another day.

    The character of Elsa in Disney’s “Frozen 2” I see as a metaphor for the journey of self-discovery and the courage it takes to step into the unknown. (I absolutely love both versions of this song, Idina is just, well Idina and then there’s Brendon, from Panic! at the disco and that’s just unreal)

    Throughout the film, Elsa is faced with a series of challenges that require her to confront her own limitations and to embrace her true identity. This journey can be seen as a metaphor for the challenges we all face as we strive to understand ourselves and our place in the world.

    One of the central themes of “Frozen 2” is the idea of stepping into the unknown and embracing the challenges that come with it. This is exemplified in Elsa’s journey to uncover the truth about her past and to understand her true identity. Despite her fear and uncertainty, Elsa is willing to venture into the unknown and confront the challenges that stand in her way.

    This willingness to embrace the unknown and to take risks is a key aspect of the journey of self-discovery. As the psychologist Jordan Peterson has pointed out, it is through facing and overcoming adversity that we are able to build resilience and strength. By stepping into the unknown and embracing the challenges that come with it, we can learn more about ourselves and discover our true potential.

    In “Frozen 2,” Elsa’s journey into the unknown also serves as a metaphor for the importance of embracing our true identities. Throughout the film, Elsa struggles to understand and accept her powers as a magical ice queen. This journey of self-discovery requires her to confront the fear and insecurity that have held her back in the past and to embrace her true identity. What are some of the parts of who you are that you have just kept inside? Somewhere along the way someone told you to keep quiet and you just haven’t found your voice again. Someone laughed at the way you danced at a party and have chosen never to dance again. Somewhere along the way someone or something said we aren’t good enough and we have chosen to keep it inside, located away. But something keeps calling it out of us… We hear it. We know it. Even know as you read this, you’re thinking about that thing…

    This message is particularly relevant in today’s world, where there is often pressure to conform to societal expectations and to fit into predetermined roles. It is only by embracing our true selves and stepping into the unknown that we can truly live authentically and find meaning and purpose in our lives.

    The other day the kids and I went to Red Berry Farm just outside George for a little play date at the berry picking farm.

    Red Berry Farm with the kids

    It was a day like any other, the kids played, we ate loads of berries and drank strawberry milkshakes. Seated while watching the kids I quickly needed to run to the toilet, I ran to Daniel, said stay right where you are, I’m coming now. Ran as fast as I could to get to the toilet and was absolutely stopped in my tracks by a piece of art by a local artist, Olivia Strydom. (See below)

    Art by Olivia Strydon

    Everything about it just made me start tearing up. Me. On my horse. The wild open space. No idea where I am or where I’m going. Knowing that I’m gonna have to trust my Horse to get us where we going. Gotta trust that when Jesus says he will carry me, He means it. Peter gets out the boat, takes that “leap” or step of faith…

    Elsa wrestles the wind at first, she wrestles the Horse, Jacob wrestled. I’m wrestling. Who am I? Where am I going? Just so much unknown.

    How do I be brave and take the next step? Do the next right thing?

    Bravery and taking a leap of faith are two concepts that are often closely intertwined. When we are brave, we are willing to take risks and step outside of our comfort zones. This often requires us to have faith in ourselves and in the unknown.

    In the words of Brené Brown, “Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” Taking a leap of faith requires us to let go of our fear and trust in something greater than ourselves.

    It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routines of life and become complacent. We might feel safe and secure in our comfort zones, but true growth and fulfillment often come from taking risks and stepping outside of our comfort zones. This is where bravery comes in.

    Being brave doesn’t mean that we never feel fear. In fact, it’s completely normal to feel afraid when we are facing something new or uncertain. The difference between those who are brave and those who are not is that brave individuals choose to move forward despite their fear. They understand that fear is a natural and necessary part of the growth process.

    There are many ways that we can be brave and take a leap of faith in our lives. It might be as simple as saying yes to an invitation to try something new or speaking up in a difficult conversation. It could also be something bigger, like quitting a job that no longer brings us joy or moving to a new city.

    No matter what form it takes, being brave and taking a leap of faith requires us to let go of our fear and embrace the unknown. It’s not an easy process, and it requires vulnerability and courage.

    But the rewards of being brave and taking a leap of faith are well worth it. When we are brave, we open ourselves up to new experiences, opportunities, and growth. We also model bravery for others, which can inspire them to take their own leaps of faith.

    It’s important to remember that taking a leap of faith doesn’t mean that everything will always work out perfectly. There will be challenges and setbacks along the way. But when we are brave and have faith in ourselves and in the process, we can learn and grow from these experiences.

    So if you’re feeling stuck or unfulfilled in your life, consider taking a leap of faith and being brave. It might be scary, but it’s worth it. As Brené Brown says, “The willingness to show up changes us, It makes us a little braver each time.” So don’t be afraid to take that leap and see where it takes you.

    I see this whole movie as a metaphor for the journey of self-discovery and the courage it takes to step into the unknown. Whether we are facing the challenges of everyday life or trying to understand our place in the world, it is only by embracing the unknown and taking risks that we can truly grow and develop as individuals. So let us be like Elsa and embrace the journey of self-discovery, for it is only through this journey that we can truly discover who we are and what we are capable of.

    Courage.

    Let’s stay in touch

    Grace and peace

    DC

  • What is the difference between “resting for” something and “resting from” something…

    What is the difference between “resting for” something and “resting from” something…

    You ask anyone who has run a race, hit the gym or finished an event, you wanna do that again? They will say “absolutely”, but if you ask them, you wanna do that again right now? They’ll say, “No thanks, gotta get some rest first…”

    At its most basic level, resting for an activity refers to the idea of preparing oneself for an upcoming task or challenge. This might involve physical preparation, such as stretching or warming up before a workout or game, or it might involve mental or emotional preparation, such as taking a few deep breaths before a big presentation or calming oneself before a stressful meeting. Essentially, resting for an activity is about getting ourselves ready to take on whatever lies ahead.

    In contrast, resting from an activity refers to the idea of taking a break after we have completed a task or challenge. This might involve physically resting our bodies after a workout or mentally decompressing after a long day at work. Resting from an activity is about allowing ourselves time to recharge and recover, both physically and mentally, so that we can be ready to tackle the next thing that comes our way.

    So why is it important to differentiate between these two forms of rest as we start 2023?

    For one thing, it helps us to be more mindful of our own needs and to be more intentional about how we care for ourselves. It can be easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, and to push ourselves too hard without taking adequate time to rest and recharge. By recognizing the importance of both resting for an activity and resting from an activity, we can be more intentional about building rest into our lives in a way that allows us to be more resilient and better equipped to handle the challenges that come our way.

    This is an idea that Brené Brown has explored in her work on vulnerability and wholehearted living. In her TED Talk on “The Power of Vulnerability,” Brown discusses the importance of cultivating a sense of belonging and connection in our lives, and how this requires us to be vulnerable and open to the ups and downs of life. But being vulnerable and open also requires us to take care of ourselves, to be mindful of our own needs and to practice self-compassion. This means taking the time to rest and recharge, both before and after the challenges that we face.

    For Brown, resting is not just a matter of physical or mental recovery, but also a way to connect with ourselves and with the people around us. She writes, “Rest is not the absence of work. Rest is not the absence of striving. Rest is the presence of worth. It’s the presence of love and connection.” In other words, resting is about taking time to be present with ourselves and with others, and to recognize the inherent worth and value that we bring to the world. This requires us to be intentional about building rest into our lives, and to be mindful of when we need to rest for an activity and when we need to rest from an activity.

    Here are a few ways to incorporate both resting for an activity and resting from an activity into your daily routine:

    • Take breaks between tasks: It’s important to allow yourself time to rest and recharge between tasks, particularly if you are working on something mentally or emotionally demanding. Taking breaks can help you to refocus and feel rejuvenated, rather than burnt out.
    • Get enough sleep: Sleep is crucial for both physical and mental recovery, so it’s important to prioritize getting enough sleep every night. This means establishing a regular sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and taking steps to create a sleep-friendly environment (such as keeping your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet).
    • Engage in relaxation techniques: There are many different techniques that can help you to relax and recharge, such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness practices. Experiment with different techniques to find what works best for you, and make time for relaxation on a daily basis.
    • Connect with others: Building connections with others is an important part of wholehearted living, and it can also be an important form of rest and recharge. Whether it’s spending quality time with friends and family, joining a social group, or participating in a hobby or activity that you enjoy, taking time to connect with others can be a great way to restore your sense of balance and well-being.
    • Prioritize self-care: Finally, it’s important to prioritize self-care in your daily routine. This might mean setting aside time for a hobby or activity that you enjoy, taking a relaxing bath or shower, or indulging in a favorite treat. Whatever it is that helps you to feel cared for and nourished, make sure to make time for it in your schedule.

    Balance is so important in all of the ideas above, find your rhythm, find your pace, rest for and rest from various activities. By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can be more intentional about resting for an activity and resting from an activity, and build more resilience and well-being into your life. Remember, rest is not just about physical or mental recovery, but also about cultivating a sense of connection and worth, and taking time to be present with yourself and those around you. By taking the time to rest, you can better prepare yourself for the challenges ahead and live a more wholehearted and fulfilling life.

    Much love

    Dean

  • Should insecurity stop me from…

    Should insecurity stop me from…

    A few days ago I was up early and a cold misty morning at Sardinia Bay was not the most auspicious of starts, but as I wrapped my red KWAY Jacket around me and trudged up the sandy dune (LOL if you know exactly what I mean), the sand was cold and the mist was thick. Even made it hard to see as the air was so moist… Can see more here about Sards.

    I ran down the dune to get my feet warm and hit the water and it was freezing cold and so I just followed the shore and kept walking. Calm, windless, misty Sards. I made my way about 500 down the beach and just surround by mist, I saw these 3 Dark Horses in the distance. So I continued my way down the beach and got a very flat section of the ocean, a pond like, very flat swimming pool if you will. Ice cold water and perfect for a morning swim.

    As they approached the shore, the group of horses standing at the water’s edge didn’t move, their dark coats glistening with the morning dew. They were majestic creatures, with powerful muscles rippling beneath their skin and eyes that seemed to penetrate my very soul. They just have so much presence and I was so nervous that I had interrupted their walk, that I was getting in the way somehow. So I asked one of the jockeys if everything is ok, if I should move or leave “their space”, if they wanna get in the water.

    And she gently replied, “No please, them seeing you in the water is giving them the courage to consider getting in the water, as they never want to walk in water, ever. So this is amazing. Thank you.

    So I asked nervously if I may approach the horses and she said I could…

    I approached cautiously, not wanting to startle them, but as I drew near, one of the horses turned its head towards me and let out a soft whinny. I couldn’t help but smile at the greeting, and I reached out a hand to stroke the horse’s nose. To my surprise, the horse nuzzled my hand and I let out a contented sigh. I couldn’t believe it – these wild creatures seemed almost tame, as if they were waiting for me to arrive. (I know that sounds ridiculous…)

    I spent the next 10 minutes walking with with the horses, marveling at their beauty and grace as they walked gently in the shallow water, almost to my knees at times. I had never felt such a strong connection with an animal before, and I knew that this was a moment I would always treasure. I felt Gale (more about that later and my YouTube channel coming soon) Story time with Dean and Gale, say, Dean if you’re brave enough, you will give other people the courage and bravery to also step into cold situations and take some risks for their dreams. And that’s all I hope to do here… Light a fire in your bones.

    And then almost instantly, the jockey gestured to her friends and the horses turned around and they said good bye, and then I was alone, with what felt like the most Holy Moment just before sunrise… I quickly whipped of my clothes and dived into the freezing water, Goodness me what a wake up. Best. Feeling. Ever.

    As I turned to head back home, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe and wonder at the magic of the natural world. It was moments like these that made me believe that there was still so much out there waiting to be discovered, and that life was full of endless possibilities. I realised then that goodness me I long for the wild, I long for the cold on my skin, I longed for the insecurity and unpredictability that the weather and the wild could produce.

    As humans, we are hardwired to seek security and predictability. It’s a natural instinct that helps us feel safe and grounded in a rapidly changing world. But sometimes, following our dreams requires us to make scary, insecure decisions that challenge the status quo and push us out of our comfort zone. (And sometimes we need someone to show us that some things are possible…)

    For many of us, the thought of taking a risk and stepping into the unknown is downright terrifying. We worry about failing, making mistakes, or being judged by others, the fear that maybe the water is too cold and I don’t know what I could find in the depths? These fears can hold us back and prevent us from pursuing our passions and living the lives we truly want.

    But as Brene Brown says, “the only way to get to the other side of fear is to walk through it.” In other words, the only way to achieve our dreams is to embrace the fear and uncertainty that comes with making bold moves.

    This doesn’t mean that we should blindly charge ahead into the open seas and hope for the best without considering the potential consequences. (I think of Frozen 2 here) It’s important to carefully weigh the pros and cons and make informed decisions. But it does mean that we should be willing to take calculated risks and embrace the potential for failure as part of the journey.

    Making scary, insecure decisions can also be an opportunity for growth and learning. When we face challenges and setbacks, we have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes and come back stronger. These experiences can help us develop resilience and build the courage to take on even bigger challenges in the future. one small step into the water turns into an open water swim turns into an icy swim in the arctic circle. My prayer is that your dreams would frighten and awaken you to your core.

    But perhaps most importantly, making scary, insecure decisions allows us to live authentically and follow our hearts. It’s easy to get caught up in the expectations of others or the societal norms of what we “should” be doing. But when we make the brave choice to pursue our dreams, we are able to live a life that is true to ourselves and fulfill our unique purpose.

    At 19 I started to play the guitar for our little local youth ministry in Benoni. (Yes I have photos and no I won’t share them, LOL) And I recall the bravery I summoned to perform for a small audience of like 20, even though it took a million wrong notes to find the right melody and key. I remember the insecure steps I took to my first job interview as I tried to impress the boss with all the “right” words”. I remember the strength I had to pull out of my self when I had to stand for something I believed in and no one stood up with me, leaving me without a job, but standing up for what I believe was right. I even remember the insecure teenager who knelt on his girlfriends kitchen floor and asked her to marry him.

    Now, we seek clarity and stability, but the truth is they aren’t real. You know this to be true with in yourself.

    So if you’re feeling scared or uncertain about making a big decision, remember that it’s okay to be afraid. It’s a natural part of the process. But don’t let your fear hold you back from chasing your dreams. Embrace the insecurity and take that first step towards making your dreams a reality. You never know where it might lead you…

    I’ll come with a couple lines from my favourite band, Switchfoot. (Thanks Jon)

    We found a way out
    The city takes everything it can
    But outside the crowds
    I can feel my lungs again

    Born for the blue skies
    We’ll survive the rain
    Born for the sunrise
    We’ll survive the pain

    Listen here.

    Grace and Peace

    Dean

  • The Mother Nature of God

    The Mother Nature of God

    As a spiritual guide and teacher, I often encourage people to think about God in new and different ways. One way that can be particularly powerful is to think about God as a Mother. Before someone throws a stone at me. In the Hebrew and Christian Bible, God is usually described in male terms in biblical sources, with female analogy in Genesis 1:26-27, Psalm 123:2-3, and Luke 15:8-10; a mother in Deuteronomy 32:18, Isaiah 66:13, Isaiah 49:15, Isaiah 42:14, Psalm 131:2; and a mother hen in Matthew 23:37 and Luke 13:34.

    BUT when we do this, it can bring the world to a standstill – it’s as if the feminine aspect of God dilutes the miraculous, when in reality it embodies it.

    We often celebrate when Jesus turns water into wine, but when women turn their breasts into milk, we often react with discomfort or even disdain. This demonstrates the ways in which we devalue the feminine and maternal, even within a religious context. The broken body of a man is celebrated every Sunday, while the broken body of a woman is often hidden away, as if it is something to be ashamed of.

    It’s no surprise that the word “mother” is often used by men as a way to demonize those who don’t conform to traditional gender roles, and to shame those who challenge authority. But when we think about God as a mother, she is neither quiet nor compliant. She leads with confidence, she questions authority, and she commands respect. And perhaps this is the problem – seeing God as a mother means seeing God in ourselves, and that can be uncomfortable. It requires us to confront and challenge our own biases and limitations.

    But to disentangle God from motherhood is impossible, and to disentangle God from womanhood is sinful. Seeing God as a mother brings us one step closer to understanding the divine within us, and it’s in that understanding that we are truly reborn. It allows us to embrace the fullness of who we are, and to recognize the inherent divinity in all of creation. It requires us to recognize the sacred in the mundane, and to find meaning and purpose in the everyday.

    But when we think of God as a mother, she is neither quiet nor compliant. She leads with confidence, she questions authority, and she commands respect. And perhaps that’s the problem – seeing God as a mother means seeing God in ourselves, and that can be uncomfortable. But to disentangle God from motherhood is impossible, and to disentangle God from womanhood is sinful. Seeing God as a mother brings us one step closer to understanding the divine within us, and it’s in that understanding that we are truly reborn.

  • How to keep your content evolving… (Story is king…)

    How to keep your content evolving… (Story is king…)

    You have a story.

    You have a story. Your story is made up of your authentic personality and the life experiences that shape you into who you are today. It’s who you’ve been, what you’ve done, and how those experiences have affected your outlook on life – who you are as an individual. This is what makes you unique. And it’s what gives you the opportunity to connect with others on a deeper level. Your story also has a plotline – meaning that it has a beginning, middle and end. You start out as an underdog and work your way up; maybe there’s a particular event or period of time that changed the course of your life for good. But you have a story, and it’s yours and as you read, you’ll realise, ITS SO SACRED. Don’t let anyone ever stop you from telling your story, ever.

    The story of Joseph, Genesis 41

    You might be familiar with the story of Joseph, who was sold into slavery by his brothers and sent to work in Egypt. His dream was that one day he would rise to become the second most powerful person in Egypt. And this dream came true! Joseph was able to make his dreams a reality because he planned for them, strategized how they would come true, and put policies in place to ensure their success. This is how you make your goals happen too.

    If you have a goal or objective that isn’t being reached as quickly as you’d like it to be—whether it’s making more money or getting fit—consider what steps must happen before achieving that goal? These are things like:

    • Planning out a timeline
    • Building relationships with key players
    • Getting clear on what success looks like (for example: number of sales made per month)

    How Joseph’s story can help you today

    Joseph’s story is the story of a man who was in prison, but he was not broken. He learned to use his time in prison to create a vision for the future and to begin changing things around him. Joseph inspired others by telling them about his dreams, which eventually became their reality as well.

    It is the story of a man who was able to use his creativity to bring about change in himself and others around him.

    Step 1. Your content must evolve – from theory to practive, from dream to the plan

    You must evolve your content from theory to practise.

    Your creativity must also evolve from a dream to a plan.

    Dreams grow as plants grow. The bigger the plant gets the bigger the pot will eventually need to be. Make sure your dreams have big pots. Plan for big pots, and dream for even bigger fields and plots.

    Once you dream it, you have to make it happen. Your creativity must evolve from a dream into a plan.

    This is the next step in taking your content strategy from good to great:

    • Dream BIG about what you want your social media presence to look like and feel like. What kind of content do you want to share? On what platforms? With whom? Etc.
    • Create a plan for how you’re going to achieve that vision. That could mean creating new graphics, videos or other assets; setting up processes for scheduling posts; hiring writers and designers; learning how-to’s on new software tools like Gif Maker (a free tool provided by Facebook) – whatever it takes! Do what you gotta do. Design what you gotta design. Like these windows. Just do it.

    Step 2 like Joseph, put a policy in place that connects your content and creativity with your genuine leadership purpose.

    • You know what you stand for, but do others? What’s the message of your organization? How do you want to be seen in the world? Without having an existential crisis, lol, WHO ARE YOU?

    There’s that beautiful moment where PO gets asked, WHO ARE YOU?

    Kai:
    Who are you?

    Po:
    I’ve been asking myself that question. Am I the son of a panda? The son of a goose? A student? A teacher? I’m all of those things. [Po’s chi forms the shape of a dragon around him] I am the Dragon Warrior! Get it? You see the giant dragon?

    • To answer these questions, define what’s important to you (or business) and create a mission statement or vision statement that communicates it. Also make sure all your friends and family (and employees) understand how their work fits into this plan. They’ll be more committed when they understand how their contributions contribute value to the overall outcome—and so will customers and partners!

    Step 3. You are ready to lead creatively and authentically, leading with a relational heart.

    Leading with your story is the most authentic way to lead in a world of digital distraction. Your story is real and true—not manufactured or curated. Your lived experience and absolutely who you are. TAKE A DEEP BREATHE HERE.

    You will need to ask yourself some tough questions: What are my values? What do I believe in? Why am I here? How do I want people to feel when they interact with me? When you know what matters most to you, then you can begin sharing it through words, images and videos that reflect who you really are even as they attract like-minded peers who resonate with your authenticity.

    Leading with purpose is another important element for becoming an influencer. There’s no point in being creative if there’s no clear reason for doing so beyond ‘because.’ Think about the purpose behind everything that makes sense for your brand or organization before jumping into content creation mode: Why does this matter? Who cares about this issue (or cause)? How will this help someone else?”

    Authentic and creative leaders lead with THEIR stories, not other people’s

    Authentic and creative leaders lead with their stories.

    Relational leaders lead with their stories.

    Story is king (and queen).

    I want to highlight. “Our stories are sacred” is a phrase that highlights the idea that our personal stories, experiences, and histories are valuable and important. It suggests that our stories are not only meaningful to us as individuals, but also hold a deeper significance and value.

    As individuals, our stories are incredibly valuable and important. They are the foundation of our identity, the source of our strength and resilience, and the way we connect with others. Our stories are the threads that weave together the tapestry of our lives, giving shape and meaning to our experiences.

    When we share our stories with others, we open ourselves up to vulnerability and connection. We invite others to see us for who we truly are and to witness the struggles and triumphs that have shaped us. This can be a deeply transformative and healing experience, as it allows us to feel seen, heard, and understood.

    Let us remember that our stories are sacred and hold them close and cherish them. And let us also have the courage to share them with others, knowing that in doing so, we are honoring ourselves and the human experience that we all share.

    So, how do you lead creatively and authentically as a leader? It’s simple. You tell your story – the story that motivates you to action. Then, you connect this story with the creativity needed to build a plan for your organization that is aligned with your true leadership purpose. The result is an innovative strategy that reflects your values (and those of those around you).

    Please mail me, dean@deancothill.co.za and I would love to chat and share stories…

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • Why emotional (MENTAL) health matters in leadership

    Why emotional (MENTAL) health matters in leadership

    Hey there, so here’s the deal. I want you to take your normal, everyday life – you know, the stuff you do like sleeping, eating, working, and just going about your day – and offer it up to God. Trusting in what God does for you is the best way to honor him. Don’t just blend in with the culture around you without really thinking about it. Instead, focus on God and he will transform you from the inside out. Pay attention to what he wants from you and follow through with it. Unlike the culture that often holds you back, God helps bring out the best in you and helps you grow into a mature and well-rounded person. If you know me you’ll know that I even got Romans 12 tattoo’d on my forearm. (video coming soon)

    Romans 12 says it like this… “but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Your mind. Your thoughts. Your thinking patterns need renewing. The way you think needs DAILY RENEWING. Almost like a daily wash in the Spirit. Maybe some questions if I may?

    • How to do you start/end your day?
    • Do you exercise or even go for a walk?
    • How much do you read? I don’t mean “drugged up addictive” social media scrolling
    • Who are your “sources” of inspiration?
    • How long have you had the routines you got now?

    Emotional and mental health are crucial components of effective leadership. In fact, leaders who prioritize their own emotional and mental well-being are often more effective at leading and inspiring others. This is because they are able to create a positive and supportive work environment, make sound decisions, and build trusting and authentic relationships.

    One of the key reasons why emotional and mental health matters in leadership is because it directly affects an individual’s ability to manage stress and handle challenges. Leaders who are emotionally and mentally healthy are better equipped to handle the demands of their roles, and are less likely to become overwhelmed or burnt out. They are also more resilient, and are able to bounce back from setbacks more quickly.

    In contrast, leaders who struggle with their emotional and mental health are more likely to make poor decisions, struggle to build positive relationships, and be less productive. They may also be more prone to conflict, and may struggle to create a positive work environment for their team.

    Another reason why emotional and mental health matters in leadership is because it is essential for building trust and authenticity. Leaders who are open and vulnerable about their own struggles and emotions are more relatable, and are more likely to inspire trust and loyalty in their team. They also model healthy coping mechanisms, and encourage their team members to prioritize their own well-being.

    On the other hand, leaders who are closed off or defensive about their emotions may struggle to build authentic relationships with their team. This can lead to a lack of trust and communication, and can ultimately hinder the effectiveness of the team.

    Emotional and mental health is particularly important when it comes to building trust and authenticity within a team. Leaders who are open and vulnerable about their own emotions and struggles are more relatable, and are more likely to inspire trust and loyalty in their team. When a leader is able to share their own vulnerabilities and struggles, it creates a sense of connection and understanding. It allows team members to feel seen and heard, and to know that their leader is human and has their own challenges. This in turn can create a culture of open and honest communication, where team members feel comfortable sharing their own thoughts and feelings.

    In contrast, leaders who are closed off or defensive about their emotions may struggle to build authentic relationships with their team. This can lead to a lack of trust and communication, and can ultimately hinder the effectiveness of the team. When team members feel that their leader is not open to hearing their thoughts and feelings, it can create a sense of disconnection and mistrust. This can lead to communication breakdowns, conflicts, and ultimately, a lack of cohesion within the team.

    Therefore, it is crucial for leaders to prioritize their own emotional and mental health in order to build trust and authenticity within their team. By being open and vulnerable about their own emotions, leaders can create a sense of connection and understanding, and inspire a culture of trust, collaboration, and resilience. Overall, emotional and mental health is an essential component of effective leadership, and it is crucial for leaders to prioritize their own well-being in order to create a positive and supportive work environment for their team.

    In conclusion, emotional and mental health is an essential component of effective leadership. It enables leaders to manage stress, make sound decisions, build authentic relationships, and create a positive work environment. By prioritizing their own well-being, leaders can set an example for their team, and inspire a culture of trust, collaboration, and resilience.

    My email address is dean@deancothill.co.za

    How are you, really?

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • Why is SEO important for my local church?

    Why is SEO important for my local church?

    I started in the Methodist Church as a bight eyes bushy tailed 19 year old, for 9 years being a youth, young adults and worship pastor in Johannesburg and then here in Port Elizabeth (South Africa). I then changed jobs a little and then found myself in a non-denominational church for 5 years being the Online Church Pastor. (A video for another day – LOL). One church had 1000 members a service, other services we were hoping for 20 people to arrive, yes, 20! and then pre pandemic we had 2000 people per service 3 times a Sunday…

    It doesn’t matter if you’re a large church or a small church—if your website isn’t getting traffic, it’s not going to be successful. And unfortunately, getting people to visit your website is not as easy as it used to be. Search engine optimization (SEO) has become more important than ever in order for churches to get the attention of their target audiences. That’s why I’ve put together this list of five reasons why SEO is essential for churches and online churches today:

    SEO is important for increasing traffic to your church website

    Search engine optimization is important because it helps you to rank higher in search engines, like Google. This will increase the amount of traffic your website gets, which is the most effective way to drive more sales and leads. Having a high ranking on Google can also help you get more exposure through organic traffic and social media channels.

    If you want to grow your church and online church, SEO is one of the best ways to achieve this goal. Because it takes time for results, it’s an ideal long term strategy for any church pastor and creative team who doesn’t want their success dependent on short term gains from promotions or paid advertising campaigns. (So much money spent on Facebook Ads, and sometimes even more now port pandemic)

    SEO provides a higher ROI than traditional marketing

    SEO is a long-term strategy, so it’s more cost effective. SEO provides better ROI than traditional marketing. Printing 5000 flyers at the robots or local mall will only go so far. There are only 5000 of them, we don’t know who actually sees these flyers and it ends there. We have all had that one post that goes a little viral, and it just goes much further than we ever thought it could’ve.

    SEO is more targeted than traditional marketing: When you use SEO to target your audience, you can reach them when they are ready to buy and convert on your website. This is not possible with other forms of advertising, which means that the people who see your ad are much more likely to visit your church or event in the future.

    Local Church SEO is more measurable than traditional marketing: Because Google Analytics tracks all of the information about how users interact with websites, it makes sense for us to know if our efforts are paying off or not! and here we can then innovate and pivot if we need to.

    SEO builds trust and credibility

    Search engines are known for their good taste. If a website is well-known and respected, it’ll rank higher in search results. This means that you will be rewarded for the time and effort you’ve put into building trust with your audience.

    After all, if you’re an established church that built a good reputation online, why would people not trust you and your team?

    SEO helps build credibility among potential congregation or community members and helps them see that you’re trustworthy—a church they can rely on.

    SEO increases your market share

    So terrible to think like this but, Jesus has called us to go fishing, and let’s catch so much fish that the nets break… Search engine optimization is a long-term strategy. You can’t expect to see results overnight. That said, if you’re willing to put in the time and effort, SEO can increase your market share—and the amount of fish you catch. Peter, Paul and John spent many nights on the water… How many nights you spending online?

    It helps you reach new members through organic search engine placement. Not only do unique visitors come from local searches, but those who visit your website will be more likely to actually check you out online for a church service or visit you in person.

    Search engines help drive traffic back to your site so that visitors stay on it longer—which means they’ll get more value out of their experience with you and are more likely to return again later on down the road, online or in person.

    SEO has the best ROI over time

    SEO has the best ROI over time. We in ministry for the long run, yeah?

    While PPC can be a great short-term strategy, it’s important to understand that with SEO, you’re investing in your church online presence for the long term. In other words, as you grow and invest in your church online, so too will your investment in SEO grow and pay off over time. So if you’re looking for a quick win that’ll help you get started on this journey, look elsewhere—SEO is a long game that requires patience and dedication but will eventually reap rewards if you stick with it.

    There are many benefits to using search engine optimization (SEO) in your church.

    Search engine optimization is an essential part of every churches marketing strategy. It is the best return on investment (ROI) and has many long-term benefits to your church.

    SEO is a low cost marketing strategy that increases your “market” share, which will lead to more people attending church and getting connected to community in the long run.

    Conclusion

    As you can see, SEO is an essential part of any local churches’ marketing strategy. It provides many benefits that other types of marketing don’t have—including higher returns on investment and greater trust in your “brand”. If you still aren’t convinced that SEO is right for your church, then consider the fact that it has the best ROI over time because there are no upfront costs involved! That means you can start seeing results right away without having to spend big bucks first. So what are you waiting for? Start implementing these strategies today!

    Church leaders (and maybe even business owners), I hope this helps…

    Contact me if you have any questions about SEO and other online presence management things.

    Much love

    Dean

  • What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

    What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

    Are you a man? Are you a man’s man? Are you a ladies man? Ever been told to man up? Suck it up and be a man? Stop crying, boy’s don’t cry? The world we live in have told kids and men in many different ways that there are norms and that there are some things that are on the table and things that aren’t.

    So I think it’s important to note that masculinity, like any social construct, is constantly evolving and can vary significantly depending on cultural and historical context. In this response, I will focus on how masculinity has evolved in Western societies over the past five years, but it is worth noting that the experiences and expectations of masculinity can be very different in other parts of the world.

    Over the past five years, there has been a growing movement to challenge traditional notions of masculinity and to promote more inclusive and healthy expressions of masculinity. This has included a focus on issues such as toxic masculinity, male privilege, and the harmful effects of rigid gender roles on men and those around them.

    One of the key drivers of this shift has been the #MeToo movement, which has brought attention to issues of sexual harassment and assault, particularly as they relate to men’s behavior and the power dynamics between men and women. The #MeToo movement has sparked a broader conversation about the ways in which traditional notions of masculinity can contribute to harmful and oppressive behaviors, and has encouraged men to examine their own actions and beliefs and to consider how they can be part of the solution.

    Another factor that has contributed to the evolution of masculinity is the increasing recognition of the importance of mental health and emotional intelligence. In the past, there has often been a stigma attached to men seeking help for mental health issues or expressing emotions other than anger or aggression. However, in recent years there has been a growing understanding that men also experience a range of emotions and that it is important for their overall well-being to be able to express and process these emotions in healthy ways. Coming off the last 3 months, I am going to try and be brave and vulnerable and honest about so many of my struggles and emotional health issues coming off work, stress, anxiety and burnout. (All of which I never saw coming, I mean, I honestly thought it would never happen to me. EVER)

    This shift has been driven in part by the LGBTQ+ movement, which has worked to create more inclusive and accepting environments for people of all gender identities and sexual orientations. As a result, there has been a greater acceptance and understanding of the diversity of gender and sexual identities, and a recognition that not all men identify as heterosexual or conform to traditional gender roles.

    This shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality has challenged traditional notions of masculinity, which have often been based on rigid and narrow ideas of what it means to be a “man.” By allowing for a wider range of expressions of masculinity, this shift has helped to create a more inclusive and accepting society for people of all genders and sexualities.

    It is worth noting that this shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality is not limited to men, but is also applicable to women and those who do not identify with either binary gender. However, for the purposes of this response, I focused specifically on how this shift has affected and challenged traditional notions of masculinity.

    Overall, it is clear that masculinity has evolved significantly over the past five years, and will likely continue to evolve in the future. While there is still much work to be done to create more equitable and healthy expressions of masculinity, it is encouraging to see the progress that has been made in recent years.

    Having Daniel and Elizabeth has absolutely opened my eyes to what it means to be a “boy” and what it means to be a “girl” and what it means to raise a child.

    It is important to recognize that all children are unique individuals and parenting approaches should be tailored to meet the needs and personality of each individual child. That being said, there are some general differences between raising boys and girls that may be worth considering:

    • Physical differences: Boys and girls may have different physical characteristics and developmental milestones. For example, boys may develop physically and emotionally at a slightly faster pace, and may be more interested in rough-and-tumble play, and soccer, and the World Cup and Ronaldo and that final, and Messi. Girls may mature more slowly and may be more interested in dolls and imaginative play.

    • Socialization and gender roles: Boys and girls may be socialized differently by society and may be encouraged to exhibit different behaviors based on gender stereotypes. It is important for parents to be aware of these societal expectations and to try to avoid imposing rigid gender roles on their children.
    1. Communication styles: Boys and girls may communicate differently, with boys often being more physically expressive and girls more verbal. It is important for parents to be attuned to their child’s individual communication style and to try to encourage open and honest communication.
    2. Emotional expression: Boys and girls may express their emotions differently. Boys may be more likely to suppress their emotions or to express them through physical aggression, while girls may be more likely to express their emotions through verbal communication. It is important for parents to encourage open and healthy expression of emotions in both boys and girls.

    Again, it is important to remember that these are generalizations and that every child is unique. The most important thing is to approach parenting with love, patience, and an open mind, and to be responsive to the needs and personality of your individual child.

    So what does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a dad?

    Stay tuned for PART 2 next week…

    Much love

    D

  • The RCT Principle

    The RCT Principle

    According to the Relational Confidence Theory, everything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational. This means that if you’re not getting support from a group or someone else (like a boss), then it’s harder to stay committed to something that doesn’t want the best for you. To put it another way, it’s about our commitment to our TASKS will be relative to how CONNECTED I feel to the TEAM.

    There is a reason why former soldiers, in a study done by Dr. Xavier Amador, committed suicide after getting out of the Army but not while they were in it.

    The reason why former soldiers, in a study done by Dr. Xavier Amador, committed suicide after getting out of the Army but not while they were in it is that soldiers have a strong sense of commitment to their unit, but not to the task. This is true for many other organizations as well and can be seen in companies where people feel isolated or like they are not doing what they were hired to do. This phenomenon can cause unnecessary turnover because people don’t want to work on projects that they don’t find meaningful.

    If you have been tasked with leading an organization’s employee engagement efforts, it may help you if you understand how your employees’ minds work when it comes to working on tasks and within groups.

    There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from within, such as when someone is passionate about something, and extrinsic motivation comes from external factors like money or praise. The problem with extrinsic motivation is that it can be fleeting and does not always provide long-term commitment to tasks. This means that if you want employees to stay on a project, they will have to care about it in some way beyond just getting paid.

    Relational Confidence Theory states that anything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational.

    While the RCT Principle is a bit more complex than this, it can be summed up as follows:

    • Relational Confidence Theory states that anything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational. The work and the people I get to do the work with.
    • Task commitment is the reason you do something; relational commitment is the reason you do it well.
    • We need both to be successful.

    Task commitment and relational commitment are two important factors that can influence the way we approach and complete tasks. Task commitment is the reason we decide to do something. It’s the motivation that drives us to take on a project or task, and it can come from a variety of sources, such as a sense of responsibility, a desire to learn or improve, or a sense of personal accomplishment.

    Relational commitment, on the other hand, is the reason we do something well. It’s the dedication and effort we put into a task because of the impact it will have on our relationships with others. For example, we might work hard on a project for a boss or colleague because we value and respect them, or because we want to maintain a positive working relationship.

    Both task and relational commitment are important, and they often go hand in hand. When we have a strong sense of task commitment, we are more likely to put in the effort and dedication needed to complete a task well. And when we have a strong sense of relational commitment, we are more likely to take pride in our work and strive to do our best in order to maintain and strengthen our relationships with others.

    However, there may be times when one type of commitment is stronger than the other. For example, we might be highly motivated to complete a task because it’s important to us personally, but not necessarily because it will have a direct impact on our relationships with others. In these cases, our task commitment may be the driving force behind our efforts.

    It’s also possible to have low levels of both task and relational commitment. In these cases, it can be difficult to find the motivation and dedication needed to complete tasks well. This is why it’s important to identify and cultivate both task and relational commitment in our work and personal lives.

    One way to do this is to set clear goals and priorities for ourselves. By focusing on what we want to achieve and why it’s important to us, we can tap into our sense of task commitment and use it to drive our efforts. We can also think about the impact our work will have on others and how it can strengthen our relationships. This can help to cultivate a sense of relational commitment and encourage us to do our best.

    Another way to foster both task and relational commitment is to find work or projects that align with our values and passions. When we are passionate about what we do, it can be easier to find the motivation and dedication needed to complete tasks well. And when we see the value in our work and how it can benefit others, it can help to strengthen our sense of relational commitment.

    In conclusion, task commitment and relational commitment are two important factors that can influence the way we approach and complete tasks. By focusing on our goals, priorities, and passions, and considering the impact our work will have on others, we can cultivate both types of commitment and increase our motivation and dedication to do our best.

    We can do something well because we are committed to our work but don’t feel like we have anyone who is backing us up.

    Another example of when the RCT principle doesn’t apply is when you’re not really committed to your work or your organization. In this case, even though you might be doing something well, it’s not going to last. Another way of looking at this situation is that sometimes people do things well because they’re committed but don’t feel like they have anyone backing them up. That leads us back to our original point; if someone feels like they are being backed up by others, then they will do their jobs better and more consistently than otherwise!

    Without support from someone else or a group, you can end up feeling like there’s no point in doing great work. You’ll start to feel resentment toward your organization or company, which is an indicator that you aren’t really committed to it as a whole anymore either (it’s harder to be committed to something that doesn’t want the best for you).

    If you’re not connected to your team and/or task with purpose and meaning, then it’s easy for others on your team (or elsewhere) who are connected with purpose and meaning themselves to get annoyed by your lack of connection. This is especially true if they’re working hard, but their efforts aren’t being recognized by anything other than the loudest person in the room (ahem).

    Conclusion

    You need to be confident in your work and know that someone is backing you up. This will help increase your productivity as well as make you feel more satisfied with what you’re doing on a daily basis. If this sounds familiar, try reaching out to someone who can support you throughout the day – whether it’s family or friends or even just talking about how stressful things have been recently!

    Grace and Peace fam

    Keep an eye out for this video to be released soon.

    Dean