Dean Cothill

Tag: authentic leadership

  • What is the meaning Christmas?

    What is the meaning Christmas?

    The raw real life meaning of Christmas can be found by examining the story of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus and the reality of their lives and His Birth. Similar to ours, I mean otherwise what’s the point of some dude who was born 2000 years ago?

    According to the Gospels, Mary was a young woman living in the small town of Nazareth (Sources suggest around 400 people) in the Roman-occupied region of Palestine. She was engaged to be married to man by the name of Joseph, a carpenter. However, before they were married, Mary was visited by an angel who told her that she would give birth to a son who would be the Son of God. Mary, who was a virgin, was understandably shocked and confused by this news. Despite her doubts and fears, Mary eventually agreed to become the mother of Jesus.

    Joseph, meanwhile, was faced with a difficult decision. When he learned that Mary was pregnant, he knew that he could not marry her without facing disgrace and shame. However, he also did not want to abandon Mary and their unborn child. In the end, Joseph decided to marry Mary and support her through the pregnancy.

    As the time of Jesus’ birth approached, Mary and Joseph were forced to travel to Bethlehem (around 600 people in population) to be counted in a census ordered by the Roman Empire. It was during this journey that Mary went into labor and gave birth to Jesus in a stable, as there was no room for them at the inn.

    The birth of Jesus was a simple and humble one, far from the glamorous and luxurious celebrations that Christmas has become today. It was a raw and real life event, marked by hardship and struggle, but also by faith and hope.

    The family and I love hiking and walking on the beaches and forests in our surrounding local spots and the other incredible parts of our country. South Africa honestly wins. It just does. Beaches. Mountains. Forests. We got them. So this morning it was raining, “cold” – by South African standards and so misty. But the kids were up at 05:30 and game for a hike with dad… S

    So what do I do? I gear UP! I get all the boots, jackets and beanies in the world for everyone. Daniel really quite content, long pants and jacket with shoes. He’s ready to run and get going… Lizzy on the other hand. NOPE. Would have none of it. Red dress. No shoes. Let’s go. She fought me, challenged me, wanted none of it and so what do I do? I let her obviously. I mean. I’m not gonna fight a toddler.

    AND OFF WE WENT.

    I WANT TO SAY THIS AGAIN… The birth of Jesus was a simple and humble one, far from the glamorous and luxurious celebrations that Christmas has become today. It was a raw and real life event, marked by hardship and struggle, but also by faith and hope. Our Christmas’s have become sanitised by the malls and Christmas lights we have put up. Excuse the commentary on the times, but everything has been sanitised, am I right? Everything in our lives exists to “protect” and keep us “comfortable”.

    • Cold outside, what we do?
    • Warm outside, what we do?
    • Raining, what we do?
    • Going for a run, what you do?
    • Going to the mall, what you do?
    • Going hiking, WHAT DO WE DO?

    We wear shoes ALL THE TIME, when was the last time you felt grass, sand or stones under your feet? Stood on a thorn? When was the last time you felt rain on your skin? Not on your rain jacket? When was the last time you got your hands dirty, in the sand and the soil of the earth?

    Throughout his life, Jesus would continue to challenge the social, political, and religious norms of his time. He preached a message of love and compassion, and taught his followers to be humble and to serve others. He also faced persecution and ultimately suffered a cruel and brutal death on the cross, but his message and teachings have endured for centuries and continue to inspire and guide people around the world.

    See I think Jesus gets it: that kids get it. In Luke we read…

    “People brought babies to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. When the disciples saw it, they shooed them off. Jesus called them back. “Let these children alone. Don’t get between them and me. These children are the kingdom’s pride and joy. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.”

    The raw real life meaning of Christmas, then, is about more than just presents and holiday cheer. It is about the birth of Jesus, a man who would go on to change the world with his message of love and compassion. I wonder if Moses got into the same kinda “rut” we do, same road, same, path, same trees, same river, same road to and from work, and what does God say to him when He get his attention? Take your shoes off, FEEL the earth, feel the sand, FEEL the dust of the earth, FEEL the soft gentle tickle of the grass. This ground here, in THIS moment, IS HOLY it always has been and you just need to take your shoes off more… It is about the humble beginnings of a life that would inspire and transform countless people. It is about the raw and real struggles of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, and the enduring message of hope and redemption that they bring to us all and let’s see if this Christmas, we can learn something from a small child.

  • New year, same old me?

    New year, same old me?

    As the year comes to a close and we look towards the new year, it is natural to start thinking about the goals and resolutions we want to set for ourselves. However, it is unfortunate that for many people, the time and effort put into setting these goals often goes to waste. Studies have shown that up to 92% of New Year’s resolutions fail, leading some to wonder if it is even worth the effort. But before we give up on goal setting entirely, it is important to understand why resolutions and goals often fail, and what we can do to increase our chances of success.

    Do more than just write it down…

    One of the main reasons why resolutions and goals fail is that people often don’t go beyond just writing them down. The act of writing down a goal or resolution is certainly a good first step, but it is not enough on its own. Without a plan or a process in place to actually achieve the goal, it becomes nothing more than an intention. For example, hoping to see your church grow without a plan for how to make that happen is simply a hope, and intending to lose weight without a plan for how to do so is just an intention. In both cases, the goal remains nothing more than a wish. Tell some friends, make yourself accountable, post it online and ask your friends to CHECK-IN on you…

    Clear, simple, GOALS?

    STOP for a second here, what’s on the LIST for January? Just January…

    Another reason that resolutions and goals often fail is that people don’t have a clear understanding of what they want to achieve. It is important to be specific and realistic when setting goals. Vague or overly ambitious goals are much less likely to be achieved than specific, achievable goals. For example, a goal of “losing weight” is vague and doesn’t provide any direction or motivation. On the other hand, a goal of “losing 10 pounds in three months by exercising three times a week and eating a healthier diet” is specific and provides a clear plan for how to achieve it.

    So go month by month, then term by term, then year by year.

    Are your goals “YOUR” goals?

    In addition to being specific and having a plan, it is important to consider whether a goal is actually important to you. If a goal is not something that you truly care about, it is much less likely that you will have the motivation and dedication to see it through. It is important to set goals that are meaningful and align with your values and priorities.

    Outcome-driven goals, or goals that are focused on the end result, can be motivating in the short term. However, in the long run, process-driven goals, or goals that focus on the steps and actions required to achieve a goal, tend to produce better results. For example, a financial goal of saving R500 per month is a better goal than hoping to see your investments grow by 15%. See goals like planting trees, allow the growth to happen, water the soil, a couple years pass and then you’re actually eating the fruit of those trees, your children are sitting under the shade of those trees and your grand children are now running the farms selling the fruit to neighbouring towns. My goals definitely have my kids in mind, and my kids’ kids.

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • The Mother Nature of God

    The Mother Nature of God

    As a spiritual guide and teacher, I often encourage people to think about God in new and different ways. One way that can be particularly powerful is to think about God as a Mother. Before someone throws a stone at me. In the Hebrew and Christian Bible, God is usually described in male terms in biblical sources, with female analogy in Genesis 1:26-27, Psalm 123:2-3, and Luke 15:8-10; a mother in Deuteronomy 32:18, Isaiah 66:13, Isaiah 49:15, Isaiah 42:14, Psalm 131:2; and a mother hen in Matthew 23:37 and Luke 13:34.

    BUT when we do this, it can bring the world to a standstill – it’s as if the feminine aspect of God dilutes the miraculous, when in reality it embodies it.

    We often celebrate when Jesus turns water into wine, but when women turn their breasts into milk, we often react with discomfort or even disdain. This demonstrates the ways in which we devalue the feminine and maternal, even within a religious context. The broken body of a man is celebrated every Sunday, while the broken body of a woman is often hidden away, as if it is something to be ashamed of.

    It’s no surprise that the word “mother” is often used by men as a way to demonize those who don’t conform to traditional gender roles, and to shame those who challenge authority. But when we think about God as a mother, she is neither quiet nor compliant. She leads with confidence, she questions authority, and she commands respect. And perhaps this is the problem – seeing God as a mother means seeing God in ourselves, and that can be uncomfortable. It requires us to confront and challenge our own biases and limitations.

    But to disentangle God from motherhood is impossible, and to disentangle God from womanhood is sinful. Seeing God as a mother brings us one step closer to understanding the divine within us, and it’s in that understanding that we are truly reborn. It allows us to embrace the fullness of who we are, and to recognize the inherent divinity in all of creation. It requires us to recognize the sacred in the mundane, and to find meaning and purpose in the everyday.

    But when we think of God as a mother, she is neither quiet nor compliant. She leads with confidence, she questions authority, and she commands respect. And perhaps that’s the problem – seeing God as a mother means seeing God in ourselves, and that can be uncomfortable. But to disentangle God from motherhood is impossible, and to disentangle God from womanhood is sinful. Seeing God as a mother brings us one step closer to understanding the divine within us, and it’s in that understanding that we are truly reborn.

  • Where do you turn when things get overwhelming? (Part 1)

    Where do you turn when things get overwhelming? (Part 1)

    Physical exercise is important for people who have high stress jobs or work environments for a number of reasons. I love morning runs on the beach or the road, Sardinia Bay is my absolute BEST! Sunset walks with the family at Sacramento is also just the best, sand and sea water between our toes. Then also love Gym at Virgin, and recently getting back into CrossFit with my friend Jeremy at Lion’s Bay. Main thing for me as a “HEART” person, is it allows me to FEEL my BODY. (More about this in a later post)…

    These things have become daily routines for me and have had massive positive impacts on my emotional well being, as a husband, as a dad and as a friend.

    Why even exercise?

    First and foremost, physical exercise has been shown to have a positive effect on mental health. When we engage in physical activity, our bodies release endorphins, which are chemicals that act as natural painkillers and mood elevators. This can help to reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression, and can also improve overall well-being and sense of happiness.

    In addition to its mental health benefits, physical exercise has also been shown to have a positive impact on physical health. Regular physical activity can help to reduce the risk of chronic conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity, and can also help to improve sleep quality and overall energy levels.

    Furthermore, physical exercise can also be a useful tool for managing stress in the workplace. Engaging in physical activity can provide an outlet for stress and can help to clear the mind, allowing individuals to approach their work with a greater sense of focus and clarity. In addition, the social aspect of physical exercise can also be beneficial, as it can provide an opportunity for individuals to connect with others and build supportive relationships that can be helpful in managing the demands of a high stress job or work environment.

    Overall, the benefits of physical exercise for individuals with high stress jobs or work environments are numerous and varied. By improving mental and physical health, managing stress, and providing social support, physical exercise can help individuals to better cope with the demands of their work and lead happier, healthier lives.

  • How to keep your content evolving… (Story is king…)

    How to keep your content evolving… (Story is king…)

    You have a story.

    You have a story. Your story is made up of your authentic personality and the life experiences that shape you into who you are today. It’s who you’ve been, what you’ve done, and how those experiences have affected your outlook on life – who you are as an individual. This is what makes you unique. And it’s what gives you the opportunity to connect with others on a deeper level. Your story also has a plotline – meaning that it has a beginning, middle and end. You start out as an underdog and work your way up; maybe there’s a particular event or period of time that changed the course of your life for good. But you have a story, and it’s yours and as you read, you’ll realise, ITS SO SACRED. Don’t let anyone ever stop you from telling your story, ever.

    The story of Joseph, Genesis 41

    You might be familiar with the story of Joseph, who was sold into slavery by his brothers and sent to work in Egypt. His dream was that one day he would rise to become the second most powerful person in Egypt. And this dream came true! Joseph was able to make his dreams a reality because he planned for them, strategized how they would come true, and put policies in place to ensure their success. This is how you make your goals happen too.

    If you have a goal or objective that isn’t being reached as quickly as you’d like it to be—whether it’s making more money or getting fit—consider what steps must happen before achieving that goal? These are things like:

    • Planning out a timeline
    • Building relationships with key players
    • Getting clear on what success looks like (for example: number of sales made per month)

    How Joseph’s story can help you today

    Joseph’s story is the story of a man who was in prison, but he was not broken. He learned to use his time in prison to create a vision for the future and to begin changing things around him. Joseph inspired others by telling them about his dreams, which eventually became their reality as well.

    It is the story of a man who was able to use his creativity to bring about change in himself and others around him.

    Step 1. Your content must evolve – from theory to practive, from dream to the plan

    You must evolve your content from theory to practise.

    Your creativity must also evolve from a dream to a plan.

    Dreams grow as plants grow. The bigger the plant gets the bigger the pot will eventually need to be. Make sure your dreams have big pots. Plan for big pots, and dream for even bigger fields and plots.

    Once you dream it, you have to make it happen. Your creativity must evolve from a dream into a plan.

    This is the next step in taking your content strategy from good to great:

    • Dream BIG about what you want your social media presence to look like and feel like. What kind of content do you want to share? On what platforms? With whom? Etc.
    • Create a plan for how you’re going to achieve that vision. That could mean creating new graphics, videos or other assets; setting up processes for scheduling posts; hiring writers and designers; learning how-to’s on new software tools like Gif Maker (a free tool provided by Facebook) – whatever it takes! Do what you gotta do. Design what you gotta design. Like these windows. Just do it.

    Step 2 like Joseph, put a policy in place that connects your content and creativity with your genuine leadership purpose.

    • You know what you stand for, but do others? What’s the message of your organization? How do you want to be seen in the world? Without having an existential crisis, lol, WHO ARE YOU?

    There’s that beautiful moment where PO gets asked, WHO ARE YOU?

    Kai:
    Who are you?

    Po:
    I’ve been asking myself that question. Am I the son of a panda? The son of a goose? A student? A teacher? I’m all of those things. [Po’s chi forms the shape of a dragon around him] I am the Dragon Warrior! Get it? You see the giant dragon?

    • To answer these questions, define what’s important to you (or business) and create a mission statement or vision statement that communicates it. Also make sure all your friends and family (and employees) understand how their work fits into this plan. They’ll be more committed when they understand how their contributions contribute value to the overall outcome—and so will customers and partners!

    Step 3. You are ready to lead creatively and authentically, leading with a relational heart.

    Leading with your story is the most authentic way to lead in a world of digital distraction. Your story is real and true—not manufactured or curated. Your lived experience and absolutely who you are. TAKE A DEEP BREATHE HERE.

    You will need to ask yourself some tough questions: What are my values? What do I believe in? Why am I here? How do I want people to feel when they interact with me? When you know what matters most to you, then you can begin sharing it through words, images and videos that reflect who you really are even as they attract like-minded peers who resonate with your authenticity.

    Leading with purpose is another important element for becoming an influencer. There’s no point in being creative if there’s no clear reason for doing so beyond ‘because.’ Think about the purpose behind everything that makes sense for your brand or organization before jumping into content creation mode: Why does this matter? Who cares about this issue (or cause)? How will this help someone else?”

    Authentic and creative leaders lead with THEIR stories, not other people’s

    Authentic and creative leaders lead with their stories.

    Relational leaders lead with their stories.

    Story is king (and queen).

    I want to highlight. “Our stories are sacred” is a phrase that highlights the idea that our personal stories, experiences, and histories are valuable and important. It suggests that our stories are not only meaningful to us as individuals, but also hold a deeper significance and value.

    As individuals, our stories are incredibly valuable and important. They are the foundation of our identity, the source of our strength and resilience, and the way we connect with others. Our stories are the threads that weave together the tapestry of our lives, giving shape and meaning to our experiences.

    When we share our stories with others, we open ourselves up to vulnerability and connection. We invite others to see us for who we truly are and to witness the struggles and triumphs that have shaped us. This can be a deeply transformative and healing experience, as it allows us to feel seen, heard, and understood.

    Let us remember that our stories are sacred and hold them close and cherish them. And let us also have the courage to share them with others, knowing that in doing so, we are honoring ourselves and the human experience that we all share.

    So, how do you lead creatively and authentically as a leader? It’s simple. You tell your story – the story that motivates you to action. Then, you connect this story with the creativity needed to build a plan for your organization that is aligned with your true leadership purpose. The result is an innovative strategy that reflects your values (and those of those around you).

    Please mail me, dean@deancothill.co.za and I would love to chat and share stories…

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • Are you a CREATOR or are you a CONSUMER?

    Are you a CREATOR or are you a CONSUMER?

    The Lord spoke, “Let there be light,” and there was light. He spoke again, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters,” and that was done. He spoke again, “Let the earth bring forth grass, herbs yielding seed after their kind and fruit-trees bearing fruit with seed in them on the earth.” And it was so done. Again he said: “Let there be lights in heaven to divide day from night; let them also serve as signs to mark seasons, days and years.” And it was so done… So God created man in his own image…

    • Light is a symbol of knowledge
    • Light is a symbol of truth
    • Light is a symbol of understanding
    • Light is a symbol of wisdom
    • Light is a symbol of guidance
    • Light is a symbol of hope

    In the beginning was the Word.

    In the beginning was the Word. The word is important. The word is the beginning of all things, and it is God’s way to communicate and connect with us. But he has given his Word in more than one form:

    • He spoke it as Jesus Christ, so we would have a perfect example of how to behave (the life we should be living now that we are saved). Jesus said in Matthew 5:17-18 “Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill.” He fulfilled them by showing his love for us through His death on our behalf and then rising again! So now we have a new standard for living – even though it may seem impossible at times! Christ was right there, in the beginning. Let US make mankind in OUR image.
    • He gave us the Bible which records His words (and those who wrote them down too!) Everything you need for your life here on earth is contained within this collection of books – whether it be wisdom or hope or direction…you will find what you need here if you read carefully enough!

    Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness,

    Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals…and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

    Genesis 1:26-28

    So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

    When you read this passage, you can feel a sense of wonder at what kind of being God is. What is it like to be like Him? What does it mean that He has made us in His likeness? These are questions we don’t have answers to because they are beyond our comprehension as humans with limited capacity for thought and imagination. However, there is one thing we do know: that by creating us as creators ourselves (something no other creature on earth can claim), God has given us dominion over all creation and given us purpose: to build up His kingdom here on earth until it reflects His own glory forever—a job that will never be done!

    Man is a CREATOR.

    When God created man in His image, He made us CREATORS.

    This means that you have the power of creation inside of you. You are not a spectator, listener, or mere “follower”; rather you are called by God to be a communicator and doer; an innovator and creator.

    So story time with Dean and Gale (Watch Frozen 2, you’ll get it)

    Bezalel is a figure mentioned in the book of Exodus, in the Old Testament of the Bible. According to the text, Bezalel was a skilled craftsman who was chosen by God to oversee the construction of the Tabernacle, a portable sanctuary that the Israelites used during their time in the wilderness.

    According to the story, God spoke to Moses and commanded him to appoint Bezalel and his assistant, Oholiab, to oversee the construction of the Tabernacle. God also said that He would fill Bezalel with the Holy Spirit, giving him the skills and abilities needed to complete the task.

    Exodus 31 describes Bezalel as “filled with the Spirit of God, the RUACH ELOHIM, the SAME Spirit that was at the beginning of Creation, the same words, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills.” He is described as a master craftsman, skilled in a variety of trades including goldsmithing, metalworking, and woodworking. In addition to his technical skills, Bezalel is also described as a “designer” who is able to create intricate and beautiful artwork for the Tabernacle. Any designers out there? Feel that flutter in your stomach? That warmth on your shoulders?

    The role of Bezalel in the construction of the Tabernacle is seen as significant in the Bible, as the Tabernacle was a central place of worship for the Israelites and was meant to be a physical manifestation of God’s presence among them. Bezalel’s skills and abilities, given to him by the Holy Spirit, were crucial in the creation of this important structure.

    There are several themes in the story of Bezalel that are worth considering. One is the idea that God can use ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary tasks. Bezalel was not a prophet or a leader in the Israelite community; he was simply a skilled craftsman who was chosen by God to fulfill an important role. This message can be inspiring to those who may feel that they are not particularly special or gifted, as it suggests that anyone can be used by God for a significant purpose.

    • Designers
    • Interior designers
    • Graphics
    • Art
    • Paint
    • Fashion
    • Accountants
    • Architects
    • Story tellers

    Another theme is the importance of artistic expression in the worship of God. The Tabernacle was not just a functional structure, but also a place of beauty and wonder. The attention to detail and the craftsmanship that went into its construction show the value that the Israelites placed on aesthetics and the arts.

    Bezalel is an important figure in the book of Exodus, known for his skills as a craftsman and designer, and the role he played in the construction of the Tabernacle and that GOD has placed that same SPIRIT (RUACH ELOHIM) in each of us. A creative energy, a CREATOR energy. His story highlights the idea that God can use anyone to accomplish His purposes, and the value of artistic expression in the worship of God.

    So then lemme ask you this, are you a Creator or are you a Consumer?

    Are you a creator or are you a consumer?

    A creator is someone who creates things. Creators are leaders, innovators, the ones who make things happen, the ones who change the world. They’re not followers; they’re the people leading their field of work and creating something new—whether it’s an invention, service or business model. They’re also those who contribute to society in meaningful ways that make others’ lives better: teachers and mentors; doctors and nurses; artists, writers and musicians; athletes and coaches—the list goes on!

    Consumers can be creators too! The difference between being a consumer vs being a creator often comes down to mindset: if you think about yourself as someone who creates rather than just consumes then you’ll automatically start acting differently towards your goals (which leads to success). Do you just sit and read tweets or are you brave enough to tweet? Do youngest mindlessly scroll IG, or are you brave enough to throw your hat in the ring? Do you just google google google, or are you adding to the conversation? Are you just blogging from your basement or do you have some skin in the game?

    If you were to ask yourself, “Am I a Creator or am I a Consumer?”, what would you say? If you are honest with yourself, and really think about it, I think the answer should become pretty obvious, pretty quickly…

    Let’s keep in tuouch

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • Why emotional (MENTAL) health matters in leadership

    Why emotional (MENTAL) health matters in leadership

    Hey there, so here’s the deal. I want you to take your normal, everyday life – you know, the stuff you do like sleeping, eating, working, and just going about your day – and offer it up to God. Trusting in what God does for you is the best way to honor him. Don’t just blend in with the culture around you without really thinking about it. Instead, focus on God and he will transform you from the inside out. Pay attention to what he wants from you and follow through with it. Unlike the culture that often holds you back, God helps bring out the best in you and helps you grow into a mature and well-rounded person. If you know me you’ll know that I even got Romans 12 tattoo’d on my forearm. (video coming soon)

    Romans 12 says it like this… “but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Your mind. Your thoughts. Your thinking patterns need renewing. The way you think needs DAILY RENEWING. Almost like a daily wash in the Spirit. Maybe some questions if I may?

    • How to do you start/end your day?
    • Do you exercise or even go for a walk?
    • How much do you read? I don’t mean “drugged up addictive” social media scrolling
    • Who are your “sources” of inspiration?
    • How long have you had the routines you got now?

    Emotional and mental health are crucial components of effective leadership. In fact, leaders who prioritize their own emotional and mental well-being are often more effective at leading and inspiring others. This is because they are able to create a positive and supportive work environment, make sound decisions, and build trusting and authentic relationships.

    One of the key reasons why emotional and mental health matters in leadership is because it directly affects an individual’s ability to manage stress and handle challenges. Leaders who are emotionally and mentally healthy are better equipped to handle the demands of their roles, and are less likely to become overwhelmed or burnt out. They are also more resilient, and are able to bounce back from setbacks more quickly.

    In contrast, leaders who struggle with their emotional and mental health are more likely to make poor decisions, struggle to build positive relationships, and be less productive. They may also be more prone to conflict, and may struggle to create a positive work environment for their team.

    Another reason why emotional and mental health matters in leadership is because it is essential for building trust and authenticity. Leaders who are open and vulnerable about their own struggles and emotions are more relatable, and are more likely to inspire trust and loyalty in their team. They also model healthy coping mechanisms, and encourage their team members to prioritize their own well-being.

    On the other hand, leaders who are closed off or defensive about their emotions may struggle to build authentic relationships with their team. This can lead to a lack of trust and communication, and can ultimately hinder the effectiveness of the team.

    Emotional and mental health is particularly important when it comes to building trust and authenticity within a team. Leaders who are open and vulnerable about their own emotions and struggles are more relatable, and are more likely to inspire trust and loyalty in their team. When a leader is able to share their own vulnerabilities and struggles, it creates a sense of connection and understanding. It allows team members to feel seen and heard, and to know that their leader is human and has their own challenges. This in turn can create a culture of open and honest communication, where team members feel comfortable sharing their own thoughts and feelings.

    In contrast, leaders who are closed off or defensive about their emotions may struggle to build authentic relationships with their team. This can lead to a lack of trust and communication, and can ultimately hinder the effectiveness of the team. When team members feel that their leader is not open to hearing their thoughts and feelings, it can create a sense of disconnection and mistrust. This can lead to communication breakdowns, conflicts, and ultimately, a lack of cohesion within the team.

    Therefore, it is crucial for leaders to prioritize their own emotional and mental health in order to build trust and authenticity within their team. By being open and vulnerable about their own emotions, leaders can create a sense of connection and understanding, and inspire a culture of trust, collaboration, and resilience. Overall, emotional and mental health is an essential component of effective leadership, and it is crucial for leaders to prioritize their own well-being in order to create a positive and supportive work environment for their team.

    In conclusion, emotional and mental health is an essential component of effective leadership. It enables leaders to manage stress, make sound decisions, build authentic relationships, and create a positive work environment. By prioritizing their own well-being, leaders can set an example for their team, and inspire a culture of trust, collaboration, and resilience.

    My email address is dean@deancothill.co.za

    How are you, really?

    Grace and peace

    Dean

  • Why is SEO important for my local church?

    Why is SEO important for my local church?

    I started in the Methodist Church as a bight eyes bushy tailed 19 year old, for 9 years being a youth, young adults and worship pastor in Johannesburg and then here in Port Elizabeth (South Africa). I then changed jobs a little and then found myself in a non-denominational church for 5 years being the Online Church Pastor. (A video for another day – LOL). One church had 1000 members a service, other services we were hoping for 20 people to arrive, yes, 20! and then pre pandemic we had 2000 people per service 3 times a Sunday…

    It doesn’t matter if you’re a large church or a small church—if your website isn’t getting traffic, it’s not going to be successful. And unfortunately, getting people to visit your website is not as easy as it used to be. Search engine optimization (SEO) has become more important than ever in order for churches to get the attention of their target audiences. That’s why I’ve put together this list of five reasons why SEO is essential for churches and online churches today:

    SEO is important for increasing traffic to your church website

    Search engine optimization is important because it helps you to rank higher in search engines, like Google. This will increase the amount of traffic your website gets, which is the most effective way to drive more sales and leads. Having a high ranking on Google can also help you get more exposure through organic traffic and social media channels.

    If you want to grow your church and online church, SEO is one of the best ways to achieve this goal. Because it takes time for results, it’s an ideal long term strategy for any church pastor and creative team who doesn’t want their success dependent on short term gains from promotions or paid advertising campaigns. (So much money spent on Facebook Ads, and sometimes even more now port pandemic)

    SEO provides a higher ROI than traditional marketing

    SEO is a long-term strategy, so it’s more cost effective. SEO provides better ROI than traditional marketing. Printing 5000 flyers at the robots or local mall will only go so far. There are only 5000 of them, we don’t know who actually sees these flyers and it ends there. We have all had that one post that goes a little viral, and it just goes much further than we ever thought it could’ve.

    SEO is more targeted than traditional marketing: When you use SEO to target your audience, you can reach them when they are ready to buy and convert on your website. This is not possible with other forms of advertising, which means that the people who see your ad are much more likely to visit your church or event in the future.

    Local Church SEO is more measurable than traditional marketing: Because Google Analytics tracks all of the information about how users interact with websites, it makes sense for us to know if our efforts are paying off or not! and here we can then innovate and pivot if we need to.

    SEO builds trust and credibility

    Search engines are known for their good taste. If a website is well-known and respected, it’ll rank higher in search results. This means that you will be rewarded for the time and effort you’ve put into building trust with your audience.

    After all, if you’re an established church that built a good reputation online, why would people not trust you and your team?

    SEO helps build credibility among potential congregation or community members and helps them see that you’re trustworthy—a church they can rely on.

    SEO increases your market share

    So terrible to think like this but, Jesus has called us to go fishing, and let’s catch so much fish that the nets break… Search engine optimization is a long-term strategy. You can’t expect to see results overnight. That said, if you’re willing to put in the time and effort, SEO can increase your market share—and the amount of fish you catch. Peter, Paul and John spent many nights on the water… How many nights you spending online?

    It helps you reach new members through organic search engine placement. Not only do unique visitors come from local searches, but those who visit your website will be more likely to actually check you out online for a church service or visit you in person.

    Search engines help drive traffic back to your site so that visitors stay on it longer—which means they’ll get more value out of their experience with you and are more likely to return again later on down the road, online or in person.

    SEO has the best ROI over time

    SEO has the best ROI over time. We in ministry for the long run, yeah?

    While PPC can be a great short-term strategy, it’s important to understand that with SEO, you’re investing in your church online presence for the long term. In other words, as you grow and invest in your church online, so too will your investment in SEO grow and pay off over time. So if you’re looking for a quick win that’ll help you get started on this journey, look elsewhere—SEO is a long game that requires patience and dedication but will eventually reap rewards if you stick with it.

    There are many benefits to using search engine optimization (SEO) in your church.

    Search engine optimization is an essential part of every churches marketing strategy. It is the best return on investment (ROI) and has many long-term benefits to your church.

    SEO is a low cost marketing strategy that increases your “market” share, which will lead to more people attending church and getting connected to community in the long run.

    Conclusion

    As you can see, SEO is an essential part of any local churches’ marketing strategy. It provides many benefits that other types of marketing don’t have—including higher returns on investment and greater trust in your “brand”. If you still aren’t convinced that SEO is right for your church, then consider the fact that it has the best ROI over time because there are no upfront costs involved! That means you can start seeing results right away without having to spend big bucks first. So what are you waiting for? Start implementing these strategies today!

    Church leaders (and maybe even business owners), I hope this helps…

    Contact me if you have any questions about SEO and other online presence management things.

    Much love

    Dean

  • What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

    What does it mean to be a man? (Part 1)

    Are you a man? Are you a man’s man? Are you a ladies man? Ever been told to man up? Suck it up and be a man? Stop crying, boy’s don’t cry? The world we live in have told kids and men in many different ways that there are norms and that there are some things that are on the table and things that aren’t.

    So I think it’s important to note that masculinity, like any social construct, is constantly evolving and can vary significantly depending on cultural and historical context. In this response, I will focus on how masculinity has evolved in Western societies over the past five years, but it is worth noting that the experiences and expectations of masculinity can be very different in other parts of the world.

    Over the past five years, there has been a growing movement to challenge traditional notions of masculinity and to promote more inclusive and healthy expressions of masculinity. This has included a focus on issues such as toxic masculinity, male privilege, and the harmful effects of rigid gender roles on men and those around them.

    One of the key drivers of this shift has been the #MeToo movement, which has brought attention to issues of sexual harassment and assault, particularly as they relate to men’s behavior and the power dynamics between men and women. The #MeToo movement has sparked a broader conversation about the ways in which traditional notions of masculinity can contribute to harmful and oppressive behaviors, and has encouraged men to examine their own actions and beliefs and to consider how they can be part of the solution.

    Another factor that has contributed to the evolution of masculinity is the increasing recognition of the importance of mental health and emotional intelligence. In the past, there has often been a stigma attached to men seeking help for mental health issues or expressing emotions other than anger or aggression. However, in recent years there has been a growing understanding that men also experience a range of emotions and that it is important for their overall well-being to be able to express and process these emotions in healthy ways. Coming off the last 3 months, I am going to try and be brave and vulnerable and honest about so many of my struggles and emotional health issues coming off work, stress, anxiety and burnout. (All of which I never saw coming, I mean, I honestly thought it would never happen to me. EVER)

    This shift has been driven in part by the LGBTQ+ movement, which has worked to create more inclusive and accepting environments for people of all gender identities and sexual orientations. As a result, there has been a greater acceptance and understanding of the diversity of gender and sexual identities, and a recognition that not all men identify as heterosexual or conform to traditional gender roles.

    This shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality has challenged traditional notions of masculinity, which have often been based on rigid and narrow ideas of what it means to be a “man.” By allowing for a wider range of expressions of masculinity, this shift has helped to create a more inclusive and accepting society for people of all genders and sexualities.

    It is worth noting that this shift towards more fluid and non-binary expressions of gender and sexuality is not limited to men, but is also applicable to women and those who do not identify with either binary gender. However, for the purposes of this response, I focused specifically on how this shift has affected and challenged traditional notions of masculinity.

    Overall, it is clear that masculinity has evolved significantly over the past five years, and will likely continue to evolve in the future. While there is still much work to be done to create more equitable and healthy expressions of masculinity, it is encouraging to see the progress that has been made in recent years.

    Having Daniel and Elizabeth has absolutely opened my eyes to what it means to be a “boy” and what it means to be a “girl” and what it means to raise a child.

    It is important to recognize that all children are unique individuals and parenting approaches should be tailored to meet the needs and personality of each individual child. That being said, there are some general differences between raising boys and girls that may be worth considering:

    • Physical differences: Boys and girls may have different physical characteristics and developmental milestones. For example, boys may develop physically and emotionally at a slightly faster pace, and may be more interested in rough-and-tumble play, and soccer, and the World Cup and Ronaldo and that final, and Messi. Girls may mature more slowly and may be more interested in dolls and imaginative play.

    • Socialization and gender roles: Boys and girls may be socialized differently by society and may be encouraged to exhibit different behaviors based on gender stereotypes. It is important for parents to be aware of these societal expectations and to try to avoid imposing rigid gender roles on their children.
    1. Communication styles: Boys and girls may communicate differently, with boys often being more physically expressive and girls more verbal. It is important for parents to be attuned to their child’s individual communication style and to try to encourage open and honest communication.
    2. Emotional expression: Boys and girls may express their emotions differently. Boys may be more likely to suppress their emotions or to express them through physical aggression, while girls may be more likely to express their emotions through verbal communication. It is important for parents to encourage open and healthy expression of emotions in both boys and girls.

    Again, it is important to remember that these are generalizations and that every child is unique. The most important thing is to approach parenting with love, patience, and an open mind, and to be responsive to the needs and personality of your individual child.

    So what does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a dad?

    Stay tuned for PART 2 next week…

    Much love

    D

  • The RCT Principle

    The RCT Principle

    According to the Relational Confidence Theory, everything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational. This means that if you’re not getting support from a group or someone else (like a boss), then it’s harder to stay committed to something that doesn’t want the best for you. To put it another way, it’s about our commitment to our TASKS will be relative to how CONNECTED I feel to the TEAM.

    There is a reason why former soldiers, in a study done by Dr. Xavier Amador, committed suicide after getting out of the Army but not while they were in it.

    The reason why former soldiers, in a study done by Dr. Xavier Amador, committed suicide after getting out of the Army but not while they were in it is that soldiers have a strong sense of commitment to their unit, but not to the task. This is true for many other organizations as well and can be seen in companies where people feel isolated or like they are not doing what they were hired to do. This phenomenon can cause unnecessary turnover because people don’t want to work on projects that they don’t find meaningful.

    If you have been tasked with leading an organization’s employee engagement efforts, it may help you if you understand how your employees’ minds work when it comes to working on tasks and within groups.

    There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from within, such as when someone is passionate about something, and extrinsic motivation comes from external factors like money or praise. The problem with extrinsic motivation is that it can be fleeting and does not always provide long-term commitment to tasks. This means that if you want employees to stay on a project, they will have to care about it in some way beyond just getting paid.

    Relational Confidence Theory states that anything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational.

    While the RCT Principle is a bit more complex than this, it can be summed up as follows:

    • Relational Confidence Theory states that anything we do has two kinds of commitment involved: task and relational. The work and the people I get to do the work with.
    • Task commitment is the reason you do something; relational commitment is the reason you do it well.
    • We need both to be successful.

    Task commitment and relational commitment are two important factors that can influence the way we approach and complete tasks. Task commitment is the reason we decide to do something. It’s the motivation that drives us to take on a project or task, and it can come from a variety of sources, such as a sense of responsibility, a desire to learn or improve, or a sense of personal accomplishment.

    Relational commitment, on the other hand, is the reason we do something well. It’s the dedication and effort we put into a task because of the impact it will have on our relationships with others. For example, we might work hard on a project for a boss or colleague because we value and respect them, or because we want to maintain a positive working relationship.

    Both task and relational commitment are important, and they often go hand in hand. When we have a strong sense of task commitment, we are more likely to put in the effort and dedication needed to complete a task well. And when we have a strong sense of relational commitment, we are more likely to take pride in our work and strive to do our best in order to maintain and strengthen our relationships with others.

    However, there may be times when one type of commitment is stronger than the other. For example, we might be highly motivated to complete a task because it’s important to us personally, but not necessarily because it will have a direct impact on our relationships with others. In these cases, our task commitment may be the driving force behind our efforts.

    It’s also possible to have low levels of both task and relational commitment. In these cases, it can be difficult to find the motivation and dedication needed to complete tasks well. This is why it’s important to identify and cultivate both task and relational commitment in our work and personal lives.

    One way to do this is to set clear goals and priorities for ourselves. By focusing on what we want to achieve and why it’s important to us, we can tap into our sense of task commitment and use it to drive our efforts. We can also think about the impact our work will have on others and how it can strengthen our relationships. This can help to cultivate a sense of relational commitment and encourage us to do our best.

    Another way to foster both task and relational commitment is to find work or projects that align with our values and passions. When we are passionate about what we do, it can be easier to find the motivation and dedication needed to complete tasks well. And when we see the value in our work and how it can benefit others, it can help to strengthen our sense of relational commitment.

    In conclusion, task commitment and relational commitment are two important factors that can influence the way we approach and complete tasks. By focusing on our goals, priorities, and passions, and considering the impact our work will have on others, we can cultivate both types of commitment and increase our motivation and dedication to do our best.

    We can do something well because we are committed to our work but don’t feel like we have anyone who is backing us up.

    Another example of when the RCT principle doesn’t apply is when you’re not really committed to your work or your organization. In this case, even though you might be doing something well, it’s not going to last. Another way of looking at this situation is that sometimes people do things well because they’re committed but don’t feel like they have anyone backing them up. That leads us back to our original point; if someone feels like they are being backed up by others, then they will do their jobs better and more consistently than otherwise!

    Without support from someone else or a group, you can end up feeling like there’s no point in doing great work. You’ll start to feel resentment toward your organization or company, which is an indicator that you aren’t really committed to it as a whole anymore either (it’s harder to be committed to something that doesn’t want the best for you).

    If you’re not connected to your team and/or task with purpose and meaning, then it’s easy for others on your team (or elsewhere) who are connected with purpose and meaning themselves to get annoyed by your lack of connection. This is especially true if they’re working hard, but their efforts aren’t being recognized by anything other than the loudest person in the room (ahem).

    Conclusion

    You need to be confident in your work and know that someone is backing you up. This will help increase your productivity as well as make you feel more satisfied with what you’re doing on a daily basis. If this sounds familiar, try reaching out to someone who can support you throughout the day – whether it’s family or friends or even just talking about how stressful things have been recently!

    Grace and Peace fam

    Keep an eye out for this video to be released soon.

    Dean