Dean Cothill

Tag: emotional equity

  • What is the difference between “holding space” and “giving space” to/for someone…

    What is the difference between “holding space” and “giving space” to/for someone…

    Holding space for someone and giving someone space are two distinct concepts that are often conflated or used interchangeably, but they have significant differences in their meanings and implications on relationships. Here I want to explore these ideas like one would a forest, slowly and gently, watching where we step as to try and see the difference between these two terms and how they can be used effectively in our relationships and communication.

    Holding Space VS Giving Space

    First, let’s define each term. “Holding space” refers to the act of being present with someone in a non-judgmental and supportive way, without trying to fix or change their experience or emotions. (Men I know this seems impossible and that we want to FIX FIX FIX). It involves actively listening, offering empathy and understanding, and providing a safe and caring environment for the other person to process their feelings and thoughts. “Giving someone space,” on the other hand, means allowing that person the physical or emotional distance they need to deal with their own issues or feelings without interference or pressure. It can involve taking a step back and allowing the other person to have some solitude, or it can mean giving them the time and freedom to work through their emotions on their own. For some, this can be a very lonely and isolating experience. This is why it is so key for us to understand and see the difference in approaches here.

    Now that we have a basic understanding of the two concepts, let’s explore the differences between them in more detail.

    One key difference between holding space

    One key difference between holding space and giving someone space is the level of involvement and engagement. When you hold space for someone, you are actively present and engaged with that person, offering support and understanding as they navigate their emotions. You are not trying to solve their problems or fix their feelings, but rather you are simply there to be a supportive and caring presence. THATS IT. On the other hand, when you give someone space, you are taking a step back and allowing that person the freedom and independence to work through their own issues. You may still be available for support and communication, sending message every once in a while, but you are not as actively involved in their emotional process.

    Another difference between holding space and giving someone space is the level of emotional connection and intimacy. Holding space for someone involves creating a deep and meaningful connection with that person, where you are able to offer genuine empathy and understanding. This requires vulnerability and a willingness to be emotionally open and present with the other person. Giving someone space, on the other hand, involves allowing that person the freedom and independence to deal with their own emotions without interference. It may involve less emotional intimacy and connection, as you are not as actively involved in their emotional process. Here it is also important to take note of whether someone said “they need space” or if you have decided to just “give them space”…

    Finally, the timing and context of holding space and giving someone space can also be different. Holding space is typically done in the moment, as a way of being present and supportive with someone who is struggling or dealing with difficult emotions. It is often used as a way of offering comfort and support in the face of adversity or crisis. Giving someone space, on the other hand, may be more appropriate in situations where the other person needs some time and distance to work through their own issues or emotions. It may involve taking a step back and allowing the other person some solitude (loneliness and solitude are two things not to be confused) or independence, in order to give them the time and space they need to process their feelings. (Once again, depending on who initiated which course of action).

    The place of EMPATHY and VULNERABILITY…

    In friendships, empathy and vulnerability are key ingredients that help to foster deep and meaningful connections. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, and it allows us to connect with others on a deeper level by putting ourselves in their shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. Vulnerability, on the other hand, involves being open and authentic with others, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences even when it may be difficult or uncomfortable.

    Both empathy and vulnerability are essential for building and maintaining strong and healthy friendships. Without empathy, it can be difficult to fully understand and support our friends, and we may struggle to connect with them on a deeper level. Without vulnerability, we may not feel comfortable opening up and sharing our true selves with others, which can prevent us from building meaningful and authentic relationships.

    By cultivating empathy and vulnerability in our friendships, we can create safe and supportive environments where we can be honest and open with each other, and where we can offer genuine support and understanding to those we care about. Whether we are dealing with joy or sadness, success or failure, by embracing empathy and vulnerability, we can create friendships that are based on genuine connection and support.

    So, for me coming out of some dark places and having to fight some memories that have turned into monsters, I really hope this distinction helps someone. I think the main difference between holding space and giving someone space is the level of involvement and engagement, the level of emotional connection and intimacy, and the timing and context in which they are used. Holding space involves being present and engaged with someone in a supportive and caring way, while giving someone space involves allowing that person the freedom and independence to work through their own issues and emotions. Both can be valuable and important in different situations, and understanding the distinction between them can help us navigate relationships and communication more effectively.

    Let’s keep in touch

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • New year, same old me?

    New year, same old me?

    As the year comes to a close and we look towards the new year, it is natural to start thinking about the goals and resolutions we want to set for ourselves. However, it is unfortunate that for many people, the time and effort put into setting these goals often goes to waste. Studies have shown that up to 92% of New Year’s resolutions fail, leading some to wonder if it is even worth the effort. But before we give up on goal setting entirely, it is important to understand why resolutions and goals often fail, and what we can do to increase our chances of success.

    Do more than just write it down…

    One of the main reasons why resolutions and goals fail is that people often don’t go beyond just writing them down. The act of writing down a goal or resolution is certainly a good first step, but it is not enough on its own. Without a plan or a process in place to actually achieve the goal, it becomes nothing more than an intention. For example, hoping to see your church grow without a plan for how to make that happen is simply a hope, and intending to lose weight without a plan for how to do so is just an intention. In both cases, the goal remains nothing more than a wish. Tell some friends, make yourself accountable, post it online and ask your friends to CHECK-IN on you…

    Clear, simple, GOALS?

    STOP for a second here, what’s on the LIST for January? Just January…

    Another reason that resolutions and goals often fail is that people don’t have a clear understanding of what they want to achieve. It is important to be specific and realistic when setting goals. Vague or overly ambitious goals are much less likely to be achieved than specific, achievable goals. For example, a goal of “losing weight” is vague and doesn’t provide any direction or motivation. On the other hand, a goal of “losing 10 pounds in three months by exercising three times a week and eating a healthier diet” is specific and provides a clear plan for how to achieve it.

    So go month by month, then term by term, then year by year.

    Are your goals “YOUR” goals?

    In addition to being specific and having a plan, it is important to consider whether a goal is actually important to you. If a goal is not something that you truly care about, it is much less likely that you will have the motivation and dedication to see it through. It is important to set goals that are meaningful and align with your values and priorities.

    Outcome-driven goals, or goals that are focused on the end result, can be motivating in the short term. However, in the long run, process-driven goals, or goals that focus on the steps and actions required to achieve a goal, tend to produce better results. For example, a financial goal of saving R500 per month is a better goal than hoping to see your investments grow by 15%. See goals like planting trees, allow the growth to happen, water the soil, a couple years pass and then you’re actually eating the fruit of those trees, your children are sitting under the shade of those trees and your grand children are now running the farms selling the fruit to neighbouring towns. My goals definitely have my kids in mind, and my kids’ kids.

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • Where do you turn when things get overwhelming? (Part 1)

    Where do you turn when things get overwhelming? (Part 1)

    Physical exercise is important for people who have high stress jobs or work environments for a number of reasons. I love morning runs on the beach or the road, Sardinia Bay is my absolute BEST! Sunset walks with the family at Sacramento is also just the best, sand and sea water between our toes. Then also love Gym at Virgin, and recently getting back into CrossFit with my friend Jeremy at Lion’s Bay. Main thing for me as a “HEART” person, is it allows me to FEEL my BODY. (More about this in a later post)…

    These things have become daily routines for me and have had massive positive impacts on my emotional well being, as a husband, as a dad and as a friend.

    Why even exercise?

    First and foremost, physical exercise has been shown to have a positive effect on mental health. When we engage in physical activity, our bodies release endorphins, which are chemicals that act as natural painkillers and mood elevators. This can help to reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression, and can also improve overall well-being and sense of happiness.

    In addition to its mental health benefits, physical exercise has also been shown to have a positive impact on physical health. Regular physical activity can help to reduce the risk of chronic conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity, and can also help to improve sleep quality and overall energy levels.

    Furthermore, physical exercise can also be a useful tool for managing stress in the workplace. Engaging in physical activity can provide an outlet for stress and can help to clear the mind, allowing individuals to approach their work with a greater sense of focus and clarity. In addition, the social aspect of physical exercise can also be beneficial, as it can provide an opportunity for individuals to connect with others and build supportive relationships that can be helpful in managing the demands of a high stress job or work environment.

    Overall, the benefits of physical exercise for individuals with high stress jobs or work environments are numerous and varied. By improving mental and physical health, managing stress, and providing social support, physical exercise can help individuals to better cope with the demands of their work and lead happier, healthier lives.

  • Stand your sacred ground…

    Stand your sacred ground…

    Brené Brown, a well-known researcher and author, has a mantra that she believes can help people be more authentic: “Don’t Shrink, Don’t Puff Up, Stand Your Sacred Ground.” Essentially, this means that when we are faced with situations that cause us to feel vulnerable, we tend to either shrink away or puff ourselves up in order to protect ourselves. However, Brown suggests that instead of resorting to these knee-jerk reactions, we should stand our ground and be true to ourselves.

    Now lets try something, MEN struggle with vulnerability than women right?

    It is not accurate to say that men generally struggle with vulnerability more than women. Vulnerability can be a challenging experience for people of all genders (and non-genders – I know and I am sorry), and there are many factors that can influence an individual’s ability to be vulnerable.

    One possible reason that men may struggle with vulnerability more than women is that traditional gender roles often dictate that men should be strong and self-sufficient, while women are expected to be emotional and nurturing. These societal expectations can make it more difficult for men to express vulnerability, as it may be seen as a sign of weakness.

    However, it is important to note that these gender roles are culturally constructed and not inherent to men or women. Additionally, individual differences and personal experiences can also play a role in how comfortable someone is with vulnerability. Some people may have had positive experiences with vulnerability and find it easier to be open and honest, while others may have had negative experiences and may be more hesitant to be vulnerable.

    It is important to recognize that vulnerability is a natural and necessary part of human connection, and that everyone can benefit from being able to express their thoughts and feelings in a safe and supportive environment.

    But why do we shrink or puff up in the first place? It’s often a natural response to adversity, as it’s a way to protect ourselves from shame, fear, and vulnerability. When we feel threatened or judged, we might shrink away, hiding or self-deprecating in order to avoid further harm. On the other hand, when we feel insecure, we might puff ourselves up, grandstanding or bullying in order to feel more in control. As kids, we have built up certain mechanisms to protect ourselves and many of us adults, as still using the same strategies.

    But what’s the alternative? According to Brown, the key is to stand your sacred ground. This means being true to yourself and not letting others push you around or make you feel small. It’s about standing up for what you believe in and not being afraid to show your true self, even in the face of adversity.

    So how do we do this? One key is to recognize when we are shrinking or puffing up, and to try to understand why. For example, if someone makes us feel small, we might ask ourselves what insecurities are being triggered and how we can address them. Similarly, if we find ourselves puffing up in order to feel more in control, we might try to understand what is causing that insecurity and find healthier ways to cope.

    Take a moment to PAUSE here. READ THAT AGAIN!

    It’s also important to remember that we all have the ability to make others shrink or puff up, either intentionally or unintentionally. It’s worth taking the time to reflect on our own actions and how they might impact others. Do we recognize when we are making others feel small, and do we try to stop it? Do we learn from our mistakes and try to do better in the future?

    Ultimately, the key to standing your sacred ground is to be true to yourself and not let others define you. It’s about being confident in who you are and not letting fear or insecurity hold you back. So the next time you find yourself faced with adversity, remember Brené Brown’s mantra: “Don’t Shrink, Don’t Puff Up, Stand Your Sacred Ground.” Keep an eye out for another post coming soon around Moses and the Holy Ground he found himself on.

    Grace and Peace

    D.

  • What does it mean to be successful?

    What does it mean to be successful?

    As you go through your day, it’s important to ask yourself what it is that you truly want out of this world and out of your life. Is it success and prosperity? Is it happiness and fulfillment? Whatever it may be, it’s essential to take some time to reflect on these desires and consider how they align with your values and goals.

    PLEASE remember, this is the only life you have, and it’s up to you to make the most of it. I mean as I type that it sounds so stupid, obviously this is my only life Dean, DUH! But… When you wake up in the morning, take a moment to think about what it is that you want to achieve that day. Are there any specific goals or tasks that you want to accomplish? As you go about your day, keep these desires at the forefront of your mind and strive to work towards them with determination and purpose.

    “This is your life, are you who you want to be?” – Jon Foreman

    As you interact with your friends and loved ones, consider what it is that you want from these relationships. Do you want to build strong, lasting connections with those around you? Do you want to support and encourage one another as you work towards your individual goals? These are important questions to ask as you navigate your social interactions and cultivate the relationships that matter most to you.

    Finally, as you lay down to sleep at night, take a moment to reflect on the day that has passed and consider what it is that you really want from your life as a whole. Do you want to make a positive impact on the world around you? Do you want to achieve personal and professional success? Whatever it may be, it’s important to hold onto these desires and work towards them with passion and purpose.

    So, ask yourself: what do you really want from your life? This is your chance to chase after your dreams and make them a reality. Don’t let this opportunity slip away. Do you want to be successful? Then go out and make it happen! With hard work, dedication, and a clear vision of what it is you want to achieve, you can make your dreams a reality and live a fulfilling, meaningful life.

    BUT WHAT IS SUCCESS?

    Success is a multifaceted concept that can be difficult to define, but at its core, it is about finding and fulfilling your purpose in life. It is about constantly striving to grow and reach your maximum potential, not just in terms of career or financial success, but in all aspects of your life. Success is also about making a positive impact on the world around you, by planting seeds that benefit others.

    To truly achieve success, it is important to first identify what your purpose is. This can be a challenging process, and may involve some introspection and self-discovery. It may involve asking yourself what truly matters to you and what you are passionate about. It may also involve identifying your strengths and areas for improvement, and finding ways to use those skills and talents to make a difference in the world. Some questions later on that…

    Identifying your purpose in life can be a challenging process, and may involve some introspection and self-discovery, but like a Mark Twain once said “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” 

    It is about figuring out what truly matters to you and what you are passionate about. This may involve looking back on your past experiences and asking yourself what has brought you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose. It may also involve looking ahead and thinking about what you want to accomplish and the impact you want to make in the world.

    To identify your purpose, it may be helpful to ask yourself some questions, such as:

    • What do I love doing?
    • What are my values and what is important to me?
    • What skills and talents do I have that I can use to make a positive difference in the world?
    • What are my goals and aspirations?
    • What makes me happy and fulfilled?
    • What “seeds” could I plant that could benefit others (more on this in a later video)

    It may also be helpful to seek guidance and advice from others, such as friends, family, mentors, or therapists. They may be able to offer valuable insights and perspectives that can help you clarify your purpose.

    Once you have identified your purpose, it is important to set goals and work towards them. This may involve setting short-term and long-term goals, and taking small steps towards achieving them. It may also involve seeking out opportunities for growth and learning, such as through education, training, or new experiences. By setting goals and working towards them, you can stay motivated and focused on your purpose, and make progress towards achieving your aspirations.

    As you work towards your goals and grow as an individual, it is also important to remember the importance of planting seeds that benefit others. This can take many forms, such as volunteering your time, making charitable donations, or simply being kind and compassionate towards those around you. Even by planting a seed of an idea for a friend could be incredibly meaningful to them.

    “Can I plant a seed?” – DC

    By helping others and giving back to your community, you can make a positive impact on the world and contribute to the greater good.

    What is success? What does it even mean to be successful? My parents would have different answers, their parents would also have completely different answers, for me, success is about knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and planting seeds that benefit others. By focusing on these key areas, you can create a meaningful and fulfilling life that is rich in purpose and impact, and hey, it might even make you and your people, happy.

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • How can I learn from my past to benefit my future?

    How can I learn from my past to benefit my future?

    John C Maxwell once said, “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” I’m not gonna tell John what to do but I’d obviously add “woman” there…

    Being a stand-up guy means owning up to your mistakes. We all make them, it’s just part of being human. But it takes a certain kind of strength to admit when you’re wrong and to try to learn from it. It takes a certain kind of intelligence, too. After all, if you’re not smart enough to see where you went wrong, how are you going to avoid making the same mistake again in the future?

    Admitting that you’ve made a mistake can be tough, especially if it’s a mistake that has had significant consequences or caused harm to others, friends or family. It takes a certain kind of strength and character to be able to look at yourself honestly and admit when you’ve messed up. But it’s not just about admitting the mistake – it’s also about learning from it.

    One way to profit from your mistakes is to take some time to reflect on what went wrong and why. What led you to make the mistake in the first place? Were there warning signs that you ignored or didn’t pay attention to? What can you do differently in the future to avoid making the same mistake again? These are all important questions to ask yourself as you try to learn from your mistakes.

    Another way to profit from your mistakes is to seek out the advice and guidance of others. Maybe you made a mistake in your personal life and could benefit from the perspective of a trusted friend or family member. Or maybe you made a mistake at work and could use the guidance of a mentor or supervisor. Whatever the case may be, seeking out the advice of others can help you gain a new perspective on your mistake and figure out how to move forward in a positive way.

    Finally, it’s important to remember that admitting and learning from your mistakes is just the first step. In order to truly profit from your mistakes, you need to have the strength and determination to actually correct them. This might mean making amends with someone you’ve hurt, changing certain behaviors or habits, or even starting a new project or venture in an effort to right the wrongs of the past. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to correct the mistakes we’ve made, but it’s an essential part of the process of learning and growing as a person.

    In short, admitting your mistakes and learning from them is just the beginning. It takes real strength and determination to actually correct the mistakes we’ve made and move forward in a positive direction. But with the right attitude and approach, it’s possible to turn even the biggest mistakes into valuable learning experiences that help us grow and improve as individuals.

    So, to sum it up: being a man (or a woman, for that matter LOL) means having the courage to admit your mistakes, the brains to learn from them, and the strength to correct them. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. After all, we all make mistakes, but it’s how we handle them that really defines us as people. So, be big enough to admit your mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.

    • So husbands, go say sorry to your partners
    • Moms go say sorry to your kids
    • Teachers go say sorry to your pupils
    • Friends go say sorry to each other
    • Maybe today, you gotta say sorry to yourself? Forgive yourself? and figure out how to make the next necessary steps?
    • Make that phone call
    • text that friends
    • Mend that fence

    Maybe a closing mantra, “forgive me, as I forgive others…”

    Grace and Peace

    D

  • 7 moments to a better YOU

    7 moments to a better YOU

    Hello friends, I hope you’re well and that you’re building the life that you always dreamed of. Your dollhouse dreams, your fairytale ending, its all in you and I hope you find some of that today. Here are 7 simple ideas to hopefully keep us all on the right track to becoming the best versions of ourselves.

    • Make a commitment to yourself to improve every day.

    This means that you are dedicated to learning, self-improvement, and personal development on a daily basis. It’s about setting goals for yourself and working towards them consistently, even when it’s challenging. This can involve things like learning new skills, setting aside time for personal growth activities, or seeking out opportunities to challenge yourself and stretch your abilities. By making a commitment to grow daily, you are setting yourself up for long-term success and positioning yourself for continuous learning and improvement. It’s important to remember that growth and development are ongoing processes, and making a commitment to them means that you are willing to put in the time and effort to continuously improve and evolve as a person.

    • Don’t just focus on the end result, appreciate the journey and learning along the way.

    Point 2 is about valuing the process more than the outcome or end result. This means that you recognize that the journey and the learning along the way are just as important, if not more so, than the final destination. It’s about being present in the moment and enjoying the process of working towards a goal, rather than just focusing on the end result. This can involve things like embracing challenges and setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than seeing them as failures. By valuing the process, you are able to stay motivated and engaged in your work, and you are more likely to find fulfillment and meaning in what you do. Additionally, by focusing on the process rather than the outcome, you are able to stay open to new opportunities and experiences that may arise along the way, rather than being too focused on a specific end result.

    • Don’t wait for the perfect moment to get started, just start now.

    Point 3 is about not waiting for inspiration or the perfect moment to get started on something. THERE IS NO PERFECT MOMENT! Lemme say this again, THERE IS NO MOMENT, THIS IS “IT”!

    This means that you recognize that inspiration and motivation can come and go, and that it’s important to just take action and get started, even when you don’t feel particularly inspired or motivated. By not waiting for inspiration, you are able to take control of your own progress and move forward, rather than being held back by your own lack of motivation or inspiration. This can involve things like setting small, achievable goals for yourself and working towards them consistently, or breaking larger goals down into smaller steps and tackling them one at a time. By not waiting for inspiration, you are able to stay focused and make progress towards your goals, even when you don’t feel particularly motivated. Additionally, by taking action and getting started, you may find that you become more inspired and motivated as you progress, which can help to keep you moving forward.

    • Be willing to give up short-term pleasure for long-term growth and success.

    Point 4 is about being willing to sacrifice short-term pleasure or comfort for long-term opportunity or growth. This means that you recognize that sometimes, in order to achieve your goals or reach your full potential, you may need to make sacrifices in the present.

    Having kids makes us see this, they have absolutely not patience to wait, and if we can just convince them to wait another week, its gonna be better and greater than they can imagine. Convincing my son Daniel to just wait a little longer, it’ll be worth it is half of raising him… This can involve things like giving up leisure time or activities that you enjoy in order to focus on your goals, or taking on additional responsibilities or challenges that may be uncomfortable or difficult in the short term but will ultimately help you to grow and develop in the long term. By being willing to make these sacrifices, you are able to focus on your priorities and stay committed to your goals, even when it’s not easy. It’s important to remember that these sacrifices are often temporary, and that by making them, you are positioning yourself for long-term success and growth.

    • Don’t be afraid to dream big and set high goals for yourself.

    Point 5 is about dreaming big and setting high goals for yourself. The classic, if your dreams don’t scare you, they NOT BIG ENOUGH! It means that you are not afraid to think big and aim high, and that you believe in your own ability to achieve your goals, no matter how ambitious they may be. By dreaming big, you are able to set your sights on what you really want to achieve in life, rather than settling for less. It’s important to remember that your goals don’t have to be realistic or achievable in the short term, but rather they should be something that inspires and motivates you to work towards them. By dreaming big and setting high goals, you are able to stay motivated and engaged in your work, and you are more likely to find fulfillment and meaning in what you do. Additionally, by setting big goals for yourself, you are able to push yourself to reach your full potential and achieve things that you may not have thought possible.

    “Why would you want to settle for staring at the ceiling when you were meant to stare at the stars” – DC

    • Make a plan and prioritize your tasks to ensure you stay on track.

    This is ALL about planning your priorities and organizing your tasks in order to achieve your goals. This means that you take the time to think about what is most important to you and what needs to be done in order to achieve your goals. It involves creating a plan and organizing your tasks in a way that allows you to focus on your priorities and stay on track. This can involve things like making a to-do list, setting deadlines for yourself, or using tools and techniques like time management or goal setting to help you stay organized and focused. Here I try and think in 3 stages.

    • 2 weeks
    • 6 weeks
    • 12 weeks

    Here I can see what needs to happen by the end of next week and what the next 3 months looks like. We can’t do more than that… By planning your priorities and organizing your tasks, you are able to stay focused and make progress towards your goals, rather than getting overwhelmed or sidetracked by less important tasks. PLAN and be PROACTIVE rather than being UNPLANNED and REACTIVE all the time.

    “Urgent will always trump important in any environment” – DC

    And urgent just always seems to sneak up on us and our lives. It’s important to remember that this process is ongoing and that you will need to continuously review and adjust your plan as your priorities change or new challenges arise. But thats all on you, you run your calendar, you calendar does not run you!

    1. Be willing to let go of things that are holding you back in order to move forward and reach your full potential.

    Point 7 is about being willing to let go of things that are holding you back in order to move forward and reach your full potential. This means that you recognize that sometimes, in order to grow and improve, you may need to let go of certain things that are holding you back. This can involve things like letting go of negative thoughts or beliefs that limit your potential, or letting go of relationships or situations that are no longer serving you. Are there some things that you’re still holding onto that you should have dropped years ago?Hurt or unforgiveness that are the loudest voices in your head?

    By being willing to let go, you are able to make room for new opportunities and experiences that will help you to grow and develop. It’s important to remember that letting go can be difficult, and that it may involve facing your fears or making difficult decisions. However, by being willing to let go, you are able to move forward and reach your full potential, rather than being held back by things that are no longer serving you.

    DC signing off

    Grace and peace friends,

    I hope you find what you’re looking for.

  • Leadership according to Rob Bell (No Hell)

    Leadership according to Rob Bell (No Hell)

    Firstly. Like before you even go there, don’t. Rob Bell No Hell is completely taken out of context and his book Love Wins honestly changed my life, like its up there with C.S. Lewis and Mere Christianity.

    Love wins.

    Rob is well known for his belief that the truth can be found in any religion or worldview. In his book, he discusses the controversy surrounding the Christian belief in hell as eternal, conscious torment, and suggests that this belief is misguided and toxic. He does not explicitly endorse the idea of universal reconciliation, but does argue that it is fitting and proper for Christians to hope for it. The book has been met with both criticism and support from various figures within the evangelical community, with some accusing him of promoting uncertainty and others praising him for promoting important conversations about traditional interpretations of scripture. He also challenges the idea of “evacuation theology,” which focuses on individual salvation through getting to heaven, and instead argues that Jesus and the Jewish tradition prioritize the restoration and transformation of this world. Anyway, maybe more on that a little later… First.

    Who is Rob Bell?

    Robert Holmes Bell Jr. is a well-known American author, speaker, and former pastor. He founded Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, Michigan and served as its pastor until 2012. During his time as pastor, the church was one of the fastest-growing in the United States. Bell is the author of the bestselling book Love Wins and the creator of a series of spiritual films called NOOMA. In 2011, Time magazine included him on its list of the 100 Most Influential People in the World. After leaving Mars Hill, Bell became a freelance writer and speaker, giving talks and appearing on various shows about spirituality and leadership. He also hosts a popular podcast called The Robcast. In 2018, a documentary about Bell called The Heretic was released.

    Rob Bell and Leadership?

    Leadership is a complex and multifaceted concept that can take many different forms and styles. But I believe Rob has been a notable voice on the topic of leadership. Rob is known for his thought-provoking and insightful insights on a wide range of topics, including leadership, spirituality, and personal growth. In this essay, we will explore some of the key ideas and themes that Rob has written about when it comes to leadership, and how they can be applied in our own lives.

    First and foremost, Rob emphasizes the importance of authenticity in leadership. He argues that genuine and authentic leaders are those who are true to themselves and their values, and who are able to inspire and empower others by being a genuine and relatable role model. This means that leaders should not be afraid to be vulnerable and to admit when they are wrong or uncertain, as this is often what allows them to connect with others in a meaningful way.

    At the same time, Rob also stresses the importance of courage and resilience in leadership. He argues that true leaders are those who are able to take risks and face challenges head-on, even when it is difficult or uncomfortable to do so. This requires a level of inner strength and resilience that allows leaders to stay true to their values and convictions, even in the face of opposition or setbacks.

    Another key theme that Rob writes about when it comes to leadership is the idea of service. He argues that true leaders are those who are driven by a desire to help and serve others, rather than seeking power or personal gain. This means that leaders should be focused on finding ways to make a positive impact on the world around them, and should be willing to put the needs of others ahead of their own.

    Finally, Rob also emphasizes the importance of creativity and innovation in leadership. He argues that true leaders are those who are able to think outside the box and come up with new and innovative solutions to the challenges that they face. This requires a willingness to take risks and embrace change, as well as an openness to new ideas and perspectives.

    Here is where I get really excited and know how key this is for what it means to navigate this new world we live in today, a world where the “real” meets the “unreal”.

    The final point that I made in this essay is that true leaders are those who are creative and innovative. This means that they are able to think outside the box and come up with new and creative solutions to the challenges that they face. This requires a willingness to take risks and embrace change, as well as an openness to new ideas and perspectives. (See previous post where I talk about Bezelel and Moses)

    One of the key benefits of being a creative and innovative leader is that it allows you to stay ahead of the curve and anticipate challenges that may arise in the future. By constantly seeking out new and innovative approaches to problem-solving, you can stay one step ahead and be better prepared to tackle any obstacles that come your way.

    In addition, being a creative and innovative leader can also help you to inspire and motivate others. When people see their leaders taking a proactive and forward-thinking approach to problem-solving, it can give them the confidence and motivation to do the same. This can help to create a positive and energizing work environment, where everyone feels empowered to contribute their own ideas and take an active role in driving change.

    To be a creative and innovative leader, it is important to have an open and curious mind, and to be willing to try new things and take calculated risks. This may require stepping out of your comfort zone and being willing to challenge the status quo. However, the rewards of being a creative and innovative leader can be significant, both for you and for the people that you lead. By embracing this aspect of leadership, you can help to create a dynamic and forward-thinking culture that is able to adapt and thrive in an ever-changing world.

    Overall, the leadership style of Rob Bell is characterized by authenticity, courage, resilience, a focus on service, and a commitment to creativity and innovation. By embracing these qualities, we can all strive to be better leaders in our own lives, and make a positive impact on the world around us. So, we should always try to be a good leader and a role model for others.

    From little old me, Dean, in a small town in South Africa called PE, I wanna say thank you Rob. Love you man.

    Grace and Peace

    Dean