What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

Are you a man? Are you a man’s man? Are you a ladies man? Ever been told to man up? Suck it up and be a man? Stop crying, boy’s don’t cry? The world we live in have told kids and men in many different ways that there are norms and that there are some things that are on the table and things that aren’t.

So I think it’s important to note that masculinity, like any social construct, is constantly evolving and can vary significantly depending on cultural and historical context. In this response, I will focus on how masculinity has evolved in Western societies over the past five years, but it is worth noting that the experiences and expectations of masculinity can be very different in other parts of the world.

Over the past five years, there has been a growing movement to challenge traditional notions of masculinity and to promote more inclusive and healthy expressions of masculinity. This has included a focus on issues such as toxic masculinity, male privilege, and the harmful effects of rigid gender roles on men and those around them.

One of the key drivers of this shift has been the #MeToo movement, which has brought attention to issues of sexual harassment and assault, particularly as they relate to men’s behavior and the power dynamics between men and women. The #MeToo movement has sparked a broader conversation about the ways in which traditional notions of masculinity can contribute to harmful and oppressive behaviors, and has encouraged men to examine their own actions and beliefs and to consider how they can be part of the solution.

Another factor that has contributed to the evolution of masculinity is the increasing recognition of the importance of mental health and emotional intelligence. In the past, there has often been a stigma attached to men seeking help for mental health issues or expressing emotions other than anger or aggression. However, in recent years there has been a growing understanding that men also experience a range of emotions and that it is important for their overall well-being to be able to express and process these emotions in healthy ways. Coming off the last 3 months, I am going to try and be brave and vulnerable and honest about so many of my struggles and emotional health issues coming off work, stress, anxiety and burnout. (All of which I never saw coming, I mean, I honestly thought it would never happen to me. EVER)

This shift has been driven in part by the LGBTQ+ movement, which has worked to create more inclusive and accepting environments for people of all gender identities and sexual orientations. As a result, there has been a greater acceptance and understanding of the diversity of gender and sexual identities, and a recognition that not all men identify as heterosexual or conform to traditional gender roles.

This shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality has challenged traditional notions of masculinity, which have often been based on rigid and narrow ideas of what it means to be a “man.” By allowing for a wider range of expressions of masculinity, this shift has helped to create a more inclusive and accepting society for people of all genders and sexualities.

It is worth noting that this shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality is not limited to men, but is also applicable to women and those who do not identify with either binary gender. However, for the purposes of this response, I focused specifically on how this shift has affected and challenged traditional notions of masculinity.

Overall, it is clear that masculinity has evolved significantly over the past five years, and will likely continue to evolve in the future. While there is still much work to be done to create more equitable and healthy expressions of masculinity, it is encouraging to see the progress that has been made in recent years.

Having Daniel and Elizabeth has absolutely opened my eyes to what it means to be a “boy” and what it means to be a “girl” and what it means to raise a child.

It is important to recognize that all children are unique individuals and parenting approaches should be tailored to meet the needs and personality of each individual child. That being said, there are some general differences between raising boys and girls that may be worth considering:

  • Physical differences: Boys and girls may have different physical characteristics and developmental milestones. For example, boys may develop physically and emotionally at a slightly faster pace, and may be more interested in rough-and-tumble play, and soccer, and the World Cup and Ronaldo and that final, and Messi. Girls may mature more slowly and may be more interested in dolls and imaginative play.

  • Socialization and gender roles: Boys and girls may be socialized differently by society and may be encouraged to exhibit different behaviors based on gender stereotypes. It is important for parents to be aware of these societal expectations and to try to avoid imposing rigid gender roles on their children.
  1. Communication styles: Boys and girls may communicate differently, with boys often being more physically expressive and girls more verbal. It is important for parents to be attuned to their child’s individual communication style and to try to encourage open and honest communication.
  2. Emotional expression: Boys and girls may express their emotions differently. Boys may be more likely to suppress their emotions or to express them through physical aggression, while girls may be more likely to express their emotions through verbal communication. It is important for parents to encourage open and healthy expression of emotions in both boys and girls.

Again, it is important to remember that these are generalizations and that every child is unique. The most important thing is to approach parenting with love, patience, and an open mind, and to be responsive to the needs and personality of your individual child.

So what does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a dad?

Stay tuned for PART 2 next week…

Much love

D

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