Dean Cothill

Tag: Dean Cothill

  • What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

    What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

    Are you a man? Are you a man’s man? Are you a ladies man? Ever been told to man up? Suck it up and be a man? Stop crying, boy’s don’t cry? The world we live in have told kids and men in many different ways that there are norms and that there are some things that are on the table and things that aren’t.

    So I think it’s important to note that masculinity, like any social construct, is constantly evolving and can vary significantly depending on cultural and historical context. In this response, I will focus on how masculinity has evolved in Western societies over the past five years, but it is worth noting that the experiences and expectations of masculinity can be very different in other parts of the world.

    Over the past five years, there has been a growing movement to challenge traditional notions of masculinity and to promote more inclusive and healthy expressions of masculinity. This has included a focus on issues such as toxic masculinity, male privilege, and the harmful effects of rigid gender roles on men and those around them.

    One of the key drivers of this shift has been the #MeToo movement, which has brought attention to issues of sexual harassment and assault, particularly as they relate to men’s behavior and the power dynamics between men and women. The #MeToo movement has sparked a broader conversation about the ways in which traditional notions of masculinity can contribute to harmful and oppressive behaviors, and has encouraged men to examine their own actions and beliefs and to consider how they can be part of the solution.

    Another factor that has contributed to the evolution of masculinity is the increasing recognition of the importance of mental health and emotional intelligence. In the past, there has often been a stigma attached to men seeking help for mental health issues or expressing emotions other than anger or aggression. However, in recent years there has been a growing understanding that men also experience a range of emotions and that it is important for their overall well-being to be able to express and process these emotions in healthy ways. Coming off the last 3 months, I am going to try and be brave and vulnerable and honest about so many of my struggles and emotional health issues coming off work, stress, anxiety and burnout. (All of which I never saw coming, I mean, I honestly thought it would never happen to me. EVER)

    This shift has been driven in part by the LGBTQ+ movement, which has worked to create more inclusive and accepting environments for people of all gender identities and sexual orientations. As a result, there has been a greater acceptance and understanding of the diversity of gender and sexual identities, and a recognition that not all men identify as heterosexual or conform to traditional gender roles.

    This shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality has challenged traditional notions of masculinity, which have often been based on rigid and narrow ideas of what it means to be a “man.” By allowing for a wider range of expressions of masculinity, this shift has helped to create a more inclusive and accepting society for people of all genders and sexualities.

    It is worth noting that this shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality is not limited to men, but is also applicable to women and those who do not identify with either binary gender. However, for the purposes of this response, I focused specifically on how this shift has affected and challenged traditional notions of masculinity.

    Overall, it is clear that masculinity has evolved significantly over the past five years, and will likely continue to evolve in the future. While there is still much work to be done to create more equitable and healthy expressions of masculinity, it is encouraging to see the progress that has been made in recent years.

    Having Daniel and Elizabeth has absolutely opened my eyes to what it means to be a “boy” and what it means to be a “girl” and what it means to raise a child.

    It is important to recognize that all children are unique individuals and parenting approaches should be tailored to meet the needs and personality of each individual child. That being said, there are some general differences between raising boys and girls that may be worth considering:

    • Physical differences: Boys and girls may have different physical characteristics and developmental milestones. For example, boys may develop physically and emotionally at a slightly faster pace, and may be more interested in rough-and-tumble play, and soccer, and the World Cup and Ronaldo and that final, and Messi. Girls may mature more slowly and may be more interested in dolls and imaginative play.

    • Socialization and gender roles: Boys and girls may be socialized differently by society and may be encouraged to exhibit different behaviors based on gender stereotypes. It is important for parents to be aware of these societal expectations and to try to avoid imposing rigid gender roles on their children.
    1. Communication styles: Boys and girls may communicate differently, with boys often being more physically expressive and girls more verbal. It is important for parents to be attuned to their child’s individual communication style and to try to encourage open and honest communication.
    2. Emotional expression: Boys and girls may express their emotions differently. Boys may be more likely to suppress their emotions or to express them through physical aggression, while girls may be more likely to express their emotions through verbal communication. It is important for parents to encourage open and healthy expression of emotions in both boys and girls.

    Again, it is important to remember that these are generalizations and that every child is unique. The most important thing is to approach parenting with love, patience, and an open mind, and to be responsive to the needs and personality of your individual child.

    So what does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a dad?

    Stay tuned for PART 2 next week…

    Much love

    D

  • The RCT Principle

    The RCT Principle

    According to the Relational Confidence Theory, everything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational. This means that if you’re not getting support from a group or someone else (like a boss), then it’s harder to stay committed to something that doesn’t want the best for you. To put it another way, it’s about our commitment to our TASKS will be relative to how CONNECTED I feel to the TEAM.

    There is a reason why former soldiers, in a study done by Dr. Xavier Amador, committed suicide after getting out of the Army but not while they were in it.

    The reason why former soldiers, in a study done by Dr. Xavier Amador, committed suicide after getting out of the Army but not while they were in it is that soldiers have a strong sense of commitment to their unit, but not to the task. This is true for many other organizations as well and can be seen in companies where people feel isolated or like they are not doing what they were hired to do. This phenomenon can cause unnecessary turnover because people don’t want to work on projects that they don’t find meaningful.

    If you have been tasked with leading an organization’s employee engagement efforts, it may help you if you understand how your employees’ minds work when it comes to working on tasks and within groups.

    There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from within, such as when someone is passionate about something, and extrinsic motivation comes from external factors like money or praise. The problem with extrinsic motivation is that it can be fleeting and does not always provide long-term commitment to tasks. This means that if you want employees to stay on a project, they will have to care about it in some way beyond just getting paid.

    Relational Confidence Theory states that anything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational.

    While the RCT Principle is a bit more complex than this, it can be summed up as follows:

    • Relational Confidence Theory states that anything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational. The work and the people I get to do the work with.
    • Task commitment is the reason you do something; relational commitment is the reason you do it well.
    • We need both to be successful.

    Task commitment and relational commitment are two important factors that can influence the way we approach and complete tasks. Task commitment is the reason we decide to do something. It’s the motivation that drives us to take on a project or task, and it can come from a variety of sources, such as a sense of responsibility, a desire to learn or improve, or a sense of personal accomplishment.

    Relational commitment, on the other hand, is the reason we do something well. It’s the dedication and effort we put into a task because of the impact it will have on our relationships with others. For example, we might work hard on a project for a boss or colleague because we value and respect them, or because we want to maintain a positive working relationship.

    Both task and relational commitment are important, and they often go hand in hand. When we have a strong sense of task commitment, we are more likely to put in the effort and dedication needed to complete a task well. And when we have a strong sense of relational commitment, we are more likely to take pride in our work and strive to do our best in order to maintain and strengthen our relationships with others.

    However, there may be times when one type of commitment is stronger than the other. For example, we might be highly motivated to complete a task because it’s important to us personally, but not necessarily because it will have a direct impact on our relationships with others. In these cases, our task commitment may be the driving force behind our efforts.

    It’s also possible to have low levels of both task and relational commitment. In these cases, it can be difficult to find the motivation and dedication needed to complete tasks well. This is why it’s important to identify and cultivate both task and relational commitment in our work and personal lives.

    One way to do this is to set clear goals and priorities for ourselves. By focusing on what we want to achieve and why it’s important to us, we can tap into our sense of task commitment and use it to drive our efforts. We can also think about the impact our work will have on others and how it can strengthen our relationships. This can help to cultivate a sense of relational commitment and encourage us to do our best.

    Another way to foster both task and relational commitment is to find work or projects that align with our values and passions. When we are passionate about what we do, it can be easier to find the motivation and dedication needed to complete tasks well. And when we see the value in our work and how it can benefit others, it can help to strengthen our sense of relational commitment.

    In conclusion, task commitment and relational commitment are two important factors that can influence the way we approach and complete tasks. By focusing on our goals, priorities, and passions, and considering the impact our work will have on others, we can cultivate both types of commitment and increase our motivation and dedication to do our best.

    We can do something well because we are committed to our work but don’t feel like we have anyone who is backing us up.

    Another example of when the RCT principle doesn’t apply is when you’re not really committed to your work or your organization. In this case, even though you might be doing something well, it’s not going to last. Another way of looking at this situation is that sometimes people do things well because they’re committed but don’t feel like they have anyone backing them up. That leads us back to our original point; if someone feels like they are being backed up by others, then they will do their jobs better and more consistently than otherwise!

    Without support from someone else or a group, you can end up feeling like there’s no point in doing great work. You’ll start to feel resentment toward your organization or company, which is an indicator that you aren’t really committed to it as a whole anymore either (it’s harder to be committed to something that doesn’t want the best for you).

    If you’re not connected to your team and/or task with purpose and meaning, then it’s easy for others on your team (or elsewhere) who are connected with purpose and meaning themselves to get annoyed by your lack of connection. This is especially true if they’re working hard, but their efforts aren’t being recognized by anything other than the loudest person in the room (ahem).

    Conclusion

    You need to be confident in your work and know that someone is backing you up. This will help increase your productivity as well as make you feel more satisfied with what you’re doing on a daily basis. If this sounds familiar, try reaching out to someone who can support you throughout the day – whether it’s family or friends or even just talking about how stressful things have been recently!

    Grace and Peace fam

    Keep an eye out for this video to be released soon.

    Dean

  • What does it mean to be successful?

    What does it mean to be successful?

    As you go through your day, it’s important to ask yourself what it is that you truly want out of this world and out of your life. Is it success and prosperity? Is it happiness and fulfillment? Whatever it may be, it’s essential to take some time to reflect on these desires and consider how they align with your values and goals.

    PLEASE remember, this is the only life you have, and it’s up to you to make the most of it. I mean as I type that it sounds so stupid, obviously this is my only life Dean, DUH! But… When you wake up in the morning, take a moment to think about what it is that you want to achieve that day. Are there any specific goals or tasks that you want to accomplish? As you go about your day, keep these desires at the forefront of your mind and strive to work towards them with determination and purpose.

    “This is your life, are you who you want to be?” – Jon Foreman

    As you interact with your friends and loved ones, consider what it is that you want from these relationships. Do you want to build strong, lasting connections with those around you? Do you want to support and encourage one another as you work towards your individual goals? These are important questions to ask as you navigate your social interactions and cultivate the relationships that matter most to you.

    Finally, as you lay down to sleep at night, take a moment to reflect on the day that has passed and consider what it is that you really want from your life as a whole. Do you want to make a positive impact on the world around you? Do you want to achieve personal and professional success? Whatever it may be, it’s important to hold onto these desires and work towards them with passion and purpose.

    So, ask yourself: what do you really want from your life? This is your chance to chase after your dreams and make them a reality. Don’t let this opportunity slip away. Do you want to be successful? Then go out and make it happen! With hard work, dedication, and a clear vision of what it is you want to achieve, you can make your dreams a reality and live a fulfilling, meaningful life.

    BUT WHAT IS SUCCESS?

    Success is a multifaceted concept that can be difficult to define, but at its core, it is about finding and fulfilling your purpose in life. It is about constantly striving to grow and reach your maximum potential, not just in terms of career or financial success, but in all aspects of your life. Success is also about making a positive impact on the world around you, by planting seeds that benefit others.

    To truly achieve success, it is important to first identify what your purpose is. This can be a challenging process, and may involve some introspection and self-discovery. It may involve asking yourself what truly matters to you and what you are passionate about. It may also involve identifying your strengths and areas for improvement, and finding ways to use those skills and talents to make a difference in the world. Some questions later on that…

    Identifying your purpose in life can be a challenging process, and may involve some introspection and self-discovery, but like a Mark Twain once said “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” 

    It is about figuring out what truly matters to you and what you are passionate about. This may involve looking back on your past experiences and asking yourself what has brought you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. It may also involve looking ahead and thinking about what you want to accomplish and the impact you want to make in the world.

    To identify your purpose, it may be helpful to ask yourself some questions, such as:

    • What do I love doing?
    • What are my values and what is important to me?
    • What skills and talents do I have that I can use to make a positive difference in the world?
    • What are my goals and aspirations?
    • What makes me happy and fulfilled?
    • What “seeds” could I plant that could benefit others (more on this in a later video)

    It may also be helpful to seek guidance and advice from others, such as friends, family, mentors, or therapists. They may be able to offer valuable insights and perspectives that can help you clarify your purpose.

    Once you have identified your purpose, it is important to set goals and work towards them. This may involve setting short-term and long-term goals, and taking small steps towards achieving them. It may also involve seeking out opportunities for growth and learning, such as through education, training, or new experiences. By setting goals and working towards them, you can stay motivated and focused on your purpose, and make progress towards achieving your aspirations.

    As you work towards your goals and grow as an individual, it is also important to remember the importance of planting seeds that benefit others. This can take many forms, such as volunteering your time, making charitable donations, or simply being kind and compassionate towards those around you. Even by planting a seed of an idea for a friend could be incredibly meaningful to them.

    “Can I plant a seed?” – DC

    By helping others and giving back to your community, you can make a positive impact on the world and contribute to the greater good.

    What is success? What does it even mean to be successful? My parents would have different answers, their parents would also have completely different answers, for me, success is about knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and planting seeds that benefit others. By focusing on these key areas, you can create a meaningful and fulfilling life that is rich in purpose and impact, and hey, it might even make you and your people, happy.

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • How can I learn from my past to benefit my future?

    How can I learn from my past to benefit my future?

    John C Maxwell once said, “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” I’m not gonna tell John what to do but I’d obviously add “woman” there…

    Being a stand-up guy means owning up to your mistakes. We all make them, it’s just part of being human. But it takes a certain kind of strength to admit when you’re wrong and to try to learn from it. It takes a certain kind of intelligence, too. After all, if you’re not smart enough to see where you went wrong, how are you going to avoid making the same mistake again in the future?

    Admitting that you’ve made a mistake can be tough, especially if it’s a mistake that has had significant consequences or caused harm to others, friends or family. It takes a certain kind of strength and character to be able to look at yourself honestly and admit when you’ve messed up. But it’s not just about admitting the mistake – it’s also about learning from it.

    One way to profit from your mistakes is to take some time to reflect on what went wrong and why. What led you to make the mistake in the first place? Were there warning signs that you ignored or didn’t pay attention to? What can you do differently in the future to avoid making the same mistake again? These are all important questions to ask yourself as you try to learn from your mistakes.

    Another way to profit from your mistakes is to seek out the advice and guidance of others. Maybe you made a mistake in your personal life and could benefit from the perspective of a trusted friend or family member. Or maybe you made a mistake at work and could use the guidance of a mentor or supervisor. Whatever the case may be, seeking out the advice of others can help you gain a new perspective on your mistake and figure out how to move forward in a positive way.

    Finally, it’s important to remember that admitting and learning from your mistakes is just the first step. In order to truly profit from your mistakes, you need to have the strength and determination to actually correct them. This might mean making amends with someone you’ve hurt, changing certain behaviors or habits, or even starting a new project or venture in an effort to right the wrongs of the past. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to correct the mistakes we’ve made, but it’s an essential part of the process of learning and growing as a person.

    In short, admitting your mistakes and learning from them is just the beginning. It takes real strength and determination to actually correct the mistakes we’ve made and move forward in a positive direction. But with the right attitude and approach, it’s possible to turn even the biggest mistakes into valuable learning experiences that help us grow and improve as individuals.

    So, to sum it up: being a man (or a woman, for that matter LOL) means having the courage to admit your mistakes, the brains to learn from them, and the strength to correct them. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. After all, we all make mistakes, but it’s how we handle them that really defines us as people. So, be big enough to admit your mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.

    • So husbands, go say sorry to your partners
    • Moms go say sorry to your kids
    • Teachers go say sorry to your pupils
    • Friends go say sorry to each other
    • Maybe today, you gotta say sorry to yourself? Forgive yourself? and figure out how to make the next necessary steps?
    • Make that phone call
    • text that friends
    • Mend that fence

    Maybe a closing mantra, “forgive me, as I forgive others…”

    Grace and Peace

    D

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  • Why is it important to slow down in our daily lives?

    Why is it important to slow down in our daily lives?

    Hey hey! Have you ever noticed how the sound of your phone pinging can make you feel? Well, I recently found out that I have stress and anxiety-induced clinical depression. Fun, right? But one thing that has really helped me is turning off all notifications on my phone. They can make me feel so rushed, like I have to be somewhere all the time. It’s overwhelming and can contribute to my anxiety.

    It’s funny how something as small as phone notifications can have such a big impact on our mood and overall well-being. But it’s true. We live in a world where we’re constantly connected, and it can be tough to disconnect and give ourselves a break. But it’s important to do so, especially if you’re struggling with stress or anxiety.

    So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the constant pinging of your phone, consider turning off those notifications. Take some time for yourself and give your mind a break. It might just make a huge difference in how you feel.

    In today’s fast-paced world, it can be easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. Faster internet, faster food, faster cars, faster deliveries, getting to and from faster is what’s more important and just merely fast fast fast! We’re constantly bombarded with stimuli – notifications on our phones, emails, social media updates, and the never-ending to-do lists that seem to pile up. It can feel like we’re constantly running on a hamster wheel, trying to keep up with everything that’s going on around us.

    But here’s the thing: it’s more important than ever before to slow down and take a step back. Here’s why.

    First and foremost, slowing down can help us be more productive. When we’re constantly rushing from one task to the next, it’s easy to make mistakes or overlook important details. By taking the time to slow down and focus on one thing at a time, we can actually be more efficient and get more done.

    In addition to being more productive, slowing down can also help us be more present and mindful. When we’re moving at a million miles an hour, it’s easy to get lost in our own thoughts and miss out on what’s happening in the present moment. By slowing down, we can be more aware of our surroundings and the people around us, which can help us form deeper connections and appreciate the beauty in life’s little moments.

    Slowing down can have significant benefits for both our physical and mental well-being. When we are constantly on the go, our bodies and minds can become strained and overwhelmed, which can lead to a range of health issues such as high blood pressure, difficulty sleeping, and even depression. However, by taking the time to slow down and relax, we allow our bodies and minds to rest and rejuvenate.

    Being constantly in a state of high stress can take a toll on our bodies. When we are under stress, our bodies produce hormones such as cortisol, which can have negative effects on our health. High levels of cortisol in the body have been linked to increased blood pressure, weight gain, and a higher risk of heart disease. Additionally, stress can affect our sleep patterns, leading to difficulty falling and staying asleep.

    Mental health is also impacted by the fast-paced nature of our modern lives. When we are constantly on the go, our minds can become overwhelmed, leading to feelings of anxiety and depression. Taking time to slow down and relax can help to reduce stress and improve mental health.

    By setting aside time to relax and unwind, we can give our bodies and minds the chance to rest and restore themselves. This can involve activities such as meditation, yoga, or simply taking a walk in nature. By taking the time to slow down and prioritize our own well-being, we can improve our overall emotional health.

    But perhaps the biggest reason to slow down is because it can help us find a sense of balance and happiness in our lives. When we’re always going at breakneck speed, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s truly important and what brings us joy. By slowing down, we can take the time to reflect on our values and priorities and make sure that we’re aligning our actions with what truly matters to us.

    So, how can you slow down in this fast-paced world? Here are a few tips:

    • Set aside some time each day to disconnect from technology and just be present. This could be as simple as taking a walk in nature or sitting in a quiet space and just taking some deep breaths.
    • Practice mindfulness meditation or other forms of mindfulness, such as journaling or coloring. These activities can help you focus on the present moment and find some peace and tranquility.
    • Make a conscious effort to simplify your life. This could mean decluttering your home, streamlining your schedule, or letting go of activities or obligations that don’t bring you joy.
    • Take breaks and give yourself permission to relax. It’s okay to take a break from work or other responsibilities and just do something that brings you joy.

    Slowing down might not come naturally in a world that values productivity and speed, but it’s so worth it. By taking the time to slow down and be more present, we can be more productive, healthier, and happier. So go ahead, take a deep breath, and remember to slow down once in a while. You’ll be glad you did.

    Take a deep breathe. Take a moment. Slow down a little. It’ll all be ok.

    Grace and peace

    Dean

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  • What Social Media platforms “should” my church be on?

    What Social Media platforms “should” my church be on?

    We’ve all be asked this question and it’s not always so easily clear cut, but I’m gonna try make it real easy to start with and then we gonna go from there…

    The five most important social media platforms for a church will depend on the specific goals and target audience of the church. Here are five popular social media platforms that many churches find useful:

    1. Facebook: With over 2.7 billion monthly active users, Facebook is the largest and most widely used social media platform. It’s a good choice for churches looking to connect with a broad audience and share updates about events and activities.
    2. Instagram: Instagram is a visually-focused platform that is popular with younger audiences (I’m not even gonna address TIKTOK in this article, it’s coming… It’s a good choice for churches looking to share visually appealing content and engage with followers.
    3. YouTube: YouTube is the largest video-sharing platform and is a good choice for churches looking to share video content, such as sermons or worship services.
    4. Twitter: Twitter is a fast-paced platform that allows churches to share short updates and engage with followers in real-time.
    5. Church-specific platforms: There are also several social media platforms that are specifically designed for churches such as Church Online, BibleApp, ChurchLink and ChurchLink App. These platforms allow churches to connect with members and share updates, prayer requests, and other information in a very simple user friendly way.

    Again, the most important social media platforms for a church will depend on the specific goals and target audience of the church. It’s often helpful to start by focusing on a few key platforms and then expand as needed.

    Who is the person you’re imagining when creating your social media post?

    There are several ways to determine your church’s target audience online:

    1. Analyze your existing social media followers: Look at the demographics of the people who are already following your church’s social media accounts. This can give you an idea of who is most interested in your church and what types of content they engage with.
    2. Look at your church’s website traffic: Use tools like Google Analytics to see who is visiting your church’s website and where they’re coming from. This can help you understand the age, gender, and geographic location of your church’s online audience.
    3. Conduct a survey: Consider conducting a survey to ask your church members and followers about their demographics and online habits. This can help you get a better understanding of your target audience.
    4. Analyze your local community: Consider the demographics of the community your church serves. This can give you an idea of the age, gender, and geographic location of your target audience.
    5. Research your “competition”: Hahaha, you know what I mean… Look at the social media accounts of other churches in your area to see who they are targeting and how they are reaching their audience.

    By gathering this information, you can get a better understanding of your church’s target audience online and tailor your social media strategy to reach them more effectively. Please email dean@deancothill.co.za for further questions and would love to join you and your community on this new digital road for church…

    Stay tuned for more daily articles on Sunday Social Sessions with Dean Cothill…

  • What is burnout even?

    What is burnout even?

    Ever wondered why we are all so tired all the time? Why it seems like we can’t ever get enough sleep, like a 4 hour nights sleeps makes us feel like the same as 10 hours.

    Burn-out, a lot like field fires, isn’t exactly something I ever actively thought about never mind something I ever thought I would go through. Never in my life did I think I would be on medication and ANTI-DEPRESSANTS to name a few.

    A few years back we had a wild fire spread across the Garden Route and Nelson Mandela Bay Area here in South Africa. Homes were lost, people lost everything and fire fighters did everything in their power to stop the speed at which the fire was moving, but sometimes, even when you can smell the fire a mile away, you just simply can’t do anything to stop what’s happening…

    So what is burnout/stress/fatigue even and how does this stuff happen?

    “Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

    • feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;
    • increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and
    • reduced professional efficacy.

    Burn-out refers specifically to phenomena in the occupational context and should not be applied to describe experiences in other areas of life.”

    For me, its was and is like a wild fire…

    So on some windy days around here you can smell a fire miles off. There is a fire somewhere in the area and you can smell burning grass. Thats how it happened to me, that’s how I got really badly burnt.

    When the wind blows in a particular direction you can smell the fire that’s a long way off, then when the wind dies down, the smell eventually subsides and you kinda carry on with your day. The air still kinda smells and your clothes might even be affected about you move on quite quickly.

    There are moments in your week, that have an affect on you, you take a couple hits, things and people hurt you little, there is an argument or two, but you shrug it off, have a glass of wine with two Panado’s and you carry on. You body is still carrying some of the things from that week, still carrying some of the memories of those moments.

    Then there are some days that although there may be a fire, you find yourself upwind, so you don’t actually smell anything, you don’t notice anything, you don’t actually take a moment to check if everything is ok, cause, well you’re ok, right? But a friend tells you a story about something that happened, you see something on YouTube or you bump into an ex or friend that has memory attached it.

    It’s not that it’s JUST a place of work, people or a person, or even past experiences that sneak up and remind you of hurts or trauma’s. I am who I am, you are who you are. We are all human and we are actually all in this together. But on some days, some days the wind really blows and all the conditions for a raging uncontrollable fire line up.

    So on some days, the wind blows, the wind really blows, it’s a hot day and everything begins to move the fire in your direction. You smell the smoke and eventually you start seeing the smoke and at that point, there is absolutely nothing you can do, AND there is nothing you could’ve done to prepare you for the moment and no amount of water in the world is going to slow this all down.

    Recognizing the signs of burnout.

    There are many potential warning signs of depression, and they can vary from person to person. Some common signs and symptoms of depression include:

    1. Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or emptiness
    2. Loss of interest in activities that were previously enjoyed
    3. Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
    4. Insomnia or oversleeping
    5. Changes in appetite and/or weight
    6. Loss of energy and fatigue
    7. Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
    8. Difficulty functioning at work, school, or in social situations
    9. Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicidal behavior

    It’s important to note that experiencing one or more of these symptoms does not necessarily mean that someone is depressed. However, if you are experiencing several of these symptoms and they are interfering with your daily life, it’s a good idea to speak with a mental health professional for an evaluation.

    So stay with me on wild fires for a moment…

    Wildfires can be dangerous for a number of reasons. One of the main reasons is the intense heat and flames that can cause serious burns and injuries. Wildfires can also produce large amounts of smoke, which can be harmful to breathe and can cause respiratory issues. In addition, the smoke from a wildfire can reduce visibility, making it difficult to see and navigate. Have you been in a situation like this or have you met people like this?

    Another danger of wildfires is that they can cause damage to homes and other structures. Wildfires can spread quickly and can destroy homes, buildings, and other infrastructure in their path. They can also disrupt utilities, such as electricity and water, and make it difficult for people to evacuate safely. Have you been in a situation like this or have you met people like this?

    Finally, wildfires can have a major impact on the environment. They can destroy wildlife habitats and kill or injure wildlife. Wildfires can also release large amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, contributing to climate change. Have you been in a situation like this or have you met people like this?

    Overall, wildfires can be very dangerous and have a range of impacts on people, communities, and the environment. It is important to take steps to prevent wildfires and to follow evacuation orders and other safety guidelines if a wildfire does occur. Have you been in a situation like this or have you met people like this?

    Where to from here?

    Recovering from burnout or depression can be a challenging process, and it is important to prioritize your physical and mental health. Here are a few tips that may help:

    1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor. They can help you identify the causes of your burnout or depression and develop a treatment plan.
    2. Take care of your physical health: Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising regularly. These activities can help improve your mood and reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.
    3. Practice stress management techniques: There are many stress management techniques that can help you cope with burnout or depression, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga. Find what works best for you and make it a regular part of your routine.
    4. Set boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries with your work and other commitments to ensure that you are not overextending yourself. Take breaks when you need them, and don’t be afraid to say no to tasks or activities that may be overwhelming.
    5. Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a support group about what you are going through. It can be helpful to have a strong support system to lean on during this time.

    Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and to take the time you need to recover. It may be a long and difficult process, but with the right support and self-care, it is possible to overcome burnout and depression.

    Do we need more space?

    People who are suffering from mental or emotional health “issues” don’t need “space”. Thoughts can be dark places and it’s impossible to get through them alone. Isolation and loneliness is a killer. It’s haunting.Message your friends, tell them you love them, tell them you value them, tell them want and need them around in the world and that there presence matters. Tell them that when they are ready to try brave the world again and put pants on to leave the house, you’ll be there ready to hold their hand and take it one step at a time. Tell them you love them again and that you really really mean it.