Dean Cothill

Tag: limited resources in churches

  • The Content Creation Process Made easy

    The Content Creation Process Made easy

    If you’re reading this, chances are you’re someone who is interested in creating content – whether it be for a blog, social media, or any other platform. And if you’re like me, you may have found the process of coming up with ideas, organizing them, and then actually putting them into words or pictures or video or music, to be a bit overwhelming at times, especially when there is a deadline at hand. New Years. Christmas. Easter and everyone in-between.

    But fear not, my friend, because I am here to tell you that the content creation process doesn’t have to be so daunting. In fact, it can be downright enjoyable (yes, you read that right). ENJOYABLE!

    Over the years, I have learned a thing or two about how to make the process of creating content more manageable, and I am excited to share those tips with you today.

    First and foremost, it’s important to remember that the content creation process is just that – a process. It’s not something that happens overnight and it’s not something that you should try to rush through. Instead, try to embrace the journey and enjoy the ride.

    Are you feeling overwhelmed by the thought of creating content? Maybe you’re not sure where to start or what steps to take. If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with the content creation process, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

    In this blog post, I’m going to break down the content creation process into three simple steps. By following these steps, you’ll be able to easily plan, create, and publish your content with confidence.

    So, if you’re ready to streamline your content creation process and start creating amazing content, keep reading. I’ll guide you through each step and provide tips and tricks along the way.

    What are the 3 steps of the Content Creation Process?

    • Creative
    • Content
    • Communications Platforms
    The Content Creation process by Dean Cothill

    On the one hand this is a chronological process but its also so important to look back and keep the flow going…

    1. The Creative

    So whether it’s a new ad campaign or sermon series, or new ideation project of any kind, this is where the magic happens.

    In the creative space, there are no rules. Yes you heard me, no rules. No dream is too big, no idea is too crazy. This is creation in it purest form. Dream. Go Big. Get food and coffee for everyone. Get your favourite snacks and get the team in a beautiful place and come up with every idea under the sun.

    Put it all on the wall. Every idea. Every single one.

    The beauty of the creative process lies in its unpredictable nature. It is a journey of self-discovery, filled with twists and turns, highs and lows. It is a process that requires us to let go of our need for control and surrender to the unknown. It is in this surrender that we are able to tap into our true potential and create something truly beautiful and authentic. The creative process is a dance between the conscious and unconscious mind, a collaboration between the logical and the intuitive. It is a process that allows us to connect with our deepest desires and bring them to life. It is a journey that teaches us to trust ourselves and our vision, and to have faith in the unknown. In short, the creative process is a breathtaking, wondrous adventure that has the power to transform us and the world around us.

    2. The Content

    • Graphics
    • Photos
    • Videos
    • Graphic Design
    • Interior Design
    • Copy

    Here is where the method meets the madness. In the Creation Narrative in the book of Genesis we see that The Spirit hovers over the water and brings order to the chaos, the earth is formless and void. We can all the ideas in the world but if they aren’t ordered and structured, they will just remain ideas.

    So you and your team have a CREATIVE LIST now, you then choose and grab the best ones that line up with what you guys wanna do, now the question is, how do you communicate those ideas to the world? Video maybe? Some still images? Blog posts? Each creative idea must find a “vessel”.

    3. The Communications Platforms

    Here quite simply, videos go to particular places (Social media platforms). Words go to particular places. Graphics also go somewhere else. If the team has decided that video is the medium that will be used, here are some questions then. As a team you guys have settled on which social media platforms you guys wanna and need to be on. You can read more here.

    • How long is the video?
    • Do we make one long video and break it down into smaller shorter content pieces? Can we :screen grab” images from the video?
    • Can we use the audio from the video for other platforms?
    • Will we shoot is 16×9 or rather look at specifics for short form video platforms?
    • Do we then take that video and grab still from it for social media posts?
    • How does the video then define the narrative for our copy and blogposts?
    • What goes on YouTube and what goes on IG or TikTok?
    • From the copy and voice overs we have created, how many tweets can we get?

    All these questions inform our content creation funnel…

    Content Creation Funnel by Dean Cothill

    Here as we go down the funnel, the prices of content “become smaller” and the platforms for the communication process also changes. Audio goes here and video goes there, still go there and copy goes here. Here we will use various forms and make sure they work well together on that specific platform, like your blog or website. The “look and feel” of the video can be used for stage and interior design layouts. All the pieces of the puzzle slowly start to fit together.

    So you have actually only created “1 piece of content”, a 3 minute video, but it informs everything else about the project and actually makes our lives much easier down the road.

    In a nutshell – a content creation funnel is the creation and circulation of helpful content – blogs, social media posts, videos, newsletters – to current and prospective visitors and guests! (See image 1)

    Other tips include to keep a running list of ideas. This could be a physical notebook, a document on your computer, or even just a list on your phone. Whenever an idea pops into your head, jot it down. This way, when it comes time to actually sit down and create content, you’ll have a wealth of ideas to choose from.

    Finally, don’t be afraid to get brave and have fun with the process. Content creation should be an expression of your thoughts, ideas, and personality. Don’t worry about perfection or trying to please “everyone” – just focus on creating something that is authentic and true to you and your team.

    So there you have it – a few tips to help make the content creation process a little easier and a lot more enjoyable. I hope they inspire you to embrace your creativity and start creating the content you’ve always dreamed of. Happy creating!

    Much love

    Dean

  • How can our church get more local reviews on Google Business?

    How can our church get more local reviews on Google Business?

    Now that you know how to get onto Google Business and you’ve got that up and running…

    Where to from here?

    Google reviews are an important aspect of any local churches online presence. Not only do they help to improve the visibility of your church in search results, but they also serve as a trusted source of information for potential church visitors or guests. In today’s digital age, (church goers/seekers/christians/consumers) rely heavily on the opinions of others when making purchasing decisions, and Google reviews provide a platform for your “people” to share their experiences with your church. In this article, we’ll explore the reasons why Google reviews are so important for your local listings and how they can help to drive traffic to your church.

    Did you know… the number of Google reviews is one of the biggest factors in Google’s local search algorithm?

    Take a moment and see for yourself:

    • Google “church in [your city].”
    • Look under the map at the “Local 3 Pack,” add together the number of reviews the 3 churches there have, and divide by 3 to get the average number of reviews.
    • Click the map in the Local 3 Pack to see the top 20 results in Google maps
    • Scroll down and take a look at how many reviews churches towards the bottom of the top 20 have.

    Big difference, right?

    How do you get more Google reviews for your church?

    Glad you asked. Here are…

    3 Ways to Get More Google Reviews for Your Church

    1) Add a Google Business Profile icon/link in the header or footer of your website.

    By placing social media icons that link to your church’s profiles on platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, you can encourage members to review your Google Business Profile. Including these icons makes it easy for visitors to access and read all of the positive reviews that your church has already received. This simple step can help to drive traffic and engagement on your online profiles, as well as improve the overall visibility of your church in search results.

    2) Post a request for reviews to social media.

    One way to encourage your followers on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to leave reviews for your church is to post a request for reviews and include a link to your Google Business Profile. Remind people that by posting a review, they are not only sharing their positive experiences with your church, but they are also helping to improve your church’s search rankings and reach a wider audience online. Highlighting the specific ways in which your church has made an impact on people’s lives through the power of God can be a particularly effective way to motivate people to visit your church in person on Sunday.

    3) Send email and/or texts to members asking them to post a review.

    As it becomes increasingly difficult to reach people through social media channels, email and text message communication can be effective alternatives. Both of these mediums tend to have high open rates, and you can make your request for reviews more personalized in an email or text. When asking for reviews through email or text, be sure to include a link to your Google Business Profile and explain how the reviews will help your church achieve its mission. It’s also important to be mindful of Google’s efforts to combat fake reviews. If your church receives a large number of reviews in a short period of time, it may be flagged by Google’s algorithm as suspicious. To avoid this, it’s best to aim for a steady stream of reviews rather than a sudden influx.

    To avoid triggering any red flags with Google’s algorithm, it’s best to gradually collect reviews from your congregation rather than sending a mass email all at once. A good goal is to aim for around 5 reviews per week. You can start by sending an email request to a small group of people, such as 20 individuals, and then assess the response after a week. If you receive a high number of reviews, such as 10, you can scale down the number of people you email the following week. On the other hand, if you only receive a few reviews, you can try increasing the number of people you email to see if that leads to more reviews. This approach allows you to adjust your strategy based on the response rate and ensure that you are collecting reviews at a natural and sustainable pace. Natural and organic is key here.

    In today’s digital world, Google reviews are more critical than ever for local communities, businesses and churches. Not only do they help to improve the visibility of your church in search results, but they also serve as a trusted source of information for potential visitors and guests. By encouraging your people to leave reviews and actively managing your online reputation, you can build trust and credibility with potential guests and drive traffic to your community. So don’t underestimate the power of Google reviews – they are an essential part of any successful digital marketing strategy.

    Let’s stay in touch

    Grace and Peace

    Dean

  • Let’s show some gratitude online…

    Let’s show some gratitude online…

    Less grumpy, more gratitude.

    Gratitude is a powerful emotion that has the ability to transform our lives and relationships for the better. It can help us to appreciate the people, experiences, and things that bring joy and meaning to our lives. In this blog post, we will explore the many benefits of cultivating gratitude, and provide tips for how to make it a daily practice. By learning to express gratitude regularly, we can improve our mental and physical well-being, strengthen our relationships, and lead more fulfilling lives.

    How to show gratitude online

    One way to show gratitude to people online is to simply say “thank you” when they do something that you appreciate. This can be as simple as thanking someone for answering a question or providing a helpful suggestion. It’s important to be sincere and specific when expressing gratitude, so be sure to mention what you are thanking the person for and why you appreciate it.

    Another way to show gratitude is to express your appreciation for someone’s character or actions. For example, you might say something like “I really appreciate your kindness and generosity” or “I’m so grateful for your support and encouragement.” By focusing on the person’s positive qualities, you can show that you value them as an individual and not just for what they have done for you.

    A third way to show gratitude is to offer a small gesture of appreciation, such as sending a virtual gift or sending a handwritten note. These gestures can be especially meaningful if you are unable to be physically present with the person.

    A fourth way to show gratitude is to simply be there for someone when they need it. Whether it’s offering a listening ear or providing practical assistance, being a supportive presence can mean a lot to someone who is going through a difficult time.

    A fifth way to show gratitude is to make an effort to stay in touch with people, even when you are busy or live far apart. A simple message or phone call can go a long way in letting someone know that you care about them and value their friendship.

    A sixth way to show gratitude is to celebrate the achievements and milestones of the people in your life. Whether it’s a big accomplishment or a small win, taking the time to acknowledge and celebrate someone’s success can mean a lot to them.

    Finally, a seventh way to show gratitude is to simply be grateful and express your appreciation for the people in your life on a regular basis. This can be as simple as telling someone “I’m so glad to have you in my life” or sending a message to let them know that you are thinking of them. By expressing your gratitude frequently and consistently, you can strengthen your relationships and build deeper connections with the people in your life.

    So let’s break it down…

    1. “Thank you so much for your help! I really appreciate it.”
    2. “I can’t thank you enough for your advice and guidance.”
    3. “I’m grateful to you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me.”
    4. “I appreciate your willingness to lend a helping hand.”
    5. “Thank you for being such a great support and encouragement.”
    6. “I’m grateful for your kind words and encouragement.”
    7. “Thank you for always being there for me and for your ongoing support.”

    There you go, copy and paste these into a few chats…

    Let’s have an attitude of gratitude, together, online.

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • What is the difference between “resting for” something and “resting from” something…

    What is the difference between “resting for” something and “resting from” something…

    You ask anyone who has run a race, hit the gym or finished an event, you wanna do that again? They will say “absolutely”, but if you ask them, you wanna do that again right now? They’ll say, “No thanks, gotta get some rest first…”

    At its most basic level, resting for an activity refers to the idea of preparing oneself for an upcoming task or challenge. This might involve physical preparation, such as stretching or warming up before a workout or game, or it might involve mental or emotional preparation, such as taking a few deep breaths before a big presentation or calming oneself before a stressful meeting. Essentially, resting for an activity is about getting ourselves ready to take on whatever lies ahead.

    In contrast, resting from an activity refers to the idea of taking a break after we have completed a task or challenge. This might involve physically resting our bodies after a workout or mentally decompressing after a long day at work. Resting from an activity is about allowing ourselves time to recharge and recover, both physically and mentally, so that we can be ready to tackle the next thing that comes our way.

    So why is it important to differentiate between these two forms of rest as we start 2023?

    For one thing, it helps us to be more mindful of our own needs and to be more intentional about how we care for ourselves. It can be easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life, and to push ourselves too hard without taking adequate time to rest and recharge. By recognizing the importance of both resting for an activity and resting from an activity, we can be more intentional about building rest into our lives in a way that allows us to be more resilient and better equipped to handle the challenges that come our way.

    This is an idea that Brené Brown has explored in her work on vulnerability and wholehearted living. In her TED Talk on “The Power of Vulnerability,” Brown discusses the importance of cultivating a sense of belonging and connection in our lives, and how this requires us to be vulnerable and open to the ups and downs of life. But being vulnerable and open also requires us to take care of ourselves, to be mindful of our own needs and to practice self-compassion. This means taking the time to rest and recharge, both before and after the challenges that we face.

    For Brown, resting is not just a matter of physical or mental recovery, but also a way to connect with ourselves and with the people around us. She writes, “Rest is not the absence of work. Rest is not the absence of striving. Rest is the presence of worth. It’s the presence of love and connection.” In other words, resting is about taking time to be present with ourselves and with others, and to recognize the inherent worth and value that we bring to the world. This requires us to be intentional about building rest into our lives, and to be mindful of when we need to rest for an activity and when we need to rest from an activity.

    Here are a few ways to incorporate both resting for an activity and resting from an activity into your daily routine:

    • Take breaks between tasks: It’s important to allow yourself time to rest and recharge between tasks, particularly if you are working on something mentally or emotionally demanding. Taking breaks can help you to refocus and feel rejuvenated, rather than burnt out.
    • Get enough sleep: Sleep is crucial for both physical and mental recovery, so it’s important to prioritize getting enough sleep every night. This means establishing a regular sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and taking steps to create a sleep-friendly environment (such as keeping your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet).
    • Engage in relaxation techniques: There are many different techniques that can help you to relax and recharge, such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness practices. Experiment with different techniques to find what works best for you, and make time for relaxation on a daily basis.
    • Connect with others: Building connections with others is an important part of wholehearted living, and it can also be an important form of rest and recharge. Whether it’s spending quality time with friends and family, joining a social group, or participating in a hobby or activity that you enjoy, taking time to connect with others can be a great way to restore your sense of balance and well-being.
    • Prioritize self-care: Finally, it’s important to prioritize self-care in your daily routine. This might mean setting aside time for a hobby or activity that you enjoy, taking a relaxing bath or shower, or indulging in a favorite treat. Whatever it is that helps you to feel cared for and nourished, make sure to make time for it in your schedule.

    Balance is so important in all of the ideas above, find your rhythm, find your pace, rest for and rest from various activities. By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can be more intentional about resting for an activity and resting from an activity, and build more resilience and well-being into your life. Remember, rest is not just about physical or mental recovery, but also about cultivating a sense of connection and worth, and taking time to be present with yourself and those around you. By taking the time to rest, you can better prepare yourself for the challenges ahead and live a more wholehearted and fulfilling life.

    Much love

    Dean

  • Quiet and chaos

    Quiet and chaos

    In the still of the night I find myself caught. Between the calm and the storm The tension of quiet and chaos, Tugging at my mind, leaving me torn

    I try to escape. To find some peace, but the chaos within me never seems to cease. The quiet it beckons but the storm rages on, leaving me trapped In a cycle so wrong.

    I long for the silence, The Peace it brings. But the chaos, it follows like the flutter of wings. I try to outrun it but it’s always at my heels. The tension between quiet and chaos and he fears it reveals

    I’m caught in a battle, a war in my mind. The quiet, it whispers. But the chaos, it screams and it shoves. I try to find my balance, but it’s hard to be kind to the part of me that just wants to hide.

    I seek refuge in the quiet but the chaos, it lurks I try to escape it. But it always seems to work its way back into my head. The tension, it never fades, leaving me stuck in this endless cycle of quiet and chaos, of fear and dismay.

    But I won’t give up yet I’ll keep Fighting this Fight, I’ll seek out the quiet and try to make it right. The chaos may rage on but I won’t be overcome I’ll find my way through. This tension between quiet and chaos, this scary unknown.

  • The Joy and The Journey

    The Joy and The Journey

    The joy and the journey,

    A brand new year begun.

    Promises made in good faith,

    To be carried out, one by one.

    The road ahead is long,

    But we’ll travel it with grace.

    With hope in our hearts and fire in our soul,

    We’ll make our mark in this place.

    The future is ours to shape,

    With hard work and determination.

    We’ll turn our dreams into reality,

    No obstacle too great to overcome.

    So let us embrace the new year,

    With open arms and open hearts.

    The joy and the journey,

    A brand new start.

  • Should insecurity stop me from…

    Should insecurity stop me from…

    A few days ago I was up early and a cold misty morning at Sardinia Bay was not the most auspicious of starts, but as I wrapped my red KWAY Jacket around me and trudged up the sandy dune (LOL if you know exactly what I mean), the sand was cold and the mist was thick. Even made it hard to see as the air was so moist… Can see more here about Sards.

    I ran down the dune to get my feet warm and hit the water and it was freezing cold and so I just followed the shore and kept walking. Calm, windless, misty Sards. I made my way about 500 down the beach and just surround by mist, I saw these 3 Dark Horses in the distance. So I continued my way down the beach and got a very flat section of the ocean, a pond like, very flat swimming pool if you will. Ice cold water and perfect for a morning swim.

    As they approached the shore, the group of horses standing at the water’s edge didn’t move, their dark coats glistening with the morning dew. They were majestic creatures, with powerful muscles rippling beneath their skin and eyes that seemed to penetrate my very soul. They just have so much presence and I was so nervous that I had interrupted their walk, that I was getting in the way somehow. So I asked one of the jockeys if everything is ok, if I should move or leave “their space”, if they wanna get in the water.

    And she gently replied, “No please, them seeing you in the water is giving them the courage to consider getting in the water, as they never want to walk in water, ever. So this is amazing. Thank you.

    So I asked nervously if I may approach the horses and she said I could…

    I approached cautiously, not wanting to startle them, but as I drew near, one of the horses turned its head towards me and let out a soft whinny. I couldn’t help but smile at the greeting, and I reached out a hand to stroke the horse’s nose. To my surprise, the horse nuzzled my hand and I let out a contented sigh. I couldn’t believe it – these wild creatures seemed almost tame, as if they were waiting for me to arrive. (I know that sounds ridiculous…)

    I spent the next 10 minutes walking with with the horses, marveling at their beauty and grace as they walked gently in the shallow water, almost to my knees at times. I had never felt such a strong connection with an animal before, and I knew that this was a moment I would always treasure. I felt Gale (more about that later and my YouTube channel coming soon) Story time with Dean and Gale, say, Dean if you’re brave enough, you will give other people the courage and bravery to also step into cold situations and take some risks for their dreams. And that’s all I hope to do here… Light a fire in your bones.

    And then almost instantly, the jockey gestured to her friends and the horses turned around and they said good bye, and then I was alone, with what felt like the most Holy Moment just before sunrise… I quickly whipped of my clothes and dived into the freezing water, Goodness me what a wake up. Best. Feeling. Ever.

    As I turned to head back home, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe and wonder at the magic of the natural world. It was moments like these that made me believe that there was still so much out there waiting to be discovered, and that life was full of endless possibilities. I realised then that goodness me I long for the wild, I long for the cold on my skin, I longed for the insecurity and unpredictability that the weather and the wild could produce.

    As humans, we are hardwired to seek security and predictability. It’s a natural instinct that helps us feel safe and grounded in a rapidly changing world. But sometimes, following our dreams requires us to make scary, insecure decisions that challenge the status quo and push us out of our comfort zone. (And sometimes we need someone to show us that some things are possible…)

    For many of us, the thought of taking a risk and stepping into the unknown is downright terrifying. We worry about failing, making mistakes, or being judged by others, the fear that maybe the water is too cold and I don’t know what I could find in the depths? These fears can hold us back and prevent us from pursuing our passions and living the lives we truly want.

    But as Brene Brown says, “the only way to get to the other side of fear is to walk through it.” In other words, the only way to achieve our dreams is to embrace the fear and uncertainty that comes with making bold moves.

    This doesn’t mean that we should blindly charge ahead into the open seas and hope for the best without considering the potential consequences. (I think of Frozen 2 here) It’s important to carefully weigh the pros and cons and make informed decisions. But it does mean that we should be willing to take calculated risks and embrace the potential for failure as part of the journey.

    Making scary, insecure decisions can also be an opportunity for growth and learning. When we face challenges and setbacks, we have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes and come back stronger. These experiences can help us develop resilience and build the courage to take on even bigger challenges in the future. one small step into the water turns into an open water swim turns into an icy swim in the arctic circle. My prayer is that your dreams would frighten and awaken you to your core.

    But perhaps most importantly, making scary, insecure decisions allows us to live authentically and follow our hearts. It’s easy to get caught up in the expectations of others or the societal norms of what we “should” be doing. But when we make the brave choice to pursue our dreams, we are able to live a life that is true to ourselves and fulfill our unique purpose.

    At 19 I started to play the guitar for our little local youth ministry in Benoni. (Yes I have photos and no I won’t share them, LOL) And I recall the bravery I summoned to perform for a small audience of like 20, even though it took a million wrong notes to find the right melody and key. I remember the insecure steps I took to my first job interview as I tried to impress the boss with all the “right” words”. I remember the strength I had to pull out of my self when I had to stand for something I believed in and no one stood up with me, leaving me without a job, but standing up for what I believe was right. I even remember the insecure teenager who knelt on his girlfriends kitchen floor and asked her to marry him.

    Now, we seek clarity and stability, but the truth is they aren’t real. You know this to be true with in yourself.

    So if you’re feeling scared or uncertain about making a big decision, remember that it’s okay to be afraid. It’s a natural part of the process. But don’t let your fear hold you back from chasing your dreams. Embrace the insecurity and take that first step towards making your dreams a reality. You never know where it might lead you…

    I’ll come with a couple lines from my favourite band, Switchfoot. (Thanks Jon)

    We found a way out
    The city takes everything it can
    But outside the crowds
    I can feel my lungs again

    Born for the blue skies
    We’ll survive the rain
    Born for the sunrise
    We’ll survive the pain

    Listen here.

    Grace and Peace

    Dean

  • What is the difference between “holding space” and “giving space” to/for someone…

    What is the difference between “holding space” and “giving space” to/for someone…

    Holding space for someone and giving someone space are two distinct concepts that are often conflated or used interchangeably, but they have significant differences in their meanings and implications on relationships. Here I want to explore these ideas like one would a forest, slowly and gently, watching where we step as to try and see the difference between these two terms and how they can be used effectively in our relationships and communication.

    Holding Space VS Giving Space

    First, let’s define each term. “Holding space” refers to the act of being present with someone in a non-judgmental and supportive way, without trying to fix or change their experience or emotions. (Men I know this seems impossible and that we want to FIX FIX FIX). It involves actively listening, offering empathy and understanding, and providing a safe and caring environment for the other person to process their feelings and thoughts. “Giving someone space,” on the other hand, means allowing that person the physical or emotional distance they need to deal with their own issues or feelings without interference or pressure. It can involve taking a step back and allowing the other person to have some solitude, or it can mean giving them the time and freedom to work through their emotions on their own. For some, this can be a very lonely and isolating experience. This is why it is so key for us to understand and see the difference in approaches here.

    Now that we have a basic understanding of the two concepts, let’s explore the differences between them in more detail.

    One key difference between holding space

    One key difference between holding space and giving someone space is the level of involvement and engagement. When you hold space for someone, you are actively present and engaged with that person, offering support and understanding as they navigate their emotions. You are not trying to solve their problems or fix their feelings, but rather you are simply there to be a supportive and caring presence. THATS IT. On the other hand, when you give someone space, you are taking a step back and allowing that person the freedom and independence to work through their own issues. You may still be available for support and communication, sending message every once in a while, but you are not as actively involved in their emotional process.

    Another difference between holding space and giving someone space is the level of emotional connection and intimacy. Holding space for someone involves creating a deep and meaningful connection with that person, where you are able to offer genuine empathy and understanding. This requires vulnerability and a willingness to be emotionally open and present with the other person. Giving someone space, on the other hand, involves allowing that person the freedom and independence to deal with their own emotions without interference. It may involve less emotional intimacy and connection, as you are not as actively involved in their emotional process. Here it is also important to take note of whether someone said “they need space” or if you have decided to just “give them space”…

    Finally, the timing and context of holding space and giving someone space can also be different. Holding space is typically done in the moment, as a way of being present and supportive with someone who is struggling or dealing with difficult emotions. It is often used as a way of offering comfort and support in the face of adversity or crisis. Giving someone space, on the other hand, may be more appropriate in situations where the other person needs some time and distance to work through their own issues or emotions. It may involve taking a step back and allowing the other person some solitude (loneliness and solitude are two things not to be confused) or independence, in order to give them the time and space they need to process their feelings. (Once again, depending on who initiated which course of action).

    The place of EMPATHY and VULNERABILITY…

    In friendships, empathy and vulnerability are key ingredients that help to foster deep and meaningful connections. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, and it allows us to connect with others on a deeper level by putting ourselves in their shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. Vulnerability, on the other hand, involves being open and authentic with others, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences even when it may be difficult or uncomfortable.

    Both empathy and vulnerability are essential for building and maintaining strong and healthy friendships. Without empathy, it can be difficult to fully understand and support our friends, and we may struggle to connect with them on a deeper level. Without vulnerability, we may not feel comfortable opening up and sharing our true selves with others, which can prevent us from building meaningful and authentic relationships.

    By cultivating empathy and vulnerability in our friendships, we can create safe and supportive environments where we can be honest and open with each other, and where we can offer genuine support and understanding to those we care about. Whether we are dealing with joy or sadness, success or failure, by embracing empathy and vulnerability, we can create friendships that are based on genuine connection and support.

    So, for me coming out of some dark places and having to fight some memories that have turned into monsters, I really hope this distinction helps someone. I think the main difference between holding space and giving someone space is the level of involvement and engagement, the level of emotional connection and intimacy, and the timing and context in which they are used. Holding space involves being present and engaged with someone in a supportive and caring way, while giving someone space involves allowing that person the freedom and independence to work through their own issues and emotions. Both can be valuable and important in different situations, and understanding the distinction between them can help us navigate relationships and communication more effectively.

    Let’s keep in touch

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

    What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

    Are you a man? Are you a man’s man? Are you a ladies man? Ever been told to man up? Suck it up and be a man? Stop crying, boy’s don’t cry? The world we live in have told kids and men in many different ways that there are norms and that there are some things that are on the table and things that aren’t.

    So I think it’s important to note that masculinity, like any social construct, is constantly evolving and can vary significantly depending on cultural and historical context. In this response, I will focus on how masculinity has evolved in Western societies over the past five years, but it is worth noting that the experiences and expectations of masculinity can be very different in other parts of the world.

    Over the past five years, there has been a growing movement to challenge traditional notions of masculinity and to promote more inclusive and healthy expressions of masculinity. This has included a focus on issues such as toxic masculinity, male privilege, and the harmful effects of rigid gender roles on men and those around them.

    One of the key drivers of this shift has been the #MeToo movement, which has brought attention to issues of sexual harassment and assault, particularly as they relate to men’s behavior and the power dynamics between men and women. The #MeToo movement has sparked a broader conversation about the ways in which traditional notions of masculinity can contribute to harmful and oppressive behaviors, and has encouraged men to examine their own actions and beliefs and to consider how they can be part of the solution.

    Another factor that has contributed to the evolution of masculinity is the increasing recognition of the importance of mental health and emotional intelligence. In the past, there has often been a stigma attached to men seeking help for mental health issues or expressing emotions other than anger or aggression. However, in recent years there has been a growing understanding that men also experience a range of emotions and that it is important for their overall well-being to be able to express and process these emotions in healthy ways. Coming off the last 3 months, I am going to try and be brave and vulnerable and honest about so many of my struggles and emotional health issues coming off work, stress, anxiety and burnout. (All of which I never saw coming, I mean, I honestly thought it would never happen to me. EVER)

    This shift has been driven in part by the LGBTQ+ movement, which has worked to create more inclusive and accepting environments for people of all gender identities and sexual orientations. As a result, there has been a greater acceptance and understanding of the diversity of gender and sexual identities, and a recognition that not all men identify as heterosexual or conform to traditional gender roles.

    This shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality has challenged traditional notions of masculinity, which have often been based on rigid and narrow ideas of what it means to be a “man.” By allowing for a wider range of expressions of masculinity, this shift has helped to create a more inclusive and accepting society for people of all genders and sexualities.

    It is worth noting that this shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality is not limited to men, but is also applicable to women and those who do not identify with either binary gender. However, for the purposes of this response, I focused specifically on how this shift has affected and challenged traditional notions of masculinity.

    Overall, it is clear that masculinity has evolved significantly over the past five years, and will likely continue to evolve in the future. While there is still much work to be done to create more equitable and healthy expressions of masculinity, it is encouraging to see the progress that has been made in recent years.

    Having Daniel and Elizabeth has absolutely opened my eyes to what it means to be a “boy” and what it means to be a “girl” and what it means to raise a child.

    It is important to recognize that all children are unique individuals and parenting approaches should be tailored to meet the needs and personality of each individual child. That being said, there are some general differences between raising boys and girls that may be worth considering:

    • Physical differences: Boys and girls may have different physical characteristics and developmental milestones. For example, boys may develop physically and emotionally at a slightly faster pace, and may be more interested in rough-and-tumble play, and soccer, and the World Cup and Ronaldo and that final, and Messi. Girls may mature more slowly and may be more interested in dolls and imaginative play.

    • Socialization and gender roles: Boys and girls may be socialized differently by society and may be encouraged to exhibit different behaviors based on gender stereotypes. It is important for parents to be aware of these societal expectations and to try to avoid imposing rigid gender roles on their children.
    1. Communication styles: Boys and girls may communicate differently, with boys often being more physically expressive and girls more verbal. It is important for parents to be attuned to their child’s individual communication style and to try to encourage open and honest communication.
    2. Emotional expression: Boys and girls may express their emotions differently. Boys may be more likely to suppress their emotions or to express them through physical aggression, while girls may be more likely to express their emotions through verbal communication. It is important for parents to encourage open and healthy expression of emotions in both boys and girls.

    Again, it is important to remember that these are generalizations and that every child is unique. The most important thing is to approach parenting with love, patience, and an open mind, and to be responsive to the needs and personality of your individual child.

    So what does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a dad?

    Stay tuned for PART 2 next week…

    Much love

    D

  • What are some things that are preventing Church Growth at the moment and what could help? (Part 1 of 2)

    What are some things that are preventing Church Growth at the moment and what could help? (Part 1 of 2)

    There are many factors that can affect church growth. Here are nine potential issues that may be preventing church growth:

    1. Lack of a clear vision or mission: If a church doesn’t have a clear sense of its purpose or direction, it may be difficult to attract and retain members.
    2. Lack of outreach or evangelism: If a church is not actively reaching out to the community and sharing its message, it may struggle to attract new members.
    3. Poor communication: If a church is not effectively communicating with its members and the wider community, it may be difficult for people to understand and connect with its mission and vision.
    4. Limited resources: A church with limited resources may struggle to effectively minister to its members and attract new ones.
    5. Ineffective leadership: Poor leadership can demoralize church members and make it difficult for the church to move forward.
    6. Disunity among members: Disagreements and conflicts within a church can create a negative atmosphere and discourage people from joining or staying involved.
    7. Lack of relevance: If a church is not addressing the needs and concerns of its community, it may struggle to attract and retain members.
    8. Competition with other churches: In some areas, there may be a lot of competition among churches for members, which can make it difficult for any one church to grow.
    9. Negative reputation: If a church has a negative reputation in the community, it may be difficult to attract new members.

    Now here is where Creativity AND Innovation come in…

    But first a Bible story…

    For 3 points, who was the first person in the Bible to receive the Holy Spirit? It was a young man by the name of Bezelel. Bezalel possessed such great wisdom that he could combine those letters of the alphabet with which heaven and earth were created; this being the meaning of the statement (Exodus 31:3): “I have filled him … with wisdom and knowledge,” which were the implements by means of which God created the world, as stated in Proverbs 3:19, 20. By virtue of his profound wisdom, Bezalel succeeded in erecting a sanctuary which seemed a fit abiding-place for God, who is so exalted in time and space (Exodus R. 34:1; Numbers 12:3). The candlestick of the sanctuary was of so complicated a nature that Moses could not comprehend it, although God twice showed him a heavenly model; but when he described it to Bezalel, the latter understood immediately, and made it at once; whereupon Moses expressed his admiration for the quick wisdom of Bezalel, saying again that he must have been “in the shadow of God” (Hebrew, “beẓel El”) when the heavenly models were shown him (Numbers 15:10). Bezalel is said to have been at least thirteen years of age when he accomplished his great work (Sanhedrin 69b); he owed his wisdom to the merits of pious parents; his grandfather being Hur and his great-grandmother Miriam, he was thus a grandnephew of Moses (Exodus R. 48:3, 4).

    INNOVATION AND CREATIVITY. The same Spirit that was at the beginning of creation, is the same Spirit that is placed in Bezelel and is the same spirit that is in each of us. (RUACH-ELOHIM – if you’d like to Google a little)

    So what does this mean for church leadership?

    Innovation and creativity are important in church leadership for several reasons:

    1. To keep the church relevant and engaging: Innovative and creative approaches can help the church stay relevant and engaging in a rapidly changing world. This can help the church attract new members and keep current members engaged and invested in the church’s mission.
    2. To adapt to changing circumstances: Innovation and creativity can help the church adapt to changing circumstances, such as the challenges posed by the COVID-19 pandemic. This might include finding new ways to connect with members and deliver services, or developing new programs and initiatives to meet the needs of the community.
    3. To better serve the community: By thinking creatively and innovatively, church leaders can identify new ways to serve the community and meet the changing needs of those around them. This might include developing new outreach programs, partnering with other organizations, or finding new ways to address social issues.
    4. To foster spiritual growth: Creativity and innovation can help church leaders find new ways to engage and inspire members, which can lead to deeper spiritual growth and connection to the church.
    5. To attract new members: By embracing innovation and creativity, the church can become a more attractive and welcoming place for new members, particularly younger people who may be looking for a fresh, relevant approach to faith.
    6. To foster collaboration and teamwork: Innovation and creativity often involve collaboration and teamwork, which can help church leaders build stronger relationships with one another and work more effectively as a team.
    7. To inspire and motivate: Creativity and innovation can inspire and motivate church leaders and members alike, leading to greater energy and enthusiasm for the church’s mission.
    8. To better use resources: Innovation and creativity can help church leaders find more efficient and effective ways to use resources, such as time, money, and personnel, leading to a more impactful and sustainable ministry.
    9. To stay true to the church’s mission: By embracing innovation and creativity, church leaders can stay true to the church’s mission and values while also adapting to changing circumstances and the needs of the community.

    See soon soon for part 2…

    Grace and peace

    Dean